Name: Bill Burr - Advice: Professor Dickwad
Uploaded: 2016-07-26T14:08:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Professor Dickwad' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Professor Dickwad' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-26. Transcript available.

professor dick wad hey bill you hemoglobin laden erythrocyte i had to look all
of that up that's
basically uh see i have a lot of red in me a lot of red blood cells i guess let's
make this as short
and sweet as possible hey all right why are you fucking don't lecture me you cunt
um i go to a
nice college i also manage a movie theater in my town too you why would you say
also and too
i manage a movie theater in my town also or two two and also mean the same
thing right i also
manage a movie theater in my town too comma two all right at school i've got a
film you said you're
gonna make it short and sweet at school i've got a i got a film studies class
with one of those
pretentious fucking professors that wears young kid clothes to come off cooler
than he really is yeah
you know what that means he's gonna fuck a student i love movies i've seen
plenty of them
that's the reason why i'm taking this class well that's great gravitate to what
you want what you
want uh every time before we watch a movie in this class the professor asks us
to raise our hands if
we've seen it before i raise my hand almost every time then i look around to
see if anyone else is
raising their hand they rarely are sure i'm a nerd i've seen the fucking movies
maybe if you didn't play
the most standard choices like casablanca and shit i wouldn't raise my hand
every time look at that
you like movies you're doing your homework you're taking a class on it you're
gravitating towards what
you want very nice all right so anyway i was just recently hired i was just
recently hired on an employee
dude you're killing me i just recently hired on as an employee you left out the
as at my theater um
who also happens to be a student of my film studies prof
oh you went by an employee so anyway i just recently i was just recently hired
by an employee
at my theater who also happens to be a student of my film studies professor but
in a different class
at a different school i i think i conveyed what you were trying to say there as
a joke one day i asked
the kid so does mr so-and-so ever talk shit about our class the kid looks me
square in the eye and says
yeah actually he does dr so-and-so says there's this one kid in your your your
all's class you mean
y'all's class who always raises his hand when he asks if he's seen the movie
but really he probably
hasn't and then he looks around the room to make sure everyone is looking at
him to know he's seen the
movie before that's hilarious this guy's getting insecure you're making your
teacher insecure so
now he's got it oh jesus that's probably why he's wearing the young people's
clothes he's talking shit
about the other class to make himself seem cool ah this guy's a fucking this
guy's a bitch i don't like
this teacher he goes so there we go this guy talks shit about me to his other
classes when i all i'm
doing is generally raising my hand after being asked if i've seen the movie or
not in any other
case i'd probably just confront him about this but i don't want to risk failing
the class or something
petty like that am i overthinking this what should i do here i'd walk right up
to the guy
i just who gives a fuck this fucking insecure cunt
he'll probably give you a better grade because with his need to be like just
walk right up to him
yeah listen man uh there seems to be some confusion on your part that you seem
to be trying to work out
with the other class as to why i raise my hand every time i happen to love
movies i work at a movie
theater okay and i've seen all these movies and i look around just to see if
anybody else has seen the
movies because i love movies and i want to talk to people about movies if you
don't want me to keep
you know raising my hand stop doing this paint by numbers basic horse shit
movies that you keep
picking what are you gonna have next week days of thunder huh
you're giving me shit you're gonna come in here dress like you're going to a
fucking
yeah i don't know what are the young kids listen to ah you just go see the
weekend
is that the right thing who's the other guy who's the rapper who won all the
fucking grammys
kendrick lamar i know who they are i don't i know a few of their songs
i know the weekend's cd starts off going
you can actually play the beginning of the weekend i think rednecks do it as
much as they probably don't
like your skin color they probably play that when they're out duck hunting
to try to get the young ducks you know we're into all this fucking
i'm fucking with you i i am a fan of the weekend it was
it was hard during that last joke i went on apollo