Name: Bill Burr - Advice: I Stink
Uploaded: 2016-05-02T19:04:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: I Stink' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: I Stink' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-02. Transcript available.

all right advice i smell all right i have a i have a crippling health issue
since i was a kid
i fucking stink people tell me i smell moldy no doctor knows why cologne and deodorants
can't
mask it oh my god he goes the odor actually gets stronger when i use those
things showering doesn't
help so i am left alone with the this issue i'm trying to eat as healthy as
possible and exercise
every day which seems to reduce the problem by 50 which sounds like a lot but
still doesn't satisfy
me i think it's a metabolic issue which i don't know what that is and the body
is trying to get
rid of the toxins through the skin not sure though either way my whole life
revolves around this shit
and it led me through episodes of depressions as a teenager and i even
considered throwing myself
off a bridge or in front of one of those great white trains uh us germans are
making
but life is actually decent despite this issue i can't attend any college
classes because of the
anxiety but i have a great amount of friends i'm happy funny all right looking
guy and my game is
all right so i still get my dick wet sometimes gross um can't lock down any
girl though for obvious
reasons i don't even know why i wrote all of this but i just wanted to tell you
that this podcast and
your comedy are really stimulating my butt stinking brain please come to germany
so we can see your show
and i can harass your nose thanks for reading and go yourself and your dog just
kidding i like your dog
just go yourself um all right dude um i would just keep going to doctors they i
bet they could figure
something out you know there's got to be some new agey type of thing some sort
of detox if it's your
body getting rid of a toxin maybe you're allergic to something i have no idea i
am not obviously not a
doctor here but uh detox fasting changing your diet um
there's got to be there's got to be a way to do that i remember a long time ago
there was some woman
that just had was talking about she had brutal halitosis which is uh you know
your breath stinks
it was brutal and um it turned out she had some sort of sinus infection and
then once they cleared
that up her breath was fine so i bet you have this i you know if i had to guess
there's something
undiagnosed you know oh god i'm so in over my head you got something maybe you
have some sort of
infection i have no idea and i bet you know there's got to be something at this
if if somebody can take
a nap and drive to work and not kill anybody they got to figure out why you're
moldy
i would just keep going to specialists and i if you guys have nationwide health
care over there
i would just that would be my new hobby you know and just keep adding to your
file and somebody comes
in and somebody will finally crack the case as to why you smell moldy i bet
they can figure it out
you know and then what would be great is you went through the alienation of
this so you got the sense
of humor that comes from feeling alienated and um i your life will be a joke
after that
i mean think about it dude if you could just stop smelling moldy i would think
that that's the number
one thing and then you'd be happy you know your life would be a joke so if you
have nationwide
health care i would be seeing a doctor like every couple of days all right
buddy it's like you're
pulling people out of the crowd to hit the half court shot eventually it's the
the ball's gonna go in
i believe in dude it's it's fucking germany you guys got you guys are you're
you know half our space
program we stole from you guys the whole seeds of it audio tape all that you
guys had better machine
guns than we did ours would overheat so if we killed you we actually picked we
dropped our guns and picked
up your machine guns there's no way in 2016 they can't figure out why you're
moldy i feel bad for you
man i'm rooting for you and i hope you figure it out before you come out to my
show and i should
probably know the answer if they didn't you know all right go yourselves uh
have a great week and i'll
check it on you on thursday see you