Name: Bill Burr - Patriots | Matt Cassel
Uploaded: 2016-09-20T01:22:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Patriots | Matt Cassel' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Patriots | Matt Cassel' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-20. Transcript available.

and next thing you know i got the game and um let's be on site i got to watch
the whole second
half of the uh of the patriot game when the dude from nc state came in um wait
a second
let's see what's his name patriots nc state qb um what's his name oh jacoby brissette
came in and did a great job he marches right down the field we go up like
fucking 35 to fucking three
or 10 or whatever the fuck it was at that point 34 was that what it was 31 31
that's what it was it
was 31 to uh to like 10 or some shit like that and i'm just like oh this is
fucking great
this is great we got it we can cruise now and then all of a sudden the dolphins
just start coming back
you know they start marching right down the fucking field and it's just like
the classic nfl it's like
is any lead big enough i know that we got our third string quarterback who's
now our second string
because tom brady is inactive what the fuck blah blah blah blah but um long
story short we ended up
pulling out the win we're fucking two and oh and guess who lost again the colts
lost again can you
believe this you know it's almost like the football gods are are weighing in i
feel the fact that we're
two and oh without our starting quarterback without our second string with our
third string we win
you know granted we played the fucking dolphins you know they're uh they're in
a way right now obviously
you know so i don't know i'm just i'm so fucking psyched i'm telling you right
now if we go three
you know and the colts go oh and four i know our schedule is going to get a lot
tougher and um
but anyways you know what's funny so once we went two and oh this buddy of mine
called it he was just
going like dude you know as long as this is before you know garoppolo got
injured he goes i if he goes
two and two that's fine i just don't want him to go four no because any of
every fucking dope out
there is going to be like you see it's just a system you could put anybody in
there and they will
win which is basically what boomer boomer fucking esiason said
he even said that it's it's it just boggles my fucking mind some dope tweeted
that to me you know
like they sit there and they look like beating a rebuilding team during the
second
fucking week of the season is the same as being down with a minute and a half
left in the super bowl
you know the time when other people fucking puke up their campbell's soup
you know other people who are shaped like a pencil who crush it in november
fold during that
fucking time you know there's very few tom brady's out there very few eli mannings
eli manning you want to you want to beat eli manning play him in september
he's like a sleepy dog just laying on a point it's it bores the man
what is this a regular season game we got another 14. wake me up when the
playoffs are at stake
then all of a sudden the giants gotta win the last six games and then that guys
he just see fire in
his eyes well he who's kidding who he never has fire in his eyes he just i don't
know what the
fuck he does he knows how to turn it on and to fucking sit here and disrespect
tom brady like that
and this is another thing too they always have the stupid matt castle analogy
like matt castle went in
and he went 11 and five can i finally debunk that okay for all you fucking
fantasy football
buffalo wild wings wearing a jersey dopes out there who high five gallop
sideways he's on my fantasy team
i activated him today here's the thing for the 90 millionth time the whole matt
castle thing
matt castle took over a team that went 16-0 in the regular season
was one get one get one play away from going 19-0 the next year he's on their
center they went 11-5
and for you dopes out there who can't do math he won five less games okay there's
sit and missed the
playoffs that's what he did with an 18-1 team he went 11-5 missed the playoffs
thank god we didn't go 10-6
do the math fantasy football play in dopes he would have gone five and eleven
all right you guys don't remember when he got he got traded to kansas city
and then all of a sudden became mortal again you don't remember that and i know
what you're gonna
say well they didn't have bill belichick as a coach he was playing with lesser
players
oh i got an answer for you joe montana
joe montana went to the kansas city chiefs and you know what happened when he
went there
the kansas city chiefs went to the playoffs all right you morons
here's the deal mick jagger needs keith richards bill walsh needed joe montana
all right
and bill belichick is not gonna win a super bowl with garoppolo at least not in
the first i mean who
knows what that kid can do but at least not in the first it's so stupid i'll
tell you
right now i mean belichick is so good you can put anybody in there they're
gonna win
because we beat the dolphins the second week we're two or no oh that's it that's
it somehow now we're
never gonna lose a game again so you know that chatter is gonna happen because
there's there's
buffalo wild wings people all the way up to guys like dan shaughnessy he's
gonna say it
you know thank god garoppolo got hurt because dan shaughnessy
you know the benedict arnold of boston sports he's oh there's that man lives to
try to stir up
a controversy to distract the hometown team he doesn't give a you know what i
mean he's he's
like skip bayless before skip bayless it's just you just listen to the man it's
just like dude you're
just literally just saying aren't you um so i'm glad to finally get to address
that stupid matt
castle thing okay no disrespect to matt castle he was a solid quarterback but jesus
christ to
act like well hey i mean if you had matt castle or tom brady the patriots still
go to six
winning four out of six come on come on people you know the reality is is what
it is is you hate
the patriots and if there's any remote angle for you guys to criticize the
patriots you try and find it
and i'm gonna i'm gonna go even further i think all right 20 years from now
when they look back at
it and everybody can just let it go you know even like like the most harshest
red sox fan that hated
derrick jeter you know who's kidding who because the guy was great you know
even at the end of his
career even you couldn't hate the guy i think 20 years from now that's how good
looking tom brady is
it's going to take 20 years after he retires when they look back on the pettiness
and the
patheticness of and the level of this suspension you know i think in the end jim
ursay finally
is going to be exposed for the crybaby that he truly is