Name: Bill Burr - The Clintons / Political Talk
Uploaded: 2016-02-12T02:20:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - The Clintons / Political Talk' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - The Clintons / Political Talk' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-12. Transcript available.

it's another thing that i was looking up is uh as beautiful as these states are
you know that
i've been going to all of these states that people you know consider flyover
states and
what the goes on there you know just shitting all over them even though they're
absolutely
gorgeous and there's great people out there is um you know just the drug use
and that type of
is really bad the heroin man everywhere i go is this heroin problem and they
keep linking it back
to these uh you know people having an injury i saw this on real sports people
have an injury and then
they get like whatever they get the what is it percocets vicodin i know what
the it is oxy
and that and then when that runs out they still want that high and heroin is
cheaper and
it's just like you know once again once again you would think you know with all
this of
talking about terrorism you know and people doing to this country for some
reason
you can with the food supply and you can get your own countrymen addicted to
heroin
and as long as you got enough money nobody gives a it's completely flag isn't
that like
an act of terrorism am i out of my mind how can you do that to fellow americans
you're ruining
people's lives it's brutal but it's one of the reasons why i stay out of the
politics you know
every once in a while i look at the stuff and it's just i i don't know it's
like overwhelmingly depressing
you know like um i saw something the other day on uh for some reason i was
looking up chelsea
clinton because i saw her on tv with hillary and hillary was giving a speech
like
right and i was literally going like there's no way i can listen to that
voice for four years i just can't i am not against a woman being president
whatsoever but you cannot
sound like somebody learning how to play a trumpet d i just i don't give a you
could have all the
answers to the universe there's no you can't hear what she's saying
you know my dog's looking at me right now like really um so anyway so i looked
up and i was just
going like how old is she now and when i started out in comedy she was just a
kid and um you know
she was at that awkward age and it was kind of this nice unwritten rule you
know you didn't make fun
of it was she's a awkward age right now i was thinking was she like 12 or
something like that
and uh i went to go look it up you know how old she was found out she was in
her 30s which
blew my mind even though obviously it was 20 years ago right but um what killed
me is what i saw
was they had a stat on her wedding do you know her parents threw her a three
million dollar wedding
like these politicians are so dishonest they don't even try to hide it
it's like how the could you afford a three million dollar wedding
the most money either one of you ever made in public service was was being
president which
was 400 grand a year dude you make 400 grand a year they're gonna whack you in
half
you're gonna maybe walk with 200
right nowadays probably less than that probably 195 where the
are you getting off paying for a
fucking
you got a three million dollar wedding a house on
fucking math is vineyard give me a break
these cunts go around right i got another hershey's kiss in my mouth so you
know i'm telling the truth
um
these guys go around they just give speeches him and his wife
250 300 grand a whack
just giving speeches can you imagine paying 300 grand and listen to somebody
for an hour ago
right for a hour now you got sickly clinton with that awful facelift that he
got which just made
his head look huge you know he's lost all that weight and he got it he got a
chin whatever the
fuck he did to his chin he yanked that back he looked like a bobblehead version
of himself
and i'll tell you his shits yanked back so tight he can't even clap anymore you
know what i mean either
that or that's his true feelings about his wife right which he can't blame you
really can't blame bill
clinton for going out and taking a cigar and and putting it in that woman you
know what i mean if like
that's what he's laying next to in bed i mean i you know jesus christ if if i
was married to hillary
clinton she would have to have you know those those surgical masks that asian
people wear when they
get sick because they don't want to get anybody else sick because they're
fucking courteous or
because it's like nine zillion people that live next door it could turn into an
epidemic i don't
fucking know why they do it right i would make her wear one of those all the
time because
maybe then she'd sound like a muted trumpet right and every once in a while she'd
hit a couple of
notes that remind me of a miles davis song and then maybe i could just stop
myself from strangling
her in the oval office you know
she reminds me like an animal that like is is getting eaten alive you know you
ever hear that
like just like time i saw that monkey eating that other monkey alive just
digging meat out of its back
and he's like you know it's sort of a like not as sharp and not as quick as
that um
anyways and then that that bernie sanders guys with his
night you look at you know you wonder why bill clinton
got a fucking facelift and then you you're you got his neck done then you look
at bernie sanders
you're like oh that's why jesus christ he looks like a fucking he looks like a
bloodhound
eating a turkey dinner jowls flopping all around right all of these guys that
jersey guy looks all
fat and then everybody else just looks like an extra to me granted i have not
listened to one
fucking word any of them have said but it's uh it's going to be interesting oh
really bill you think
it's going to be interesting a presidential election that might pique your
interest you freckled arrogant