Name: Bill Burr - Taking Care Of Yourself | Fair Enough
Uploaded: 2017-06-02T06:35:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Taking Care Of Yourself | Fair Enough' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Taking Care Of Yourself | Fair Enough' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-02. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you that's right i'm not
yelling it i'm
fucking up my voice doing that every goddamn week i'm starting to drink throat
coat tea
i need to take care of myself in these next this next chapter as i peel off
another layer of the
onion whatever stupid artistry thing no i've just decided you know a few people
in my life you know
i'm kind of seeing it i'm seeing it i'm seeing what living a certain lifestyle
leads to and i'm
like you know what i need to clean up my act a little bit all right it's time
to grow up and uh
so one of the first things i'm going to do i'm not cutting out the booze or i'm
just going to stop
yelling i'm checking in on you you know it's baby steps you know when i'll
gradually work towards
laying off the heroin you know but i like it it helps me helps me go to sleep
you know the amount
that's what i'm doing you know i always want to take a nap when i'm standing up
outside in public
and i just can't do it because my mind just won't shut off you know that's that's
when the heroin
comes in that's when it comes into play you're gonna have to listen to my phone
ding dong and
because i got a phone call coming up and i don't want to miss it here um
anyways let me see here uh
oh jesus now i'm gonna be looking at text messages message messages messages
while i'm trying to do
this podcast this is really gonna fuck with my add here how's your week going i'm
gonna tell you
something right oh but oh billy boo's bag all right i had i had family info
back east some of you guys
guessed the movie by the way um it's something you do with a car you can't
figure it out now i can't
help you um but what i love is now everybody knows what the movie is but they're
still gonna attack and
tweet me like is it is it you know the long long long trailer starring lucille
ball um
why don't you guys ask me if it's every other movie that you can do with the
car other than the
one you know it is how about that how about switching it up a little bit is it
herbie goes
to monte carlo you know i realize all these years i've been using that as a
reference like
because it's the one of the first or second movie i saw i saw for the love of
benji
then i saw herbie goes to monte carlo and my mother was just like my mother
told me
you know i just those kids movies were stupid i wasn't going to take it any
more of those you know
basically there wasn't anything there for her and she just was looking at like
you know
there's really nothing here for these kids it's a fucking talking car it's a
talking dog you know
how long are we going to keep the lie going all right the fat fuck doesn't come
down the chimney
dogs don't talk and the vw beetle it's a it's a it's an economical car but you
know
at the end of the day it's not respected so that's it let's go see stripes um
anyways uh
completely forgot what the fuck i was going to say there
how the fuck did i get to that i have no idea do i need to go on i need to play
some brain games
is that what it is what the fuck was oh eating more healthy i don't know what
it is oh yeah so
the family back east i got it i got it we're back right every of those outtakes
on casey casem when
he flips out screaming yelling now god damn it i'm not fucking reading about a
fucking dog died
you know this is basically like those outtakes except i i don't edit them out
and i also don't
have his iconic success
yeah other than that i think it's the exact same thing but anyways i had family
coming family kill
me twice in this past month and um i had to take him out to the spots we had to
drink a little toast
for the little one huh little nene dude she's laughing her ass off now it's the
greatest thing
it's the greatest thing ever um could not be enjoying it more and it's june's
first
and for the first time in my life i'm someone can actually look at me
and say happy father's day right and i don't have to be like oh my god
in what comedy club did you work
how old is it um anyways no i was never like that on the road i was a good boy
sort of i had my moments anyways plowing ahead here um so because they came in
i kind of got off
my diet i was still doing the cardio every day so i stepped on the scale and
the unaccepted
unacceptable second number in my world is eight okay if it's ever a nine i'm
telling you right
now i'm going to jump off a building um i won't do that i'll just buy really
comfortable i'll keep
wearing the golf clothes that i wear they'll just get bigger you know i was
getting to the john daily
line um so uh i'm back on it i'm back on it jumped on the scale today 178.8
still unacceptable
i have been having the worst time trying to get down to my fighting weight i
wanted to be 172 by my
birthday my 49th the end of the 40s wrapping it up if i was a professional
athlete i would be 10 years
retired unless i was tom brady with my sinewy muscles or whatever the he's
doing with his spongy
muscles um i don't know what he's doing sorry i'm drinking the throat coat oh jesus
bill you're
just annoying on so many different levels today i apologize um so anyways i'm
just i'm gonna try to
just lay off the booze for a little bit um i'm going to san francisco uh this
weekend and uh i'm working
with my dino my dean martin joe de rosa okay so that's gonna be that's gonna be
a mulligan that night
joe my friendship with joe de rosa and his friendship with me is one of the
great friendships
in show business history and it's all it's all alcohol fueled you know i don't
think we've ever
hung around each other sober and i don't think i got to get him on the podcast
i really got to get
old joe de rosa whatever his background is egyptian italian he doesn't know
that man was left at a
doorstep of a funny bone way back in 1977 i believe he showed up out of nowhere
a baby nobody wanted
he came out of the womb already wearing those dark framed glasses
um that's sad that's sad um anyways plowing ahead
i'm sure i'm gonna hear about that from old joey um i'm guessing two drinks in
hey dude there was
something i want to talk to you about it's i know you were just joking but you
know to bring that up
it's really um him he trashed my dog on stage oh that's coming out fourth
drinking i'm trying to
guess where the argument is going to come from this weekend while i drink with
joe we really don't
argue anymore once i discovered fair enough you know i grew up a little bit he
grew up a little
bit and that's all we do we start to argue and then one of us just goes hey
fair enough we laugh and
it just diffuses everything fair enough fair enough can stop wars you know what
i mean
this is our borderline no we think it's that hey fair enough fair enough i
understand why you would
think that but i mean you know fair enough well are you gonna give it to us
well yeah i didn't say that
well i'm gonna start shooting i think fair enough yeah that's what you feel you
need to do
it just diffuses the other guy then the other guy's standing there going like
no you're supposed to
you're supposed to get mad then you get mad and then i get mad and then i lie
to my people and you
lie to your people we dehumanize each other then we start shooting
stop saying fair enough all right fair enough