Name: Bill Burr - Girlfriend Has Severe Halitosis
Uploaded: 2017-07-18T13:59:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Girlfriend Has Severe Halitosis' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Girlfriend Has Severe Halitosis' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-18. Transcript available.

all right girlfriend has severe halitosis jesus christ the women are getting
destroyed
ladies ladies you got to write in next week okay you got to write in next week
okay
stop being sweethearts and tell me what the problem is with the guys this is
this is not
fair and balanced like fox news is or cnn um i love that chick that cried on cnn
the one with
the mary lou rettin haircut when trump got elected it's just like it was one of
the most
unprofessional journalistic moments i've ever seen in my fucking life how did
we go from walter
cronkite to that like i literally know who you voted for you're not a
journalist all right hey
there op-ed piece all right girlfriend has severe halitosis dear billy bats i
saw you perform at
hilarities in the land the worst fucking nickname the land the land of what jesus
christ that's so
fucking bad and you had me in stitches please come back the land they had t-shirts
back
there defend the land do you know for half a second in boston they they lose
people calling it the bean
don't do that bean town was bad enough we don't make beans there anymore any
more than portchester
still makes fucking lifesavers although grand rapids still makes furniture um
okay anyways i'm 23 year old man and recently began dating a girl i met on a
dating app we've
been on two dates and she has bad breath dump her jesus christ over the fuck do
you care it's not
your problem uh anyways we've been on two dates so far and they both went great
we went
to a couple museums well how far away were you standing from her were you
standing there going
uh is that her breath or the artifacts
is that her breath of that fucking woolly mammoth statue that they dug out of
the fucking ice
2 000 years ago anyways uh actually woolly mammoths for fucking 4 billion bc go
fuck yourself all right
we have a good conversation in this great chemistry overall but when she smiles
the sight and smell
indicates years of not brushing or flossing dude i don't i don't even know the
fact that you need
advice on this there is thick dark yellow buildup along her gum line oh my god
i'm gonna puke
and she talks loud so her breath travels a long way kissing is difficult to
enjoy
oh my god dude this is gross
i almost just gagged there
i almost just gagged there dude what kind of fucking low self-esteem do you
have what is my advice
either break up with her or take her to one of those self power washes car wash
things and tell
her to smile and fucking blast her right in the fucking grill
jesus fucking christ that's the most disgusting visual
oh my god
what the fuck
what is my advice i i don't know what you know what my advice is they should
make a stamp for you
because you're a goddamn saint
oh my god
kissing is difficult
oh
oh my god i think i gotta walk this one off
buddy
there's plenty of fucking fish in the fucking sea
jesus christ oh my god that's like having a
speaking of fish that's like having a goddamn eel
going along your goddamn gum lines i'm sorry guys like i don't know why
yeah dude i would just uh that that's it it's over i there should be no no
i i mean
you're gonna hang in there with this one what the fuck do you say
hey what are you doing thursday night
uh nothing uh you want to go to the dentist
let's get his and her cleanings
oh my god dude if if
if that looks like that what is what is the fucking basement gonna look like
dude
oh my god
oh my god
hey god bless you dude
yeah i get her to a dentist
however the fuck you bring that up
i don't know
some questions are beyond me
all right
jesus christ
all right that's the uh
i've never had to stop reading an email before
i haven't done that
i haven't come that close to puking since opie and anthony
the baby bird
when i was in that fucking room
and i still to this day cannot tell that story without fucking gagging and
coughing
and if you puke easily do not fucking go look up opie and anthony baby bird
and I think that's what I'm going to do.