Name: Bill Burr - Advice: Drama Queen Dad
Uploaded: 2017-01-03T23:04:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Drama Queen Dad' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Drama Queen Dad' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-03. Transcript available.

Drama Queen Dad, Dear Billy Red Nose, first off I'd like to say thank you,
thank you.
I'm a lady, oh my god, I have a female fan, in high school and lately I've been
listening
to your podcast whenever I'm stressed out or just looking for something to
laugh at.
Okay, now on to the story.
My father is a middle-aged man with bipolar disorder and likes to blame
everything on
his mental illness as he calls it.
I like that you're already taking him to task here.
He's going to blame everything on his mental illness.
Yeah, there's no reason to not do your dishes, all right?
All right there, loopy?
He's very dramatic and claims that his bipolar is the reason he hasn't been
able to hold a
job lately, even though he kept the same career for about 10 years and is now
working for a
new company.
My parents are divorced, so whenever my father can't have us over to visit, he
claims it's
because of his illness.
Ah, man, that's the greatest.
There's nothing like a fucking built-in excuse.
That's going to be great when I have a kid here in a few fucking days, minutes,
weeks,
whatever.
Ah, you know, I'd love to, but my kid, my kid's, yeah, I can't, I got a kid.
I don't want to tell him that bipolar disorder is not a mental illness because
he'd go ape
shit on me.
Is bipolar, I don't know, I thought anytime your brain was fucked up you had a
mental illness.
I have a mental illness with my anger.
Okay, bipolar.
Bipolar, is it a disease?
Well, let's see here.
Oh, just give me the fucking answer.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, fuck you.
I'm not reading all this shit.
This is the internet.
I don't want to expound it on.
Just give me the yes or no.
Is there a yes or no.com?
Can you just do that?
You just answer a, you ask a fucking, it's like, I don't want to know why.
Is this blah, blah, blah, yes or no?
And then you have your answer.
So then when you go to the bar and somebody says something, you're like, no, it
isn't.
Or yes, it is.
Yar, it is.
Do you know that bipolar disorder develops during a person's late teens or
early adult
years?
Do you know I didn't ask that question?
Never trust a fucking doctor with a goatee.
Where the fuck is, you know, oh my God.
Jesus Christ.
Look at these fucking eggheads.
They all got nice full heads of hair though.
I got to give them that.
All right.
Anyways.
I don't want to tell him bipolar disorder is not a mental illness because he'll
go ape
shit on me.
For some reason he seems to enjoy making me and my sister feel like shit and
makes mountains
out of molehills whenever we correct him or stand up for ourselves when he bullies
us.
Yeah, don't take any shit from him.
He sounds like an asshole.
What's even worse about this is that his bullying always works.
He's very manipulative and I'm scared to see him because of the things he said
and done
to me in the past.
Every time I'm, I'm informed, I'll have to spend the weekend with him.
I nearly pissed myself with anxiety.
My question to you is how the fuck do you deal with someone like this?
I know my dad is ridiculous and uses underhanded tactics to make me feel like
shit, but for
some reason I'm not able to just get over it.
None of my friends seem to relate to being so terrified of one person like I am
of my father
and I would like to hear your take on things.
Thanks for reading this and go fuck yourself.
All right, how would I get past it?
Well, this is the hardest thing to do.
You have to stop giving a shit about the guy to a certain level.
At some point, you know, if you have a parent like this, you have to look at
them and remove
mentally that they're a relative and you have to just say to yourself, like, if
this person
was a complete stranger, would I be friends with this person?
Would I interact with this person?
Would I waste another minute in my fucking life dealing with this person?
You know, and when you got to ask those questions, usually it's like,
absolutely not.
This would have been a fucking one and done situation.
But the thing is, is it is your dad.
So you can't write them off, but you have to kind of, that's the toughest thing
when you got
to write off a parent, but still interact with them.
You just got to be like, I don't know.
You kind of have to find the humor in it.
I think that's a tough one.
Especially at your age.
I don't know.
I would just, I don't know.
I would probably could do some passive aggressive shit where I would just say,
oh yeah.
Is that how it is?
Okay.
I'll get right on that.
You know, shit like that.
I don't know what to tell you.
I would just basically, um, I would still like, what is he going to do other
than get
mad?
He doesn't, doesn't sound like he hits you or anything.
So he just mad and he flips out or whatever.
And just, I stop.
Who gives a fuck?
That's what he's going to do.
The guy's out of his fucking mind, right?
Maybe he's got bipolar.
Maybe he doesn't.
Maybe it's a disease.
Maybe it isn't.
All you know, just.
Oh man, this is tough.
This is, it's fun.
This is a fucking rough one because it's your dad.
And the last thing you want to do is then go out in the world and start dating
somebody
who then treats you like that, that the exact fucking thing you don't want.
And then you end up with that.
And then you have that same nervousness in a fucking relationship.
That's all I can say.
You know what you got to do?
You're not going to be able to fix this guy.
You got to deal with him because he is your dad.
Um, but the big thing that you can do is in your life is you create a life that
does
not involve this.
All right.
You need to go out and go marry a fucking sweetheart.
Right.
And then your fucking house is great and it's peaceful and it's what you want.
And then every once in a while, this fucking tornado, tornado blows through and
you deal
with it and then it leaves.
And then you go back to your peaceful life.
Um, that's all you can do.
You really, as a kid, you really can't do anything about your parents.
You can't pick them.
You just get the ones that you get.
But, uh, the thing that you can do is create a life that does not involve that.
And then you don't do that shit to your kids and then you break the cycle.
Then that's it.
You know, but the weird fucking thing is, is that you're, you're, they're still
always
going to be in your life.
You know, so that lunatic will then be around your kids and it's just, it's a,
it's a motherfucker.
It really is.
But, um, fortunately they, for the most part die before we do.
And then, you know, you don't have to deal with them anymore.
So I guess try to find the fucking humor in it while you're dealing with it.
And then think of how exciting your life is going to be, um, by not having that
in it.
You know, you might want to just Skype with them for a while, get yourself in a
situation
and be like, what?
I think the screen froze.
Hello.
And you just click.
Um, but that's really, uh, that's disappointing to hear that an adult would
manipulate a teenager.
Forget about his own fucking daughter.
That sucks.
So I don't try that, but just know that you can go out in the world and have
any life that
you want to have, uh, simply by, you know, you know, he's showing you what you
don't want.
All right.
There you go.
Oh man, that's brutal.
You fuck, you fuck up so bad as a parent that your daughter goes out going, I
want to marry
a man who's the exact opposite of my own dad.
Whew. That's game, set, match. You fucked up as a father.