Name: Bill Burr - Fatherhood Will Not Change Bill
Uploaded: 2017-01-20T15:22:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Fatherhood Will Not Change Bill' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Fatherhood Will Not Change Bill' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-20. Transcript available.

um so anyways i haven't been doing shit um no kid yet so you know we're coming
right up on
going full term so i think uh you know we're gonna have to induce or something
like that but
either way most likely you know barring some sort of like a miracle
i should be a dad next week i think it finally goes down that all right and
then my whole
perspective changes what are you guys gonna do if i really you know there's
some people
that have kids they don't fucking change at all and then there's other people
that have kids they
change which i think you should right but what do you guys do if i just fuck if
i go off the fucking
rails you know i stop cursing i stop saying cunt you know what i mean i find
god i reevaluate
everything that fucking remotely makes me funny nothing nothing
for a third time nothing robs you of all your humor like finding your savior
you know what i mean all of a sudden you give a shit about people
you know you have empathy you put yourself in other people's position
now i've seen it i've seen it in the past i've seen i've just seen two i've
seen musicians i've seen
comedians i've seen all of that they find god they get away from what the fuck
got you got you to the
goddamn dance all right it ain't happening with me i'm calling it right now
what do you think i'm you
think i'm gonna start reading i will read when i become a dad you know i'm
gonna read these kids
books which evidently i don't i don't even get i guess that caterpillar one's a
classic book i never
saw i never saw that one when i was a kid i liked make way for ducklings i
liked where the wild things are
um and that was it that was the two books i liked and other than that i liked
fucking football cards
and uh not doing my homework that's what i enjoyed hey dad what did you enjoy
most about
your childhood uh blowing off the assignment and the challenge of pretending
that i did it
uh the next day in class that's what i remember enjoying the most i like
drawing on desks
uh getting in trouble going down to the principal's office with a friend was
always fun by yourself
was a lonely experience you know sitting on that bench waiting to go in there
william come on in for a second uh mrs uh roustabout uh said that you have that
can they do all that
shit you just you're just standing there going like why are you talking to me
like i can actually plead
my case and you're gonna be on my fucking side oh i didn't look at it that way
evidently the teacher
was wrong just give me the fucking detention you fucking cunt