Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Lingerie
Uploaded: 2016-11-15T05:45:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Lingerie' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Lingerie' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-15. Transcript available.

all right hey billy nipple slip i recently started dating this girl and we've
been messing
around for a few months now congratulations she's pretty cool and a really
sweet girl and sex is
great with her all right trifecta however she's been doing a lot of lingerie
shopping and wants
me to go with her one day so we can shop for her lingerie together uh
personally i never got the
point of lingerie nor am i a big fan of it um really you just like when they
just show up with
like your fucking old basketball shorts on you're one of those guys as long as
there's a pussy
underneath it i don't give a fuck all right personally i never got the okay uh
didn't see
the point of buying something that was meant for you to take off almost
immediately after you put it
on all right sir this is the thing about all right so you're you're uh you're
one of those no foreplay
guys all right if you really want to take it to the next level dude like you
ever you ever make a meal
and you set it down and you turn your back to the stove to set the pan back
down and when you look
back they're already halfway done with it and you're like what the fuck did i
do all that work for
um i would let her buy that it makes her feel sexy right
and then you know gets her all even into the you know the mood a little bit
more
telling you do you're striking me as somebody who never takes the downtown six
if you know what i mean
he's just fucking rips the clothes off puts her on her back and it turns on the
fucking tv all right also
i'm not that great at faking my reaction when her or her girls have broke out
their sexy lingerie
you know what dude uh you're an asshole you really are an um and that could be
a good thing you can
you're gonna get what you want in life but uh you're gonna miss out on a lot in
life um it's even give
got me in a great got me in trouble a couple times the girls i've been dating
for the most part have
been pretty sexy but when it comes to lingerie i just think it makes things
awkward that is the most
overused word on the planet it's the default emotion of these this entire
fucking world now
i don't even know what the word means anymore it's been applied to everything
everything's
awkward i don't know what that means same goes for things like sexting role-playing
vag and tit picks and anything else that's kind of puts you on the spot for
things involving sex
is it weird that that stuff does nothing for me no it isn't but it should make
the other person feel
like an asshole uh should i try to do my best to you know what i i preempt i
shouldn't have called
you an asshole this early because now you're asking questions all right i
apologize i'm wrong
all right i should should i try my best to continue pretending that my wiener
isn't shriveling up like
a sock when you pull the strings out the strings out of it oh the uh the lingerie
huge fan of the podcast i
haven't if you haven't yet please come out i'm not gonna say where he's from
just in case his girlfriend
recognizes this um
you know dude you could just kind of go along with it a little bit like look i
think like just saying
you're not into sexting and in in role-playing and that's like next level
if you're not into that that's fine okay um but lingerie i think is a simple
thing you could put a
happy face on i mean as much as guys think the lingerie is for them although
and for the most part
the way women dress like guys oh look at her she's hot she wants it i mean they're
dressing for themselves
they like to look pretty all right it makes them feel good so i think the lane
yeah can you come in
for a second she's giving me a look here come here oh jesus she literally
walked by stopped and look at
me all right so this guy this guy is uh oh my god it's 10 36. i gotta get off
my day so this guy
could you look less enthused yeah you shot me a look i thought that meant you
wanted to come in
i'm just listening but go on what is it what are you henry hill i'm just
listening
what is it what do you want me to say then my wife two times me all right so
this guy he's with
this great girl she's cool she's sexy the sex is great but she's into wearing
sexy lingerie
it does nothing for him she wants to him to go along on it and like he thinks
it's just stupid
so she puts it on and she pulls the strings like ba-da-da boo and he said i'm
supposed to
sit there and act like my dick is not shriveling up like a sock what what
should i do you don't think
he doesn't think lingerie is sexy he's just done it he goes i don't understand
the point of just buying
that and i'm just gonna take it off like two seconds later okay it makes her
feel good just go along with
it it's not gonna kill you that's my advice yeah it's just just go along with
it it's now he said
what about like sexting vag and titty pics he goes i'm not into any of that or
role-playing
you are so boring whoever wrote this in
he's really just it's like a job
fucking prude and you're so boring like loosen up a little bit send a dick pic
to your girlfriend
no that's a bad idea yeah i mean you probably should yeah you never you don't
you never send any of that
shit because it exists forever yeah he'd be the one person it would come back
to haunt him somehow
so maybe don't do that but just open your mind a little bit it sounds like you're
in a little
sexual box and maybe you need to no pun intended
no pun intended you need to break out of this box but yeah here's the thing
explore something
different and you know here's the thing on the dick pic near okay people think
okay i'm gonna send a
dick pic to you from my phone to your phone just think of the journey that
thing takes
my dick goes to outer space yeah goes off a satellite and comes back down god
knows how much
is between that and that i mean how many miles that thing just travel yeah and
to think that that's
just gonna go there and then if you're on like twitter or they say like can uh
we want permission to
have access to your photos and i i never say yes that's like you can have
access to this photo
you know mm-hmm yeah i mean all of a sudden somebody you know you have to send
your avatar
is your dick pic yes somebody else's avatar is your dick pic you have to send
the dick pic
delete the dick pic and then ask that person to delete the dick pic too no you
never send pics
what you do is say where are you i'll show it to you live like in the old days
in color yeah like
the old no satellite dick pics yeah um but yeah in terms of this guy i think he
should just kind of
open his mind a little bit like i said he seems a little a little brutish and
it's fine you don't
have to like lingerie and all that but i mean if your girl's into it and you
like her and she likes
lingerie like yeah what's the problem you know just like i said it's not i i
don't see any problem with
how do you not like lingerie i don't know that's what i'm saying it's boring as
i'm saying he wants
to show up wearing his basketball shorts he's just like just be naked that's
what i was saying you
know i was comparing it to like you know when you cook somebody a meal when
they
eat it in two seconds you're just like dude what the fuck like you do huh but
not in the bedroom oh
i do wolf down food you do huh but that's not the only thing you wolf ah jesus
christ jesus christ nia
why would you say that no that's disgusting you take your time a woman in your
in your condition
my condition in your condition speaking this way that's terrible what if other
people were to hear
it i know uh they think what would they think