Name: Bill Burr - Woodrow Wilson / Federal Reserve
Uploaded: 2016-06-28T00:29:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Woodrow Wilson / Federal Reserve' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Woodrow Wilson / Federal Reserve' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-28. Transcript available.

I went in to get my head fucking shaved the other day, right?
And I went to this barbershop, a real barbershop.
One where you walk in and there's fucking men in there, right?
Rubbing their hairy chest.
No, I'm kidding.
There's men in there and you just fucking go in and you sit down until it's
your fucking turn.
Unlike these fucking goddamn hipster fucking things.
They got the little fucking, what do you call that barbershop?
Little swivel thing that goes around.
To me, that says I can just walk in, right?
And then you walk in.
There's nobody here.
Can you shave my head?
Oh, do you have an appointment?
Dude, look at me.
How long is it going to fucking take?
You don't want to make an extra fucking 20 bucks?
Huh?
You don't?
Ah, go fuck yourself.
You know?
You fucking 28th president of the United States fucking haircut.
Who is that, by the way?
Who is the 28th president?
Nobody ever talks about the 28th president.
Let's look it up.
Let's look it up.
28th president.
If I had to guess, I'm going to say Grover Cleveland.
Uh, 28th president.
Calvin Coolidge.
What the fuck?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, the cunt himself.
Woodrow Wilson.
Woodrow Wilson, who signed the fucking Federal Reserve Act.
And, uh, we're all still paying for it today.
You know what's a good one to look up?
Woodrow Wilson's letter of regret.
What are the fucking odds I would have said that to send me down this
conspiracy theory?
Woodrow Wilson letter of regret.
All right, where is it?
Where is it?
Did Wilson, did Woodrow Wilson regret handing America to the Federal Reserve?
Woodrow Wilson, after creating the Federal Reserve, said, let's see, here we go.
I have unwittingly ruined my country.
I don't even know how to pronounce that word.
So maybe he didn't.
All right, this is what he wrote.
I am a most unhappy man.
I have unwittingly ruined my country.
A great industrial nation is controlled by its system of credit.
Our system of credit is concentrated.
See, they always got to write it so sophisticatedly, I can't even understand
what the fuck they're
talking about.
Like that thing, Dwight D. Eisenhower, when he gives that speech about the
industrial military
complex, I watch that over and over again.
I have no fucking idea what he's talking about.
Even it's explained to me before I watched the speech.
And by the end of it, I don't understand it.
And I feel like he said it that way, either because he was so fucking smart, he
couldn't
relate to the common man, which I don't understand because he had all those
soldiers, or he said
it that way because he had to say it in a way that he wouldn't get offed.
Right?
I don't fucking know.
Anyways, he said, the growth of the nation, therefore, in all our activities
are in the
hands of a few men.
Again, this is a president, a former president wrote this.
Okay?
So I don't want to hear any of you guys saying, oh, conspiracy theory.
Go fuck yourself.
It's just like when I told you that the NBA was fixed, and then there was the
mobbed up
ref, and you guys all tried to wiggle out of it.
And what did they say?
Oh, yeah, there was just one of them.
Oh, yeah.
Was there?
There was just one of them?
All right, we have to come to, we have come to be one of the worst ruled, one
of the most
completely controlled and dominated governments in the civilized world, no
longer a government
by free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and the vote of the
majority, but
a government by the opinion and duress of a small group of dominant men.
Well, there you go.
He still didn't quite fucking say what he did.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, God.
They got, they got fucking, you know what?
They did Woodrow.
They put Woody from Cheers, their version of Cheers, or their version of Woody
from fucking
Cheers.
They put them in the office.
What am I even talking about right now?
Yeah.