Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Politics
Uploaded: 2016-05-10T08:53:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Politics' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Politics' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-10. Transcript available.

Wife's family is a bunch of dramatic babies.
Oh, God.
You're the baby.
Here we go.
Hey, Bill, I'm sick of this election.
I hope Trump wins.
I know he's a jerk, but I hate Hillary,
and I think Bernie is a nice guy without a clue.
He says a lot of great things, but he's going to raise taxes.
He talks about making college free, but his taxes will make it hard.
Nothing is free.
Yeah, that's never going to happen.
But nothing, you know, free health care.
It's not free.
Somebody's got to fucking pay for it.
He talks about making college free,
but his taxes will make it harder for people like me to pay my student loans.
I make $95,000 a year.
I have a kid, $100,000 in student loans between me and my wife.
We live comfortably.
But if you take another $2,500 to $4,000 from me a year, I will feel it.
Yeah, definitely.
I am already only netting $60,000.
What the fuck is all of this?
Yeah, what's the point?
The family is a bunch of dramatic babies.
All right, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, so we're getting to his family here somewhere.
Okay.
I'm not opposed to giving money to help people who need it, but when is enough
enough?
A trillion dollars on dumb shit every year and you need more from me?
Fuck off, Bernie.
I love how he's blaming Bernie.
You know?
Bernie didn't create the fucking situation.
He's trying to get us out of it, I guess.
I don't know if it's going to work.
I don't think, I mean, I don't know if people work with the guy, but, oh God,
what a fucking
decision this year.
So I make this point to my wife, my wife's family.
I didn't yell.
I didn't say, fuck off, Bernie.
I just said, I don't think we, the people, should have to give more money if
they're wasting
the money they already get.
Well, my wife's family lost their shit.
They said that I'm selfish and that if I vote for Trump, I'm endorsing hate and
greed and
fascism.
Really?
Question mark?
They endorsed Obama and I have a problem with him hatefully blowing up kids and
wedding parties
with drones.
Why doesn't that make them hateful?
They then went on to talk about, for 30 minutes, about hate and how they were
scared about
what would happen to the country and they're scared about how children will
grow up in a
country with, and I quote, Hitler minus the concentration camps.
I told him that comparing an egomaniac to Hitler is unfair to the victims of
the Holocaust.
It trivializes the actual evil of Hitler embodied.
Her mother and father were both taken aback and said that my way of thinking
could be
potentially be dangerous to their grandchildren.
What period the fuck period is going period on period?
Well, you dope.
Yeah.
You fucking opened up your big fucking mouth about politics.
You are so dumb to talk about politics.
No, he isn't.
He's young.
He doesn't know.
Well, now you know.
Yeah.
And how did you learn?
How did you learn?
And how did I learn?
By bringing it up and getting into the whole thing.
By doing that.
Yeah.
This is the deal.
So that's fair.
But yeah, you know you can't talk about politics and religion and shit like
that.
I'm going to say it.
It got really heated right before they said that shit.
Well, you can't.
And also, you just, you can't.
I don't know.
You got to be, if you really are going to vote for Trump, I just, I think there's
only
certain sections of the United States where you could say that, where you'll
get a, yeah,
I get it.
Oh, well, tell me more about your opinion.
And I feel like if you say, you know what, fuck this, I'm voting for Trump,
most people
are going to be like, are you fucking kidding me?
So I'm not surprised at that.
No, I actually got a lot of shit when I was, I made fun of him when, you know,
I got some
shit for it.
For making fun of Trump?
Yeah.
From who?
People who support Trump.
Oh, well, okay, fine.
Yeah.
Believe it or not, there's people that support, I know.
I know.
He has a lot more than I thought.
Remember when we was first talking about running and we were both like, this is
never going to
happen.
This is a joke.
This is ridiculous.
And now here we are.
And he's like the only Republican left standing.
So, I mean, I guess I underestimated him.
Yeah.
He's like the Lester city.
He's like the Lester city of politicians.
But here's the thing though.
I also think, but I think like, you know, Hillary Clinton is the fucking devil
because she's
acting like she gives a fuck and she's, you know, she's one of those Bilderberg
people.
I don't like her.
I like Bernie out of all of them.
I like Bernie Sanders.
I just don't think anybody's going to fucking work with him.
Well, the California primary is coming up, so he's, he's not throwing in the
towel.
Bernie, Bernie.
Well, we have to, you know, I have to vote for a guy.
I have to vote for a person that I feel is actually truly gives a shit about
regular people.
And that would be him, whether he's going to be successful or not.
And I know what a lot of people are saying.
Oh, you're going to put Trump in office.
I've always voted for the fucking third wheel every fucking goddamn time.
Well, when the primary happens, we got to vote for him.
That's the only way that he'll stand.
Listen, I don't have to do anything that you say, but I don't know what I'm
going to do.
So basically his, this guy's in-laws.
Do you know what we just did?
Do you know what we just did?
What's that?
We just did what this guy did.
Which is what?
We just fucking talked politics and gave endorsements to Bernie Sanders.
We shouldn't have done that.
I still haven't made up my mind that I'm going to do that.
Why are we, we're giving endorsements just by talking about it?
By saying that you're going to do it.
Well, that's how I feel.
We're like that guy that, fuck, we're like those, those people that you see on
Facebook and
they go, hey, do you know me?
I pretend to be a doctor on a soap opera and I think this is who you should
vote for.
I apologize for that, people.
I, I, I tried not to say that.
Eventually, eventually it was going to come out.
We're not endorsing anybody.
We're, well, let's just leave it at that.
I'll tell you what, I'm endorsing a nice fucking cold Budweiser when I sit down
to watch game
five.
That's what I endorse.
So what is, what does he want to know?
He's just sort of like, what the hell?
Now my, now my in-laws don't want me to have children with my wife because they
think
I'm evil and they're going to, I'm going to raise a little evil.
Trump's, my thing about Trump is his fucking lack of compassion for fucking
people.
When you sit there and say, take his coat, you're like riling people up.
Like that was just, he says the most, he says really, really awful things.
But the thing I like about him is he lets me know that they actually count the
votes because
no super rich people want that fucking guy.
And I always thought for years, my conspiracy theory is like, they don't count
these fucking
things.
They just, Oh, it's pretty fucking close.
And they put the money on both horses and then they're fucking fine.
But, uh, the fact that he's actually doing well, he's speaking to a lot of
people out
there need.
I, uh, he's going to build a wall and he's going to have the people he's walling
in pay
for it.
I'm telling you he's talking mad shit.
I don't know.
I feel like I, all those years of watching the apprentice and the celebrity
apprentice are
now coming back.
When he tried to find a CEO for a company that doesn't exist.
It's all coming back to bite me in the ass.
I've been supporting him this whole entire time.
I'm partly to blame for this bullshit.
So what is this kid?
Well, look, he can't be a complete moron.
What is this kid saying?
What is his point?
He just is.
No, he's just saying what, what the fuck?
So I was, we just.
Well, you will not talk about politics anymore around your in-laws.
I don't tell you that much.
But then he said, looking forward to seeing you in Dublin, myself and some
friends will be
coming from Belfast.
Well, I'm going to be doing Belfast, too.
So you don't even need to do that.