Name: Bill Burr - Crazy Parents
Uploaded: 2017-04-04T17:18:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Crazy Parents' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Crazy Parents' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-04. Transcript available.

uh but the other night i was doing that uh april foolishness for uh kevin and
bean who i want to
thank for having me on that we did it down at the uh the shrine auditorium so
you guys like the
birds chirping in the background somebody mentioned to me that's fucking
hilarious listening to me
going off on shit with birds chirping i usually don't do uh um do my fucking
podcast in this room
i just do it because it's the furthest one away from my daughter who's sleeping
you know
i don't want to hear me dropping all the f-bombs so anyways the end of the show
comes
right and everybody's shaking hands oh you were great no you were great no i
like how your mind
works no i like how your mind works better you know we're all doing the hollywood
thing right
everybody had a good set and uh once again i ran into one of these crazy
fucking parents
right this is fucking hilarious this is what this person did they said oh
congratulations on your
daughter i said oh you brought it up you brought it up now i gotta show you a
picture right
so her and her husband is standing there right the young young people right
they look like they're
single they don't even look like they have kids and i i just show them the
picture and she just goes
oh yeah it's so easy you see it's so easy it's so easy she started pointing my
kid going it's so easy
i'm like what the fuck is she talking about i've heard she's adorable she's
cute oh my god look at
those cheeks she's oh yeah it's so it's so yeah see you see it's so easy i'm
like what do you mean
it's so easy she goes she goes we have three we have three it's so hard you
have no idea it's so
and just she used my daughter's picture as a way to launch into how fucking
difficult her life was
first of all it's like how fucking difficult is your life the two of you look
like you've been p90
exit me you guys don't have an ounce of fat on you you don't have bags under
your eyes it's saturday
night you're out at a show neither one of you yawning and they were going yeah
we had one and then
and then we got pregnant again and we had we had and i was going like oh and i'm
sitting there trying
to be empathetic oh yeah you know i hear uh i hear two is like a game changer
and then three it's like
you're outnumbered she goes oh no we went from one right to three like we had
we had we had twins next
and two kids i don't even know what that feels like we we don't even know what
that feels like it's
just like you know what you don't know what if you don't know what it's like to
be in a fucking log
cabin with no fucking heat like they had 200 years ago it's fucking hard the
fuck out of here
i swear to god like i people like that it's just i just feel bad for their kids
it's like you have
to be you got to be a fucking terrible parent what kind of person has a kid
right and and all i do
when i see other people's kids is i just think of how much that person must
love that kid they have
to feel the same way that i do about my kid and then i'm happy for him who the
fuck looks at somebody
else's kid and just and compares like oh it's so it's so easy yeah see it's
easy
and then i go yeah you know well we're thinking of having another one
and then then the guy goes yeah just have one don't have two more first of all
like you can control it
oh they drive me up the fucking wall i fucking i'm gonna say it i fucking hate
parents
generally speaking i cannot stand them they're like they're like fucking martyrs
they're like these fucking it's like you put yourself in this situation
shut the fuck up you have three people that are gonna be sad when you die
they're actually gonna give a shit and they're gonna show up and say how great
you are
it work isn't that enough oh it's so hard you have no oh really with ipads
in fucking 200 channels of cable you can put them in front of a fucking plasma
tv it's like looking
into a a tropical fish tank all day for him yeah they're soft you know i mean i
i don't know i
just oh god there's so many times in my life like i wish i could just go back
like that i'm just
believe it or not i'm great in the moment on stage i'm so bad at it when i'm
off stage
you know what i mean i'm just you know because i immediately just get to this
anger level and then
i end up looking like a psycho like i wish i just said that to him like you
guys sound like terrible
parents do you want to put your kids up for adoption so maybe you can go back
to doing blow
or whatever the it is that you miss
oh it's so easy it's so easy it's so it's like why would you say you don't have
any
idea imagine if i had a special needs kid and you're pointing at it saying it's
so easy what
the is wrong with you oh that's right you're completely self-involved
oh i felt good to get this out oh jesus i'm glad i didn't say it i'm glad i
saved it for the podcast
but wouldn't the podcast be better if i actually started saying these things to
people so then i
would have the confrontations and then i could just maybe i could then do a two-hour
podcast
hey who knows who knows