Name: Bill Burr - Advice: Dad Won't Quit Smoking
Uploaded: 2016-09-13T00:09:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Dad Won't Quit Smoking' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Dad Won't Quit Smoking' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-13. Transcript available.

All right. Dad won't quit smoking. Oh, Jesus. Your dad will not quit smoking.
What the hell's
wrong with him? He's going to kill himself. All right. Hey, Billy Red Nuts. My
dad's been smoking
since he was 14 years old, and at 62 years old, he recently had his second
heart attack.
Jesus Christ. The doctor has told him flat out, if you want to live, you have
to stop smoking.
Yeah, I would think so. Even after hearing this, he lit up a cigar five minutes
after getting out of
the hospital. I got into a huge argument with him about it, and I told him, if
he didn't give a shit
about his health, then I shouldn't care either. We didn't talk for months. Wow,
dude, this is fucking
heavy here. We've tried reasoning with him. We've tried yelling at him. We've
tried guilting him with
the don't you want to walk me down the aisle routine. None of it works. To
clarify, he smokes cigars
every single day, all throughout the day, so it's more than an occasional puff.
His diminishing health
is visible in his everyday interactions with us. It's harder for him to breathe.
He can't, is he
inhaling? He can't walk as fast as, or as far as he used to. He can barely play
with his grandkids,
and his face has aged immensely since the last heart attack. Every time I get a
call from a family
member, I get anxious that it's going to be the call, telling him my dad has
had his last heart
attack. I'm constantly on pins and needles, and it's really starting to affect
me. Yeah, I would think
so, uh, as someone who has struggled with certain vices yourself, what finally
made you feel like you
wanted to limit your intake? Uh, is there a way I could get through to my
father and get him to quit
for good, or should I just accept the fact that we all go someday and let him
enjoy himself for the
limited amount of time he has left? Thanks, and go fuck yourself. All right.
Wow. Um,
all right. What makes me want to limit my intake is because I don't want to end
up being like that.
Um,
but I, and I also, I don't know. I don't like having shit have control over me.
You know what I mean? And, uh, I also found that like, when you're just
constantly smoking a cigar,
you know, if you smoke too much, like they, they're not special anymore.
Like it's great when, you know, I like now just planning a cigar night, like a
couple of weeks away.
Like, uh, the absolutely fucking hilarious Bert Kreischer is, um, one of the
great guys you could
ever hang out with, forget about smoke a cigar with, he's trying to organize a
cigar night.
And, um, I already have it circled on my calendar. I'm excited. I'm thinking
about what cigar I'm going
to have, but like when I just, you know, have a whole box of them and every
night I'm just going
out there smoking, it's just, you start smelling like a cigar. It's bad. It's
like, you know, if I'm
drinking every night, I don't know. It's just one of those things where I don't
like the way I feel.
I don't like the way I feel when I wake up in the morning and I know it's bad.
I know it's aging me.
I just know, I know it's bad for me, but with your dad that he's been doing
this for so fucking long,
um, I would definitely, I would be livid at my dad if he was doing that and I
would be unbelievably
frustrated and I would continue obviously to try to get him to stop because you
love your dad, you know?
However, there does come a point where it's just like if the person has
resigned themselves to this
is what they want to do. I mean, if he just had his fucking second heart attack
and the doctor's going,
listen, you're going to die if you don't stop smoking and he walks out and
literally just lights
up a cigar. Um, obviously he's a complete addict and, but I don't know, he's
not fighting it on any level.
So, um, I don't know, depending on how exhausted you are, I know myself after a
while, I would just
say, you know what? Fuck it. Um, and it would suck because when my dad, if my
dad died like that,
I would, there would be a definite level of resentment and anger that I would
have
at him. But I just think maybe the piece you can find is that he's addicted. He's
an addict and this
isn't your father making this decision. It's, it's the chemicals and all of
that shit that makes you,
makes you do this. That's really unfortunate, man. There's really nothing funny
in there.
Um, Jesus, I was going to smoke a cigar tonight too.
Um, I guess that fucking that's out the goddamn window. Jesus Christ.