Name: Bill Burr - Groups / Future Killers
Uploaded: 2016-06-28T00:34:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Groups / Future Killers' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Groups / Future Killers' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-28. Transcript available.

all right irish news headlines what's going on in ireland roy foster britain
cosigned to margins
by the stupid party i don't know what that means mary robinson is that's not a
real name
mary robinson is that an alias
brexit could have a domino effect what the fuck is brexit isn't this shit trump
got in trouble for
that's what i loved about trump this week when he fucking went to scotland and
he goes yeah
just like scotland we're going to take our country back because i guess scotland
was voting about
whether they still wanted to be a part of the european union and uh scotland
overwhelmingly
agreed to stay part of it evidently i don't know and trump went there and didn't
know it
and i was reading like what everyone was saying and it was you know trashing
donald trump and it
was so similar to what people write to me every week john sally isn't dead you
fucking moron
i said the wrong name i didn't mean john sally you know what what do you what
do you want for me all
right uh former president president of what mary robinson she was president of ireland
you know what she's a lovely lady i'd vote for her when the fuck was she
president
former president mary robinson has said that young people in the uk must feel
very let down by the
outcome of the brexit brexit modal referendum and she appealed to the eu to
remember its core values
what other vague shit did she say jesus christ can you help out an american
here what the fuck's going
on over there christ is this some bullshit i have to know when i go over there
some sort of referendum
should the united kingdom remain a member of the european union or leave the
european union what's
going on with the european union the eu what happened you guys formed a super
group but now all the egos
are getting in the way what happened huh greece's fucking economy went down and
all of a sudden it's
fucking with you guys you never do that never join a fucking group take it from
a complete loner who
does stand up right you don't join a group you know what i mean you use a group
okay what do you
guys do oh yeah you cater parties all right i'm having a party i don't want to
join your party operation
i'd like you to come over here and uh tie some balloons to some fucking lampposts
could you do that
and how much would that cost and here's your check and get out of my life that's
how you do it
why the fuck would you go ahead it's actually amazing that they got it done
you know what i mean considering all the fucking wars they've had over the
years you know
fascism communism fucking whatever the fuck we're called i don't know what the
fuck we are
how the did they do all that why did they do all that that just all comes down
to bankers what was
wrong with having the pound and then the fucking ireland had the shillelagh
right what they have
in sweden i don't know what the they had some sort of thing look like that
design look like a little
sphincter i don't know i don't understand why everybody has to get in bed with
everybody else it's
going to be better it's going to create more jobs no it isn't no it isn't it's
just going to make the
people at the top make more money it's just like you know can we have more
people to in the
ass can we have some of your people what if we what if we combined all the
people right we
microchipped them we phased out money what if we did that right and now yeah
everything's on your
little microchip here right people getting mugged in the future is going to be
hilarious it's going to
be some nerdy kid getting dragged in by a football player he's going to grab a
bunch of dr peppers and
some zagnet bars and then they're going to grab the nerd's wrist and just keep
swiping it
making them pay for all this right if you're rich you're going to you can't
even go out of the
house someone's going to grab you and take you to a lexus dealership just have
a
fucking grab the guy just fucking just start scanning them oh that'd be great
you know what's not going to happen they're going to have you're going to have
like 50 oh my god this
is good there's going to be some going down if you get if you're going to have
a microchip in your
fucking body that has every fucking cent you ever earned that you didn't blow
on
fucking bud lights and hookers you know doesn't that make you like
what's going to stop somebody from just coming up and just sucker punching you
and then carving
your fucking microchip out of your arm right and then it's like they got an
extra life and then they
just have this fucking thing and they just start running around with tweezers
just scanning a bunch of
shit why wouldn't they just you know what they're gonna do they'll fucking chop
your arm off right
and then fucking hide your body okay you know like how they used to do that
like allegedly the uh
the westies they chop some guy's arm off and then they would go around
committing murders and then
they'd take the arm out of the fridge and they'd put the fingerprints on the
gun and then they just put
the arm back in the fridge it's if you get past the fucking humanity you know
it's really
really brilliant and slash borderline fucking hilarious um man i bet those guys
could tell
a story jesus christ you know the shit they did horrible shit but jesus you
have to be a funny
bastard on some fucking level i know you're out of your mind but there is
something fucking hilarious
about that you know and then the cops the you know when they were drinking the
cops are just like
this fucking guy he struck again you know they were laughing go dude you
realize we're inventing a
serial killer and they'd all be sitting there laughing their balls off and then
at some point the laughter
would die down is that they then realized like wait a minute we're we're kind
of serial killers
well we're all doing it it's a group effort you know it's not like it's one
person so yeah you know
whatever order another jameson