Name: Bill Burr - Throwback Thursday Story (Shoot Matches)
Uploaded: 2016-05-02T19:16:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Throwback Thursday Story (Shoot Matches)' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Throwback Thursday Story (Shoot Matches)' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-02. Transcript available.

all right shoot matches dear billy bangers and mash you were talking about
shoot matches
shoot matches on this thursday's podcast for those of you who didn't listen a
shoot match
is a wrestling term where basically you know the sports entertainment you know
it's a fake fight
even though they really hurting each other but you know it's worked out it's
sports entertainment
so technically it's fake even though they're really throwing each other and
getting hurt it is fake
what happens in a shoot match is somebody fucking snaps and becomes a real
fight and starts
beating the shit out of the person for real so um he said if you're into those
shoot matches you
should definitely look up a wrestler named new jack the psycho was known for
frequently shooting on
other wrestlers for the most minor things in one case he thought a tag team was
trying to steal his
gangster image so he hit them with chairs full force stabbed them in the head
with forks
etc and in another match he basically tries to murder a 60 something year old
man
those matches are brutal as fuck man you should check them out i actually saw
those
yeah that guy has like psychological damages damages psychological damage um
i knew a guy like that when i was growing up he went to fucking cop school
surprise surprise
you know fucking maniacs who like to be violent like they they always end up
somehow being bouncers
and cops i'm not saying they're all like that i'm just saying it's like you
know people that want to
fuck kids you know they're all about volunteering to take them out into the
woods not saying every cup
scout master as well i'm just saying you know people who want to beat the fuck
out of people
and don't want to go to jail get jobs where they have the authority to beat the
fuck out of somebody so
this fucking lunatic so he comes back from like his weekend at cop school and
um i don't know what he
did he never got accepted they just were like try out thing i don't know i can't
remember so fucking long
ago so he wants to show me this move that he learned and he was doing it in
slow motion and then i
remember he just fucking looked up at the ceiling you know do you remember how
like uh that dude in
full metal jacket when he's like i am in a world of shit private joker you know
that that thing right
he fucking looked up like that and just fucking full force did the move and i
heard my fucking wrist snap
and um i forget how many times i punched him in the side of the head i was so
fucking mad at him
and i was really just mad at myself because i knew that he was one of those
guys like he just
fucking like like he was one of those he was one of the exact type of
personality that you do not teach
that type of shit too because just he was a dope he never felt like he had
power in life and then
he had this new move and he just couldn't handle it it was like you know the
whole thing when they
always talk like a baby poisonous snake is the worst is worse than getting bit
by an adult baby snake
because the adult baby snake sort of rations out the poison where the baby just
gives you both
barrels that's that's what the he did he had the mentality of a baby reptile is
what i'm saying
and he jacked up my goddamn wrist and um hey and you know what it became a
shoot match
he's supposed to just show it to me and i just fucking drilled him in the side
of the head like
fucking six times as hard as i fucking could i was so fucking mad at him and i
remember we were both
drunk yeah that fucking idiot god bless him um anyways moving ahead here that
was a throwback thursday story