Name: Bill Burr - Sciatica / Stone Cold Steve Austin
Uploaded: 2016-07-11T08:58:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Sciatica / Stone Cold Steve Austin' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Sciatica / Stone Cold Steve Austin' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-11. Transcript available.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast for Monday, July 11th, 2016.
What's going on? How are ya?
Recording this 6.01 p.m. on Sunday, July 10th.
It's still fucking light as hell out, even though it's getting darker by the
day.
I'm in a great mood.
I think my sciatica is fine.
Sciatica!
I think it finally went away.
Like 90-95% of it went away.
That masseuse that I was seeing, who was fucking amazing, went to her again.
She beat the shit out of me.
And showed me this stretch for my leg.
I just lay on the floor and put my leg up against a doorjamb.
And it's been working fucking wonders for me.
And I really feel like I'm going to see her again next week.
I just keep doing that stretch.
Do all these other stretches.
She was telling me all of this shit.
You know, I need to strengthen my obliques because it's putting stress on my
lower back.
The whole fucking thing.
My back feels amazing.
And what's so great is my back has been fucked up for 30 years.
You know?
I did a podcast this week.
Not trying to drop any names, but Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The Stone Cold.
And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so.
I did his podcast.
We talked for like two and a half hours.
He's going to turn it into, I think, a part one and a part two.
And I was talking to him on that podcast how the first time I threw out my back.
The two times, three times in my childhood, I threw out my back.
Two of the times was doing wrestling moves.
All right.
One was the figure four leg lock, which I've told you before.
That's the first time I threw out my lower back.
Right.
And then trying to imitate Gary Valentine.
This kid was trying to show me how to do it.
He did it.
And everybody went nuts.
And he wouldn't fucking let me out of it because all the fourth graders started
flipping out
like it was the WWF.
Right.
And then when I was like in seventh or eighth grade, or maybe the beginning of
high school,
I tried to pick my little brother up over my head like Tony Atlas, his
finishing move.
And I swear to God, like three quarters of the way up my spine, it felt like it
folded.
And I just had to kind of drop my brother, drop him down on the fucking ground.
Fortunately, there was wall to wall copping in because it was left over from
the 70s there.
But anyways, yeah, so my back has been fucked.
And then I was playing just pick up football and I fucked up my lower back.
And for the last 30 years, if I ever fell asleep laying on my stomach, like I
woke up in unbelievable pain
and had to literally like just slide down the side of the bed, get on my back
and just start doing stretches
for a half an hour to get it undone.
And that has gone away.
And the sciatic thing's gone away.
And I guess I had no fucking idea.
I thought, you know, like I stretch, you know what I mean?
I get a massage once every couple of years.
I thought I was all right.
But I guess all the way down the right side, I probably shouldn't do this.
If I lose my health insurance, I'll just have to just splice together on my
podcast to get
all my pre-existing conditions.
That muscle that runs down your entire right side, that whole thing was spasming.
And then like half of it on the left side, the muscles in my fucking left thigh
and left calf.
Dude, she fucking slammed her elbow into the back of my fucking leg and was
bringing it up.
It literally felt like my leg was going to fucking explode.
But it's actually, it's been way better.
And like today, I just, I don't know.
I just kind of felt something, everything kind of like freed up.
And I'm just going to keep going to these people.
And I'm going to try to get my back is, I had no idea how fucked up it was.
I'm psyched.
And all these people going, dude, you know, you got to go get an, just go to a
doctor.
You know, these chiropractors are this, these masseuses are that.
Just go to a doctor, get a cortisone shot and fucking get an operation.
And I was like, fuck that.
The last place you ever want to get an operation on is your fucking back.
As far as I've seen.
Like, you remember when they were operating on Bobby Orr's knees and they just
was scooping shit out.
Next thing you know, he was like bone to bone at like 27 years old.
I feel like, you know, as far as they've come with knee surgery, like back
surgery, they're still in those Bobby Orr years.
And I just don't want to risk it.
I would never do that.
So I'm happy that I was able to do it in a non-evasive way.
And it's literally affected my mood in like a positive way.
So I'm so psyched about that.
But as I mentioned before, Stone Cold Steve Austin's podcast, he's got a
podcast.
And I could not believe, I don't want to ruin anything that we talked about,
but I could not believe the similarities of wrestling to stand up.
As far as listening to the crowd, you know, not getting them all the way too
high before you're going to get off.
And building up your time.
Like, that's a big thing when you're like a comedian starting out, like you're
doing 10 minute sets.
And then one night somebody tells you to do 15.
An extra five minutes doesn't sound like a lot.
But that's like you coming up with another 50% more of your act, you know.
Does the math work out all right in that?
I mean, five minutes is a lot of fucking time.
And he was the same thing.
He would wrestle for like eight fucking minutes.
And then one day he moves up and they go, all right, give us 20 minutes.
He's thinking, what the fuck am I going to do this for 20 minutes?
Um, but of course, you know, we don't get the shit kicked out of us, but, um, I
will definitely retweet when that thing is going to be on.
I had a great time with him and he, in the, in the best way possible, he is
exactly like when you see him, he's just completely no bullshit and all that.
And, uh, he wants to learn how to fly a helicopter.
So we talked about that.
We just went on and on and on and fucking on.
And we just, it was just fucking awesome.
Uh, great guy.
And, uh, definitely was beyond cool that I got to meet that guy.
So I'll, I'll definitely tweet that when that shit is coming out.