Name: Bill Burr - Email: Governor Gary Johnson
Uploaded: 2016-07-04T23:37:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Governor Gary Johnson' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Governor Gary Johnson' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-04. Transcript available.

Governor Gary Johnson. Hey, Billy Shatner. Billy fucking Shatner. I'm not a
libertarian.
I never said you were. I'd never been affiliated with any party. I voted both
parties in four
elections I voted in. I've been eligible for six. You sound like a blogger when
you're going to
criticize a comedian going like, I have a great sense of humor. You know, I
find this funny. I
love this and blah, blah, blah. But when I saw last night in a comedy club. All
right. So this guy's
established himself that he's open minded. All right. Because he says so. I'm
not into the fringe
candidates and I don't buy into conspiracies. I guess what I'm saying is I'm
not the typical Gary
Johnson fan. Not what? Because you say so. I guess what I'm saying is, well,
why don't you figure out
what the fuck you're saying? So you don't have to write extra words in a
sentence giving me more
opportunity to trip myself up, please. All right. However, I am a fan of his
and I think he could
actually win if he got on the on the debates. He's basically Bernie, who I
supported for the most
part. They I'm not a libertarian. Well, he was a Democrat, right? Well, he was
and then he became
a libertarian and then became a Democrat. Is that how it worked? I don't know.
I love Bernie Sanders.
Loved him. They align on 80 percent of the issues. His running mate is former
Massachusetts governor Bill
Weld. Bill Weld's still in the game like fucking Gordie Howe. Rest in peace. Wondering
what your
thoughts on Gary Johnson and also Bill Weld having lived in the state when he
was in office. Below is a
short campaign video of the two of them. Well, I, well, what the fuck? I don't,
I don't know.
I thought you were going to tell me about him. I guess I was supposed to watch
this before.
Dude, you just gave me homework. All right, let's put this fucking thing in
here
and we're going to try and watch it. Oh, shit. I'm running for president. I'm
running. I'm Bill
Weld running for president. I'm running with him. Jazzy music. As the governor
of New Mexico,
I vetoed wasteful spending 750 times, cut taxes 14 times and left the state. Oh,
why is he so breathy?
How would I know that? You just said that you did it. Now, how do I, I can't
fact check all of that.
I don't know. I mean, it's exciting. We're going to move the country forward.
Music.
Hi. Hi, I'm Jerry Johnson. Um, I'm sure he's a great guy. I'll look into it. I
mean,
I like that you're giving me other options because there's no fucking way I can
vote for Trump or for
Hillary. You know? Oh, we all know the old bag's going to win it. She's going
to show up with
lipstick on her teeth and that fucking maniacal wide eyed fucking smile. She
does.
Oh, she's going to carve this country up even more. They are fucking evil. I
swear to God.
If Trump wasn't such a fucking dope,
if he wasn't such a dope, I actually think he would be the lesser of two evils,
but I have to be honest with you. There's no way to listen to Donald Trump and
not think about
Martin Sheen in the dead zone.
Can somebody please Photoshop Trump holding up the baby, you know, when fucking
what's his face?
Um, Oh Jesus Christ. When Watkins up in the balcony there or the dead fucking,
uh, the birds are away
gentlemen. Um, I have no idea, sir. I, I commend you for, uh, being smart
enough to not vote for Trump or
for Hillary. It's a, uh, uh, it's a really low point. And I wasn't a big Obama
fan, but at least Obama,
at least, you know, the guy could speak intelligently, you know, after fucking
eight years of George Bush,
that guy was, that guy was like the presidential version of me reading out loud.
All right. I just, Oh God.
There has to be so many other fucking women out there that would make such
great, honest presidents.
Do we really have, why does it have to be the one with 52 pending felony counts?
Oh, those Clintons are filthy. Oh, Hillary Clinton. She's dirtier than her
husband's dick.