Name: Bill Burr - Homeless Naps
Uploaded: 2016-07-19T14:10:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Homeless Naps' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Homeless Naps' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-19. Transcript available.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast.
For Monday, July 18th, 2016, what's going on? How are you?
I hope you're good. I hope things are well.
Is everything okay with you and the family?
Anyways, this is the last week of writing for F is for Family.
You know, we got a table read today and then tomorrow we punch up, you know,
fix whatever jokes didn't work at the table read.
And then on Wednesday, we record it. And then I get my life back.
So fucking excited. So fucking excited to have this behind me, all this frigging
work.
And I'm very excited for you guys to see this thing.
Granted, it's animation, so it'll come out sometime fucking 2036 or something.
I don't know. Well, that's how it works. That's that's how the process works.
But I know the big thing is actually writing the scripts and we're finishing it
tomorrow after the punch up.
And then I'm done. I literally I have the same giddiness I used to have.
Remember, like the second week of June, which is even the fucking nerds didn't
give a fuck anymore.
All right. They weren't cleaning their glasses. They were just showing up. They
didn't give a fuck.
Right. Your teachers were dressing casual. Everyone just was. Yeah, it's over.
It's over. Let's get the fuck out of here.
You know, it's unbelievable.
I don't you know, that's why, like, sometimes when I look at homeless people,
because everybody just wants to get the fuck out and nobody, you know, you
still want to work.
And every once in a while you look at like these fucking bums and I don't mean
like people like something tragic happened to them.
You know what I mean?
Well, I don't know, like some sinkhole swallowed up their fucking home and then
they didn't have sinkhole insurance.
And now they're fucking, you know, sleeping at a bus station.
I don't mean those people. I mean, the bums, the old school hobos, the guys out
there riding the fucking railroads.
Right. Let's stick with a handkerchief around it with a little peanut butter
and fluff another sandwich inside of it.
Those guys, they got to figure it out.
They always feel how I feel right now.
You know why? Because they never have to go to work.
It's always over.
It's always over.
And, you know, what do you do?
You go to a new town.
You wash some dishes.
Next thing you know, you know, you're eating beans over a fire outside, you
know, eating them with a knife or some shit.
You know, is that how they used to do it?
Or is that just what the actors used to do in those old movies, trying to make
an interesting choice?
I'm going to eat with my knife.
Maybe that'll make me the next John Wayne.
Yeah, they have it fucking figured out.
You never done that?
You never just walk down the street in the middle of the day, in the middle of
your fucking stressful day, you're coming back from lunch wondering mentally,
how the fuck am I going to get through the next four, four and a half fucking
hours?
And you just walk by and you see some homeless guy just fucking just napping,
laying on a park bench or even on the sidewalk and just so fucking sprawled out
and just in such a deep level of sleep.
Yeah, it actually looks appealing for half a second.
You know, I'd love to interview one of those people and just be like, who won
the Super Bowl this year?
Just to see how out of the loop they are slash how big are sports?
You know, do you know who Tiger Woods is?
Do you know what happened to him?
You know, are you aware that we're at war right now?
Still?
Where were you when it started?
Were you behind a desk?
Were you normal?
You know?
Did you have a suit?
Did you sit there and laugh at jokes that you didn't think were funny but just
doing it to try to get to the next level fucking cubicle?
Is that what you did?
At what point did you just decide, fuck this?
I want to take a nap when I want to nap.
Can you imagine if you were allowed to nap whenever you wanted to nap, how much
better the world would be?
You could just be at work and just be like, you know, I'm going to go lay down
for about fucking 20 minutes.
Just go over and curl up in a fucking ball and that'll be it.
You know?
What I'm trying to say, people, is I'm very excited.
As much as I enjoy writing these fucking things, it's just great that, you know,
I'm looking at my dog right now.
Just fucking chilling out.
Just fucking laying there.
She's laying there.
She's, I don't even know why she's tired.
I'm fucking tired from all your goddamn sleep and I'm jealous of you, Cleo.
Cleo!
Nothing.
She knows I'm talking about her, but she doesn't give a shit.
She's fucking tapped out.
She's laying on the rug.
There's a little bit of sun spilling in from the window and she picked the
sunny, warm part of the rug and that is it.
That's all the fuck she needs.
You know?
No upward mobility.
She's not working on her next fucking season of, you know, fucking the real pitbulls
of the greater Los Angeles area.
She doesn't give a fuck.
She's got nothing on her agenda every day.
It's fucking tremendous.
Maybe that's why their lives are only 10 to 15 years, you know?
They just get to live like all, you know?
Because when you look at your whole life, if you're lucky, you get 10 to 15
years total of just bliss.
And the rest of it, you know, it was just dealing with some cunt with coffee
breath telling you you didn't have enough.
You didn't bring the right fucking forms.
You got to go back home and go get something else and stay in line again.
That's what the rest of your life is like.
But if you're lucky, 10 to 15 fucking years of it, you know, you get to live
like my dog right now.
Taking a nap on the sunny part of the rug.