Name: Bill Burr - Email: Dog Wins Marathon
Uploaded: 2017-01-24T16:14:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Dog Wins Marathon' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Dog Wins Marathon' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-24. Transcript available.

dog wins marathon hey billy probably a dad i am i'm a father now which means i
now get to fucking
act like i know things that people who don't have kids know don't know or
whatever you know
they do oh you don't understand you don't understand your babies looking in
your eyes
shut up you didn't wear a condom all right that is your fucking big
that's what that's what you did all right stop acting like you walked on the
moon
oh do you have a baby oh my god what is there 12 billion of those fucking
things
it's like saying you have a hat all right dog wins marathon hey billy probably
a dad thought you like
this story um but it's my hat thought you'd like this story a dog left its
house and started running
a marathon and ran alongside runners and finished the whole thing he finished
seventh congratulations
get the fuck out of here now i have to watch this video he ran the whole
fucking
no he didn't
lutevine lutevine ran the entire 13.1 miles without a leash or human companion
okay first of all 13.1
miles is not a marathon oh half marathon sorry see how the misinformation
starts
he fucking called it a marathon and then i start blaming cnn
dog wins marathon he won half a marathon see you already started the lie
dog gives cpr after running a fucking marathon
uh runners in alabama may have bitten off
more competition than they anticipated in a race earlier this month all right
now it makes sense because
i was like who what kind of a fucking dog owner would leave his front door wide
open and the goddamn thing
just runs out it runs fucking 13 miles away
oh obviously somebody in alabama
a dog finished in the top 10 in the elkmont
half marathon the trackless train trek
on january 16th and has been
quite the internet sensation what is a trackless train trek
there used to be train tracks there
was this the underground railroad is this is how the slaves got out of there
yeah you know we let them they escaped up this way but we could we blocked it
off now we just do a marathon
white people only marathon i love the act like like i do it too like
racist white people are only in the south that's not true we're everywhere
um ludvine a bloodhound lives nearby and a bloodhound oh i fucking love those
that's not a bloodhound
oh yes it is but when it runs its face is all flying backwards so it looks like
a fucking retriever
that's one of my favorite dogs ever
ah god damn it's making me miss my dog all right let's plow through this
blood vine a bloodhound
lives near by the way update on cleo is uh the new owner sent me a fucking
picture and it was up on the couch
sleeping like a baby loving life probably doesn't even remember us because it's
a dog and it lives in the
fucking present and uh so that was that was good to see but when i saw it i was
like oh
fuck um anyway she competed without a human or leash her owner doesn't even run
that's what makes the story you know what i don't like this story
i i don't like this fire i don't like this is one of these just like let's just
go
oh all together isn't it there's a nice heartwarming story for everyone