Name: Bill Burr - Christopher Cross / Go See Dave Attell
Uploaded: 2016-03-04T15:51:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Christopher Cross / Go See Dave Attell' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-03-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Christopher Cross / Go See Dave Attell' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-03-04. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the monday morning part
now it is it's time
for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i'm
just checking in
on you come i can't fucking hear myself what do i gotta plug this in right here
can i hear myself
there we go now i can hear myself you know can't hear myself it's like i was
talking about with
dean del rey last night outside uh the comedy store he was talking to me about
how uh
you know you know like when singers get old they can't you know they can't sing
the way they used to
right jesus this is going to be a long way you know like i was watching christopher
cross last
night you know my wife i came home and neil was cranking you know sailing
sailing away
i'm going to another boat whatever the fuck he says because i ride right like
the wind
right right like the wind right listen to that shit because i got such a long
way to go
right listen to that shit so she was sitting there talking
ah fuck it i'll just keep going on this thing and i'll get back to dean in a
minute
she kept talking about she goes what kind of like fucking music is this she's
like is this like
sort of uh you know she was saying it was sort of disco-y i'm like there really
isn't it's sort of
post-disco what would you call that adult contemporary you know cause i ride no
it's cause i ride
ride like the wind and then cause i got such a long way to go and they always
have like the fucking
like really like uh like the session musicians they're like so good it's it
just doesn't sound like
it's even alive all right well you know it's weird i like the music but just
some of the shit like the
drummer was amazing on those fucking it's just too slick you know i don't know
what the fuck it is but
anyways i was talking to dean and um we were talking about i hate when people
like bitch when a singer
gets old and then he can't sing the way he used to and it's just like oh yeah
because back in the day
they used to sing like robert plant gets a ton of shit it's like dude you go
sing the fucking immigrant
song every night for fucking a two-year tour you're done right if you watch but
i'm not saying
he can't sing now but i mean what do you want from the guy he's out there
drinking booze he's smoking
cigarettes and he's fucking singing every goddamn night as opposed to these
modern day people
who learn from the other guys the same way no drummer drives a rolls royce into
a swimming pool anymore
right did i almost say swimming pool swimming pool
right nobody drowns in their own vomit anymore it happens every once in a while
it fucking happens but
you know you learn it's like when i came in um when i came into this business i
saw a bunch of comics
from the 80s that didn't pay taxes and and fucking sent it all up their nose
and they had their
wages garnished and it was like they were on punishment for like 10 years so my
my wave of
comics you know stayed away from the booze and that type of and then what was
funny i got about 15 years
into this and i noticed that people started partying again you know just
because they probably
looked at us like we were sitting there like we were part of the osmond family
you know
so then another thing that they say is oh wow did you see so and so man he got
old oh wow she got old
and that always bugs me it's like what the what the happened to you you're not
losing your looks now
look at that you say that enough and now look at all these celebrities they're
walking around they're
getting their lips inflated they're getting that goddamn botox you know
injected in their face so they can be
like laminated have that nice shiny face because nothing says youth like a
shiny
unmoving face right i don't know i don't know how the hell i got into that um i
am gonna go see a uh
i'm gonna go to a rock concert tomorrow night i'm going to a mute i don't even
know what the kids call
them nowadays um i'm gonna go see mute math tomorrow night very excited about
that um it makes me feel like
i'm somewhat not an old guy to be going to this thing and uh i'm so old i can't
even like classify
what their music is because uh i had i was hanging with uh dean last night a
couple other people a
couple other oldies like myself we were all just coming to the realization that
rock music is it's
dead it's just it's dead and there's nothing we can do and it's you know it's
not coming back and if
somebody tries to bring it back they'll be considered retro right am i out of
my mind but it's it's over
it's the last time you saw somebody playing a guitar
and i don't mean some flamenco or doing your acoustic version of a rap song i
don't mean
that i mean like just somebody uh i don't know i know there's a lot of people
scratching their heads
going well what about all that death metal and all that i of course i'm i'm not
i'm not talking about
that i'm not talking about any anything i'm just talking about basically i'm
just an old man
wondering where the hair metal went 30 years after it died 36 years maybe after
it died i'm just an
old man rambling on a podcast don't judge me huh what about you what are you
doing right now you're
sitting in traffic right your little car drive over a puddle and the water
comes up through the
floorboards you're judging me you think i haven't been there um with you um so
last night the show was
dean delray just a sick show um david tell popped in who once again every time
i see that guy perform
stand-up it's just i talked to bartnick and i was like is he ever not going to
be the best
um and there's no way for me to say what he says or else i burn his jokes but
he was just like
he's one of those guys that he has me dying laughing and half half his set i'm
either dying
laughing or i'm just standing there just just watching him just shaking my head
like how the
do you come up with that stuff um so what i'm i guess what i'm saying here is
um i like christopher
cross and if you have a chance go see david tell i think that that was the
purpose of the first six
minutes right is that what it is um not jesus christ what the hell is it let me
do the live reads
hey oh sailing away come on come on come over here and sing some christopher
cross
i'll do the christopher cross part you you do the uh you do the uh the your
your boy there michael
mcdonald do that part right all right because i've arrived right like to win
something it's something
and now it's time for the michael mcdonald's fucking part
because i got such a long way to go
wait is that it no it goes uh because i got such a long way to go
because i got such a long way to go
oh i got such a long way to go such a long way such a long way
sorry every once in a while it has to just be for us yeah sorry christopher
cross right you know
he's a big fan of him jimmy fallon jimmy fallon's had him on he had him on his
uh when
he took over for conan then he had he had him on the tonight show yes