Name: Bill Burr - Advice: Terrified Of A Threesome
Uploaded: 2017-04-17T10:36:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Terrified Of A Threesome' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Terrified Of A Threesome' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-17. Transcript available.

Terrified of a threesome. Hey, parentheses, insert cheap redhead insult here.
Huge fan, love your stand-up, and efforts for family. Thank you.
I'm a 21-year-old college student who has a girlfriend that is bisexual and
beautiful as well.
God bless you!
Woo! God bless you, sir. God bless you.
There's no way you don't believe in God, man. God bless you.
We've talked about asking girls to join us in bed and are finally getting ready
to have it happen.
The girl that's joining us is a girl that the both of us have gotten with in
the past at different times.
Ah! This is perfect.
The only problem is that I get freaked the fuck out when I think about this
happening.
Both of the women involved are hot and experienced, which is what scares me.
I'm not that astounding-looking of a guy, not that well-endowed as far as my
dick goes,
and not experienced at all.
Are you going to talk yourself out of this, dude?
And not experienced at all compared to these girls.
How do I get past my fears and relax enough to be into what's happening
and make sure I make it worthwhile for both these ladies?
Thanks.
And go fuck yourself.
Dude.
Do not fuck this up.
Okay?
The only way you can fuck this up is to not show up.
Just show up.
And let nature take over.
Okay?
It's all right to be freaked out.
You're 21 years old.
You got two fucking smoking hot chicks.
Want to fucking bang you at the same time.
That's a lot.
That's rock star shit.
I don't know what you do for a living, but I'm guessing you're not a fucking
rock star.
So yeah, this is fucking great.
This is a great goddamn thing.
You know, and if you want to, I just tell your girlfriend.
Just be like, yeah, I'm excited and I'm a little, I've got to be honest here.
I'm a little nervous.
You guys are both so, but just keep painting about because they're so beautiful
and all things.
She'll be like, don't wear your locks.
Just follow my lead.
Just do that.
Just be open and honest about it.
But don't take it to the fucking point that you're like, don't say all that
other shit.
You know, I'm not the best looking guy.
I could have had a bigger dick.
Then she's going to think, well, what the fuck am I doing this with you for?
Don't go that far.
All right?
Here's the thing, dude.
You're definitely good looking enough.
You definitely got a big enough dick or none of this shit would be happening.
Right?
Okay?
You got called up to the show.
Okay?
Get up to the plate and swing out of your fucking cleats.
I would let them start.
Let them start.
And then you just kind of fucking, you know, work your way in.
That's all.
Just start making out with both of them.
That's it.
Get some fucking, I don't know.
I don't know.
Just, just please.
Please, dude.
Please.
For the someday 48-year-old you who will probably be doing a podcast by himself.
Okay?
Please don't fuck this up.
Okay?
Don't, do not talk yourself out of this.
You're getting in your fucking head.
All right?
You've already gotten with both of them.
She obviously likes your dick.
She's coming back for more.
Your girlfriend's still there.
This is just like, this is something else, dude.
And this is a great experience for you to push past all that fucking low self-esteem.
All right?
So, man the fuck up.
Have a great time.
Follow up email, please.