Name: Bill Burr - Playoff Baseball | Feetball
Uploaded: 2016-10-06T15:43:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Playoff Baseball | Feetball' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-10-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Playoff Baseball | Feetball' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-10-06. Transcript available.

Starting tomorrow night, take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd.
I don't give a fuck about the first 162.
I show up in October, oh that's what I do, and I root, root, root for the
fucking Red Sox.
If they don't win it's a shame, but they already beat.
The curse of the babe, and everyone was on roids, right?
That's why I left, I left in 2010.
I left in 2010 with baseball, I was just like, look, either fucking get it out
of the game, or make it legal.
But stop getting me excited about shit that you can say five years later, it
doesn't count.
I still love the game, who doesn't love somebody, you know, I love a pitcher's
duel.
That's how much I love baseball.
I like to keep score, I like all of that.
But, I don't know, from 98 to 2010, there was just too many fucking people that
I was just like, holy shit.
Holy shit, dude.
I'm watching a guy who is fucking with, you know, the greats of the goddamn
game.
And then like, you know, five years later, oh, actually, he was part centaur.
That doesn't really count, and should he or should he not be in the hall, right?
And then you had like, you know, people like Alex Rodriguez come along, and
they fucking, like, I mean, they got most talented fucking dude, you know, and
all of a sudden it's like, oh, he's on steroids, and the big fall of him or
whatever.
And then I love, the guy comes back, he hits his 600th home run, and I'm in New
York City, and there's video of this, because I know I posted it somewhere.
On the cover, they were giving shit for the Patriots, for one of their trumped
up fucking horse shit, ticky-tack charges of us cheating.
And then on the back, they were giving Alex Rodriguez love for hitting his 600th
home run.
It's only cheating if the other team does it.
So anyways, very excited for playoff baseball.
You know, that's my favorite time.
Everybody's all bundled up.
They get the extra microphones at the ballpark.
Joe Buck's calling the game.
What's not to like?
The games fucking matter.
Of the four major sports, there is not a fucking sport out there where it
matters worse if you lose a game.
When there's 162 fucking two of them, it just, it doesn't fucking matter.
You know, and the fucking slave labor that these people have to go out and play
162 fucking games is just like,
I mean, baseball's got to, how the fuck does football make more money than
baseball?
You would just think collectively.
Like during the height of the steroids era, which is a great argument for
steroids.
I mean, the ballparks were packed.
You know what I mean?
I think, you know, all of these people around the world who are just confused
at why America could give a fuck about soccer.
Right?
Or feetball.
It's what it should be called.
You know what I mean?
I love whoever the fuck came up with that on Twitter.
Because what do you call football?
You can pick it up.
Well, why do you call it football?
You can use both feet, right?
Isn't it feetball?
You want to be a cunt?
We can be a cunt too, right?
Here's the deal.
If they would just fucking roid these fucking players up, okay, we're there at
center ice, but it's a field,
and they could just tee one up and fucking blast it into the back like fucking
Al McGinnis back at the day at the blue line.
You know what I mean?
Fucking Paul Coffey skating down towards his old goaltender, winding it up,
going fucking top shelf.
If they had some people fucking doing that.
Somebody said that to me one time.
I was in Fenway, and then we were talking about how we're just not into soccer.
And the dude just goes, well, we have soccer here.
It's called hockey, and it's a lot faster.
And whenever I watch soccer, like I see that.
Look, I understand there's a beauty to that game and everything, but you know
what the reality is,
is I just don't have time to watch another sport.
I mean, I've gotten a little behind with the F1, you know?
I haven't seen the Malaysia race yet, but I was able to go back, and I watched
the Singapore race,
which was cool as shit because it was at night.
And then I watched the beginning.
Was it the beginning of the Malaysian race where that fucking Hulkenberg guy
just got fucking hit?
And the whole side of his car got taken out?
What a fucking buzzkill that is.
But anyways, I know Nico's, no, he came in third place.
That's right.
And then Force India.
Didn't they win the first two?
I got to look it up.
What was it?
The Red Bull team.
I don't fucking know.
But anyways, I think Japan's next.
And then do they go to Austin?
Austin, Texas.
I think that's what it is.
Yeah.
Which that's, I obviously, I should probably go to that one next year.
Book myself out there in Austin.
Go out there, check it out.
Hey, man, it's a like stock car racing.