Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Jagermeister / Jack / Jameson
Uploaded: 2016-02-05T14:38:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Jagermeister / Jack / Jameson' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Jagermeister / Jack / Jameson' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-05. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
uh monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you just checking can i
stop doing that
people i don't have any new way of doing it can i just say i'm just checking in
i'm gonna do that
for a while and every once in a while i'll scream okay it'll make it special um
anyways as you heard
the uh the laughter in the background uh we're welcoming the lovely nia hi to
the thursday
afternoon podcast just before friday um um and you wanted to clear your name so
to speak for
drugging the man you allegedly love i didn't drug you you took it voluntarily
no i did not get yes
well you talked me into it i wasn't i didn't like slip it into your fucking
cornflakes or whatever
okay i asked you if you wanted and you were like all right you took it you're
just a liar i'm not a
liar what do you mean liar how many times did you ask me to take it before i
actually took the fucking
i don't remember see that's the magical powers of the pot cookie no you're
pulling a ronald reagan
right now memory magically erases i don't remember probably a couple times no i
don't want to do
that it's going to get me all fucked up and you said no no no this is mellow
yes i did say that oh
this is coming back to you now yeah yeah and then like i felt it was mellow but
you're kind of a
lightweight when it comes to this let's be honest so well yeah well yeah if you
didn't drink at all
i wouldn't be like hey have a couple of fucking jaegers that's nothing tastes
like syrup i wouldn't
do that to you i'd let you sip on a beer or something jaeger is disgusting get
you like a wine
cool well not for nothing wine cooler as our wine coolers i used to drink those
bartles and james
pot cookies don't really taste that good do they they definitely taste more
like weed than cookie
yeah all right then and jaeger definitely tastes more like jaeger than licorice
well i would just
like to which is gross too why do people is is that what jaeger is at their
base note if we're gonna
talk in like perfume terms i thought you're talking a musical sense no i gotta
be honest with you i
haven't i don't even know what i don't even know what it is it's disgusting it's
like like what is
it makes me think of vomit i never i never it's a liquor isn't it i don't know
i all i know is that
it's just it's one of those things that like when i was first living in new york
and would go hang
out at this awful bars on the upper east side with a bunch of like banker kids
and young stockbrokers
and frat boys that were like let's have jaeger and then inevitably they'd put
on you know living
on a prayer and everyone would sing and it was the most horrifying experience
and i hate those kind
of bars and i hate that kind of vibe for that reason and i feel like if i got
talked into doing
a jaeger shot which you know i'm trying to go along have fun it would just be
the thing that put me over
into vomitorium so jaeger is not yes it's for people who don't know how to
drink well this is what it
really is though what is it well the people in around the world probably
different drink it
differently than we do okay jaeger meister is a german digestif so this is like
after you have like a big
meal you said that that makes sense in france yeah yeah made with 56 herbs and
spices at a strength of
35 alcohol by volume whatever the whoa 35 i mean that's a lot no wonder people
mainline it like
fucking white china but a couple drug references in there for you what's white
china is that heroin
i think i think i don't know who are you uh um oh there you go it's a digestif
so it's not supposed
to uh okay you're not supposed to be doing what people are doing with it i get
it 35 alcohol too
that that it makes a lot of sense i would just also like to say in terms of the
the edible is that a
lot but ingested it is a lot um the edible that you ingested it was cut into
fours as is recommended
it's not like you ate the entire cookie so i want people to understand that it
wasn't like you got the
whole entire thing oh yeah yeah but still i mean a lightweight like me yeah i
was like tripping
it's 70 proof that's what jaeger is that's also insanely high no it's not 70
proof i mean it's up
there it's a shot well look let me just let me just uh like jack daniels yeah
let's see i'd like to
know these old jack oh my buddy your buddy jack daniels my buddy i visited him
the other night
i only haven't only talked to him once though i usually have a long
conversation that slowly
dissolves into tears you know what i mean jack do you like jameson uh yeah i do
it's all right
you're fancy yeah i want you to become a snob yeah jamie's like i got when i'm
in the mood yeah when
i want to get hammered jameson you know if i want to have like you know
something nice and pretend i
actually i'm cultured yeah i'll go with more of a scotch or something like that
is that that stuff
that you have that's in that like suitcase looking thing that coffin yeah what
is that that blue stuff
is that johnny walker blue yeah it's like a half gallon of johnny walker blue
they don't even a lot
of it they don't even sell that bottle when i went in and bought it they had it
in their liquor store
for 10 years and verzi was coming out here so i was like i gotta get this thing
yeah just laughing like
the label's different the thing it's the sickest fucking it looks like it's in
a suitcase it's like
it's so pretty like it's leather and it's like really what's that other one
that's really fancy
when you're really dedicated to damaging your liver yeah what's that other one
you have that's really
fancy that you haven't even drank yet you've had it here for like three years
uh pappy van winkles
right did you break that open when paul verzi was here no we didn't but i but i
drank that i drank
pappy's with him in uh what the hell were you nashville so it's here but you
just haven't drank it
yeah i'm just waiting for that right time when all everybody's over you know to
break it open and uh
when would that be i don't know in other words you want a shot i'll i want to
try it like i want to
try that shot when we went to the what was it the polo lounge and we had that
that fancy that you
were dying to get which stunk yeah you were like eh what was that louie louie
the 14th yeah 13th or
something like nine zillion dollars and it's stunk i've had better i've had
better cognacs than that
one comes that that one's uh that one's like totally like uh that's like the
boy band of cognacs it's
which one well because everybody who doesn't know anything about it like me
fucking sees it no though
the cognac there's a lot of snobs that say pappy's is for the price is overrated
but uh it's still delicious though the way to get all of those is just to buy
the shine if you go out and
buy the bottle you're an which i am you know what i mean they're completely
overpriced but it's fun
when you have people come over and you break out the bottle it's it's a nice
thing to do as a host
but if you're just gonna you should never buy a bottle of that just for
yourself and then just sit
there that's well i mean i guess you're saving i mean it's sat there for like a
few years now
yeah you gotta you gotta break it out that's you know the old me when i when
this how ignorant i was
with and i'm still don't know much about this shit all right so save your
fucking cunty tweets can you
just in a in a nice polite way be like actually it's not 30 alcohol how that
because i know it's
not 30 alcohol it's like 30 of something blah blah blah some eggheads you know
like just as a human
being you're supposed to know everything right you know you're into math and
booze so you know the answer
to that you know i know the answer to other things a lovely bartender or mixologist
perhaps listening
who actually really knows and it's not gonna just like i don't want to talk to
a mixologist because
i don't like that word that was that's right up there with foodie right um foodie
which i've even
said and then after a while it's like you know i i don't like e i don't like
that at the end foodie
i'm a foodie i'm a mixologist so what about bartender what about that
what was it you were looking up how much proof is uh okay uh
oh jesus christ come on man i just asked the question oh jack daniels i just
wrote on jack
daniels i should write proof that helps oh geez then you go to the wikipedia
page
it's 80 proof that seems like a lot too well jameson is only 70 proof like what
it is about
jameson is it is you're drinking something you're supposed to sip something
that you're drinking
that you're slamming and then they do a bunch of them and it's really i mean i
would think that the
the sugar is just off the charts yeah the first time i ever remember the first
time i ever had
jameson was when we were in when you did a show in dublin our first time in ireland
and you know i
fucking love ireland and i love the people there that oh yeah they're the best
oh my god it was
it was that was the first time because you know i don't drink beer that was
when that guy gave you
right yeah when we were like we stand on a street corner this irish guy is on a
bicycle right as
every european seems to be and we got we got a little turned around trying to
find our hotel
and i went up to him i said let me just ask this guy and i said um excuse me
sir do you know where
such and such is and he just pauses and he looks at me and he goes adieu and
then he's just still
staring at me and i look at you and i'm like um are you gonna tell me i might
yeah i remember you
laughed you laughed won me over yeah you were like are you gonna you go well
are you gonna tell me
he's like i might i'm moist