Name: Bill Burr - Chafed Balls
Uploaded: 2017-04-14T14:32:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Chafed Balls' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Chafed Balls' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-14. Transcript available.

Oh, by the way, Mia, did I tell you about that great band I saw the other night?
Oh, you mean the one with Dave Elitch?
Yeah, the guy I've been taking drum lessons from, you know, one of the best
drummers in the world right now.
Shout out to Dave Elitch.
That's right. He plays drums in this band called The Night Game, and they have
a new single out.
If you want to check it out, it's on iTunes. It's called The Outfield.
And I saw them play like a quick half-hour set the other night right over at
Capitol Records,
right across the street from that. Remember when I walked over and then had my
issue?
Have you talked about your issue?
I've been doing cardio like a madman.
Maybe some readers can tweet you some advice about this.
I've been doing cardio like a madman with, like, Jordan shorts on, and I don't
know what happened.
My balls, my ball, one of them was just, I just did too much walking in one day,
and I had a little chafing issue on one side of the old bag there.
And it did not infect my enjoyment of the band, because I walked like, it's
like a two-mile walk over there or something, right?
What are you doing? You're looking at me or you're looking at her?
Two miles over and then two miles back, and after I'd already done an hour of
cardio.
So the next day, I was walking like I rode a horse for, like, six weeks
straight.
But anyways, I went over and I saw this show, and they have a singer, Martin
Johnson, amazing singer,
and then two killer guitarists.
I hope they say these names right.
Kieran Jay, there you go, Kalilin, Max Bernstein, and then they had a guy
sitting in on bass, Andrew Parusi.
And, dude, they sounded fucking amazing.
It's really like poppy type stuff, but the level of musicianship, how great
they all sounded live.
Definitely check it out.
Once again, it's called, the name of the band is The Night Game, and the single
is The Outfield, and that is out right now.
So.
Can we talk about your chafed balls?
Huh?
Oh, it's done.
It was just, I was one and done.
It was one day of uncomfortableness.
Oh, you're okay now?
Oh, yeah, I'm good.
I'm good to go.
Okay, because I was suggesting that Bill get Gold Balms medicated powder,
because I just felt like that was just something that you just dust on your
balls a little bit.
He kept saying, you know, like, when those great chefs put the powdered sugar
on top.
Yeah, the confection sugar on it.
Yeah, you do that little p-p-p-p-p-p-p on it.
No, I think that's-
Just dust your balls a little bit to keep them-
But that's not for chafing.
It's not?
No, that's-
But I thought they were rubbing-
That's for people who have itchy balls.
Oh.
If you have itchy balls-
And they're sweaty, and so therefore it's kind of like a combination-
It's a culture, like you're going to make bread, but it's your balls.
Ew.
Bread balls.
That's disgusting.
No, this is just, yeah, chafing.
You know what I mean?
Gary Chafing.
All right.
She's chiming in here.
The third mic.
Anyways.
Who thinks it's funny?
Anyways, yeah, so that is, that is-
Is there anything you want to give me shit about?
My balls are better than-
It was only one of them.
Good.
Well, I mean, I'm glad you used what I gave you for them.
And I'm also like a, a, I'm like a plane, you know what I mean?
Like one of those big jet planes, they can lose one engine and still fly.
So I'm fine.
Gotcha.
Just letting you know.
Why was it only the one ball?
I don't know why.
Is one ball bigger than the other?
Is that why it's like rubbing a little bit more?
No.
Is it like how, you know, women, your boobs are different sizes?
No, it probably has more to be with my awful posture, my back being fucked up
and one shoulder
in front of the other one.
I'm just a mess.
From all this years of hanging on to the anger and not stretching, I'm just a
twisted up mess.
But I tell you, I have been stretching.
I've been going to a chiropractor and a masseuse regularly for almost like a
year.
And had I not done that, God knows what would have happened.
I probably would have lost a nut.