Name: Bill Burr - Advice: Dating An Older Guy
Uploaded: 2016-06-14T00:30:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Dating An Older Guy' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Dating An Older Guy' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-14. Transcript available.

last one here we go dating an older guy oh um hey bill i'm a 22 year old female
from slovenia
slovenia modal thank you for the podcast it makes me laugh out loud uh which
not many things can do
that's fucking great i would love to go over there at some point also that
eastern european
tour is gonna fucking happen i just have to have time in my schedule um because
all of those
countries i've never been to from fucking lithuania and fucking astoria
whatever the
fucking that other one is up there all the way down through uh romania and back
up all i know is is
if i can fucking somehow get over and see all those countries get a bunch of
different
stamps on my passport i'm into that shit plus i heard one of those places like
prague or something
has all those uh art deco all that art deco furniture that all the places over
here they
order it from for nothing and then jack it up over here what do i do buy a desk
over there and
ship it fucking around the world like i'm gonna save any money that's a stupid
idea anyways i'm 22
years old okay i would love to hear you take on my situation i'm a university
student and i play sports
professionally here in slovenia uh keeping busy working out about eight times a
week my first coach
since i was like 12 years old is now my really close friend oh my god his name
isn't woody is it
he's since moved on to couch coach internationally i almost said couch coach
internationally but we
still keep in touch he knows me from when i was a little girl and he used to
always tell me i was
like his younger sister but i but recently i noticed he switched his approach
gross he's a 35 year old
single guy oh my god the fucking red flags i can barely see the type here
anymore and he only comes to
slovenia in july through august we were always able to talk for hours tell
failed attempts at dating to
each other and generally get along better than i have ever gone along with
anybody in my life so far
he's always made me laugh compliments my personality and how good i look but
never in a creepy or disturbing
way okay all right my experience with guys my age was never like that i'm not
trying to say i'm too mature
for them but i would always compare them to him and they would mostly bore me
and connection was never
there as much as it is with him i feel like boys my age are pushovers at least
those i had experiences
with and i feel they couldn't offer me in a relationship more than this older
guy offers me in just a friendship
uh yeah and also when you're 35 this guy's going to be 50 so there's also that
and then you're still
going to want to go out and he's going to be ready for nap time so uh
know that too and he's 35 he's almost out of the league if you're an athlete
you know what i mean 35
that's when you're going to start taking the illegal drug it drugs you know to
hang around for next a
couple seasons right anyways she says anyways we are hanging out a lot during
this summer and i feel
more and more vibes and attempts from him he takes me out to eat and drink he
is always asking me
somewhere i i know he's putting the moves on me my issue is that i now i know
we are in different
stages of our lives i know he wants to get married have children too fuck this
guy fuck this guy fuck this
guy you're 22 you got the whole life ahead of you when the fuck did he start
hitting on you
yeah now this isn't fair this is like shooting fish in a barrel you've known
him since he was
you were 12 no no no stay away from this guy
this is how i know this guy's a creep because even i wouldn't do this okay
fucking walk away sir stand down i most certainly am not ready for anything
like that uh children all that shit she's saying i like to go i like to drink
go out my friends
getting compliments from guys all to soothe my self-esteem which is not fully
developed yet
exactly i'm still finding myself and i know you will interpret this as i want
to fuck around no i
don't but this is not really the case i actually want to find a right person
and fall in love well
you're very mature for your age actually 22 i'm dodging his attempts and
usually laugh him off
when he puts the moves on me get away from this guy i don't want to read this
it's making me
uncomfortable
yada yada yada yada yada i don't give a fuck fuck this shit fuck this she said
sorry if that was hard
to read my english is a little rusty your english is tremendous um yeah stay
away from this guy all
right um i can't even if that was so disturbing to me that i can't remember if
he's still currently your
coach um anyways i feel more vibes wait a minute wait where the fuck is this
thing i gotta find my
first coach since i was 12 he's since moved on to coach internationally but we
still keep in touch
all right i don't know when the fuck he moved on uh but what was he he's no no
no no no no yeah fuck
that all right listen this is what you got to hold on to okay the fact that you
feel the way that you
do and you're 22 years old there is somebody out there your age that is like
you and if it was easy
to go out and find love everybody would find it all right but the problem is is
you know you gotta you
gotta go through a bunch of mistakes first all right so um i don't know you i
don't know him but
this is not the person you're gonna settle down don't don't fucking do this don't
do it all right
he's got way way too much of a mental advantage on you at 35 and 22 and he
could really fucking hurt
you um i say you deal with the fact that you find guys your age are not mature
and um you're gonna run
to somebody who is you sound like you're really good looking you're into sports
right you're getting
these compliments when you go out so you probably have like these fucking uh yolo
douches hitting on
you which you need you know what you need you need a nerd i think you need a
nerd go find some
fucking kid that likes to read you know so he probably has an idea to build an
app whatever these
fucking kids are doing that's what you want to do you don't want to go around
with your 35 year old
creepy yeah i really want to get married and have kids oh do you do you that's
why you're hitting
on a 22 year old you piece of yeah that guy that guy all right uh i would uh
yeah stick with people your own roughly your own age all right and that's
coming
coming from an older creep like me, so you know it's good advice.