Name: Bill Burr - Someone Tried to Scam Ol' Freckles
Uploaded: 2017-07-18T14:50:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Someone Tried to Scam Ol' Freckles' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Someone Tried to Scam Ol' Freckles' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-18. Transcript available.

So anyways, oh by the way, somebody tried to scam me. They tried to scam old
freckles.
Who do you think you're dealing with here, huh? Some fucking bald Ralph Mouth
looking
motherfucker where you are. That doesn't mean you can scam me though. They
almost did. If I
wasn't so fucking paranoid, I'm hanging in the hotel and I get this phone call
and I pick it up
and it's just this computer going, oh, that's saying that they were calling
from Apple and
that there was a problem with my iCloud and somebody might be breaking into it
and they
go, you know, call this number, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, oh,
you gotta
be fucking kidding me. So I start and they say the number twice. I can't
remember it. So
I just start taking a guess and I punched in like out of the, you know, 10
numbers, you
know, one, eight, eight, eight, whatever. I got about six in and it immediately
starts
dialing and I somehow get connected. Now right there, that should have like tipped
me off that
these people are just fishing, looking for somebody to react to it. So I dialed
like six of the
fucking 10 digits I needed. And then this guy's like, hello, uh, and I was like,
yeah, you guys
just call it. Well, what is this referring to? It's like, you fucking called me.
It's about my
sound cloud or whatever. And they go, oh yes, yes. You have a security problem.
Uh, but I go,
well, who's fucking fault is that? I go, why did you guys set up the cloud? If
it wasn't
going to be like safe now, you've exposed me all this shit because what I
fucking
because I downloaded the Royal blood fucking album. Now all of a sudden,
somebody's going
to drain my bank account. You computer cunts. I wasn't cursing, but I was
flipping out and
then he goes, so sir, we can help you. We can help you over the phone. We just
need to access
your computer. I go, what do you mean access my computer? And the guy just
starts talking.
I go, I go, I don't want to do that over the phone. He goes, sir, this is a
very, this is
a secure fucking blah, blah, blah. And I go, well, how do I, how do I know?
Cause you say
so. Basically I wouldn't fucking do it just because I was looking at, I was
looking at them
like they were legit, but I was just like, well, you already got hacked. Why
the fuck would
I go with you again? Why don't I just go to the store? So it literally got to
the point.
And he goes, sir, this is, this is a secure, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I
just kept
going. Like, well, I don't even know who you are. You just, for all I know, you're
one
of the guys fucking trying to hack into my computer. Dude, I literally felt
like I was in the born
identity. You know, when you don't know who to trust, you know, and you just
fucking yelling
at the other guy going, you put your gun down, you put your gun down first.
Right. So finally
he gives up on me and he goes, well, here's your case number. And, uh, you know,
I'll fucking,
you know, he said some dumb shit. You've been to Turkey or Jordan recently. It's
like, no,
no, I saw the 30 for 30 on Len bias. When he fucking went one-on-one against
Michael Jordan.
You were, you're calling Michigan. You fucking asshole. So anyways, he ends up
transferring
me and it just fucking hangs up. And then I'm like flipping the fuck out. So I
called the
guy who produces my fucking show and he just goes, what? He goes, yeah, Apple
doesn't call
anybody. He goes, nah, man, that's just bullshit. So thank God I'm a paranoid
jackass or I might've
let something happen there. So I'm just putting that out there. Let, you know,
I'm sure all
you young guys know what it is and you feel so smart and you're going to shake
your head
and laugh your ass off at me on Twitter going like, oh, I can't. Hey, fuckhead.
How do you know?
Like it's 2017. Um, I learned that back in 2010. Did you? What else did you
learn? How not to play
a guitar and then still call yourself a musician? Oh, Bill. Oh, Bill. Come
along. Let's not be the old
guy here. Huh?