Name: Bill Burr - Racism | Trump
Uploaded: 2017-01-17T13:24:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Racism | Trump' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Racism | Trump' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-17. Transcript available.

oh trump gets sworn in this week you know he gets fucking sworn in and uh i
would feel so much
better about that guy you know it's it's not the racist people that he's
putting in there
you know as unsettling as that is i mean everybody's fucking racist you know
well that's not true there's different degrees of it but everybody has it even
people who are
victims of it they have it you look at another group of people you everybody's
done that you
look at a group of people you think something like oh it's like this and then
you go over there oh
it's actually like that wow why did i think that and it all was in your fucking
head you know i got
to do a bit about this i was driving down the street the other day right
driving down the street
and i see this group of young kids like school just let out right this is not a
good sign right here
i'm driving by a school right when the school got out and i'm caressing my
leather no i i'm driving
on the street and these kids are all outside like uh it's right around the
corner from where i'm
playing drums here's my alibi i swear to god i was playing drums around the
corner and um it's one
of those stores that sells like uh you know all the fucking snacks and shit
that you eat afterwards
you get all fucking wired so i'm driving by there and usually i get fucking
annoyed because the kids
are fucking walking across the street they're not looking both ways and all
that shit and then i it
takes me forever to make a fucking left or right hand turn well this day they
were all up on the
sidewalk and i saw this movement i kind of glanced over and none of the kids
were white and when i saw
this action i thought i was watching somebody getting the shit kicked out of
them potentially
getting uh beaten into a gang that's what my brain told me i was watching when
i looked closer
there was like seven kids standing around one kid looking at a fucking
smartphone and then some other
kids just sort of fucking you know doing whatever running around in the
background then i was thinking why the
fuck did i just think that you know so before you fucking call all these assholes
all these racist
assholes you know you got to get that shit out of your head i was thinking why
the fuck did i think
that part of that is from the shit that i see on tv right i think your brain
just goes it once it gets
stuffed down like how to make cereal it just gets it down like okay just grab
this fucking put this in here
and then you go fucking cereal you know it it connects from one eye one vision
to this this this and it's
like a mode of like survival which works but in that instant that didn't work
did it i went from that
to a couple of fucking ice cube videos whatever gangster rap videos are in my
head shit that i saw in the
news right i can't say there was fear there was no fear i was just driving down
the street and i looked
and that's what i thought you know but i kind of do that all the time you know
i read a kid's book to my
unborn daughter last night right supposed to make him smarter right and i was
reading this kid's book
and halfway through the book i realized i didn't i had no fucking idea what it
was about
so maybe i'm just a moron i have no idea but seeing how what a flawed fucking
person i am
i can't judge uh i can only judge people so fucking harshly right honestly i
mean i can trash a fucking
Meryl Streep i can go off in a Donald Trump but at the end of the day i'm a
fucking lunatic
right i read a kid's book and i couldn't figure out what it was about it was
about this fucking caterpillar
all right and they were like on day one it ate an apple on day two it ate two
pears
on day three it ate fucking three plumps right
so right there i'm like all right this is like reverse christmas story rather
than going like
seven swans are swimming six geese are laying it fucking starts with the
fucking tree
the partridge in the pear tree now it's moving up and it seems to me like it's
about eating healthy
and food and and counting and then it gets up to like 12 or something and then
and the thing just
completely abandons its fruit diet and said it had a a couple slices of pizza
uh and ice cream and all
this shit and then a big stomach ache so then i was like all right this is
about childhood obesity
and um i actually lied that it never dawned on me that it was about counting
and he was like i
finished the book the thing turned into a butterfly and i said i said the end
and i looked at me and i
said i have no idea what that book was about she laughed she goes it's about
counting i go it's not about
not eating junk food because it ate all that fruit and everything was fine and
then it ate all that
other shit and then it got sick and she was like crying laughing at me i don't
know what that has to
do with trump but i really wish that idiot would get off of twitter but he's a
mess he said about china
it's time to take the gloves off he he's doing that george bush thing where you
talk about other countries
like you're trying to psych somebody out before a bar fight and nothing gets
people more excited you
know what that gets morons excited like yeah let's have some tough talk right
you're idiots
he's like trashing snl because they're doing sketches about him it's just like
i don't i don't i don't
he cannot be running his twitter account there's no way he's this sensitive
um or has the time to do this shouldn't he be addressing it my my worst fear
is that he's going to become president and just deregulate everything so he can
build a golf course
wherever the he wants to like that's really that's his idea of making it great
again i i i hope i'm
wrong i have no idea um having said all that still as much as he's a nightmare
unbelievably unbelievable
joy watching hillary lose oh i love seeing yeah pack your bags okay pack your
bags they're
yeah i'm not gonna say it all right let's let's let's continue on all right let's
uh
i'm off the rails here all right 42 minutes in can we uh can we read these last
two
advertising then i'll do your questions for the week um all right helix helix
hey by the way why
don't you guys send those in send in your i looked at this thought it was this
way and then it was
another way but nobody heard me say it so everybody thinks i'm a great guy and
that goes for non-whities
too because i know you're looking at us or some other group of people koreans
or some
shit or whatever you know i know you're thinking something all right helix helix
all right you're
you're unique and i actually you know as much as i'm i'm not really joking
around about this
shit but i think that people have to be able to say that they have those
fucking thoughts i mean this
fucking uh progressive left thing where you have to act like you're just
walking around going i don't
see color i don't care if you're black white green or purple and it's all of
those all of that
fucking uh sing-songy horse shit um even those people even those people like
you get them in the
wrong situation and the fear comes up they're gonna think something up they're
gonna um all right so if
you have any of those stories i want to hear i want to hear and then i'll try
to i'll try to guess
why you think that way okay so i'm guessing with mine it's uh the news and all
the gangster rap videos
that i used to watch and i'm i'm old so that was back when you could actually
have a gun in the video
and then also i think i've watched too many of those life on the inside prison
things
you know what i mean all of those things where you just look at it and going
like i would last
15 seconds in there i've watched all those ones about gangs i've watched the
ones about motorcycle gangs
it's probably my uh my intake of of of television and youtube videos i watch
videos of people sucker
punching people um bully fails i watch a lot of violence yeah that's it maybe
that's what it is all right