Name: Bill Burr - Bill Did Not Go To Beyoncé Concert
Uploaded: 2016-05-17T14:30:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bill Did Not Go To Beyoncé Concert' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bill Did Not Go To Beyoncé Concert' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-17. Transcript available.

by the way i had a great weekend down and uh before i get to this i got an hour
to fill so
don't worry about it um i had a great weekend i've just been in a real slump as
far as writing new
bits just because uh my life is ground to a halt here it's like you know i'm
not going out i'm not
doing anything like my wife went to the beyonce concert last night at uh at the
rose bowl and i
was actually thinking i should have gone because there's no way i wouldn't have
got a bit out of
that i would have felt old i would have felt stupid i wouldn't know what the
songs were and she come
out whipping her weave around and there'd be something i could talk about right
um but instead
i went down to the comedy store i did a couple of shows and um i actually went
out this is a lot of
comedians that are out there and i was just so sick of doing the same and
trying to
make it work i just every once in a while if you just go out there
and uh you're just not thinking anything and you just start fucking talking
it works way better and it breathes new life into all your jokes i just kind of
went out there
and um which is a very terrifying thing to do when if you've never done that
in stand-up because you really feel like you're uh
you know do you remember in like the matrix when keanu reeves they're trying to
convince him to
fucking step off that building and he's not going to fall to his death all he
has to do is believe
isn't it was it that movie or was it fucking battle star galactic moonraker i
don't know what the
one of those space movies right it wasn't even space but sci-fi um he had to
like believe it and if you
believe it then you're fine if you if you don't believe it you actually fall to
your death this is
sort of one of those things but of course you're not going to die you're just
going to you know
metaphorically die on stage is is basic stepping off the building is basically
just leaving your act
behind and just fucking just talking so i just went out there and i just
started riffing on the fact
that i made a smart move by not going to beyonce because you know when i went
to lady gaga with my
wife um you know i fucking i mean she was mad at me for like three fucking days
after that one
in defense of me which there really really is no defense i watched the patriots
we lost i think to
uh the ravens in the playoffs during the day so i was already drinking i
already had a good six pack
in me and then uh we took a car service to fucking lady gaga and we went on the
thing and it was uh
it's you know i'm all about seeing the band i want to see the drummer and all
that type of and
she on this tour for whatever reason it's her tour it's her choice whatever she
had him in like this
house there was a house and i couldn't see the drummer there was like a window
i could kind of
see his hands a little bit a little bit of his head and that was it and it was
just like what the
i want to see the band and um i can't it was so long ago i don't mean what the
but i just
started telling that story how i pissed her off and then if i went to the beyonce
thing you know how i would i would just you know you know when they sang like
that independent woman
song and everything just the dirty looks i'd be giving most of the women there
knowing that they
were full of and that they shouldn't be putting their hands up in the air you
know
it was just a smart move that i didn't go and my wife still has never gotten
over my behavior at
the lady gaga concert to the point that i actually asked her to come on the
podcast to talk about the
beyonce concert and she just goes no and i tried not to laugh i tried to hold
it together i go what
do you mean no she goes what do you think i'm a idiot no she goes i'm not going
on the podcast and give you
giving you uh an opportunity to start trashing beyonce i'm not going to trash
beyonce okay
i have to admit she started showing me video clips of the concert and she had
it like the way she was
holding she was we were on the couch so she snuggled up next to me so she's
holding it kind of low
to my you know near my stomach and like three times i started laughing looking
at the uh
looking at the clips um and look dude i know she's way more talented than i
could ever be i
i don't even remotely put on a show like her but there's just something funny
to me about when
everybody dances in unison and they have that you know that angry look on their
face it's just the
funniest it's just like what is your what is the problem they're coming up they
got their arms out
you know and they're doing that little thing with their head and their feet are
running
uh it's just i can't i can't even dance like the nerve of me to laugh at it but
it always strikes me
it's just it's absolutely ridiculous something it's i understand why it's
awesome and people
appreciate it but it's also really funny to me i should say i don't know why
maybe you know what
i'm just a cunt don't listen to me so whatever so i made a great move by not
going to that concert