Name: Bill Burr - Bank Of America System Outage
Uploaded: 2017-07-21T13:39:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bank Of America System Outage' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bank Of America System Outage' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-21. Transcript available.

What are you gonna do? Did you hear Bank of America? Evidently their entire
fucking system was down.
How does that happen? That's not scary enough, is it?
Jesus Christ.
I hope they didn't. You know what? I should look that up. I should look that up
before I cause a run on a bank.
Is that the name of a song? Run on a bank. Is that a Bob Seger song?
What's that? Ain't no surprise.
Oh, that's Love on the Rocks, not Run on a Bank.
Love on the Rocks!
Ain't no big surprise that I was run on a bank.
Grab them by their ties.
Especially with their milk-white fucking thighs.
Why does my internet suck in every fucking room?
I swear to God, whoever my internet company is, they have to have a poster me
on the wall going,
we need more customers like this.
He pays ten times what he should fucking pay.
It never works, and he never complains unless he's doing his podcast.
But who gives a fuck? Because he never calls us.
So what do we care?
We just keep taking his fucking money.
All right, here we go.
Bank of America, fuck yeah!
Everyone in the world is jealous of us.
Everyone wants to be just like us.
That's why they hate on us.
All right, maybe we've gotten out of line in a few areas.
All right, evidently it's loading.
You know what I mean?
Watching my computer try to get on the internet, like waiting for it for load,
it's like watching me try to remember shit from fucking two days ago.
Oh, you sneaky fucking bastards.
This isn't what I wanted.
I didn't want your website.
I wanted the fucking gossip.
What do I got to hit?
Bank of America slash TMZ?
Bank of fucking America.
Here we go again.
Bank of America.
Google.
Here we go.
Here we go.
What do you got?
What do we got?
Customers shot out of accounts during apparent Bank of America outage.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
I'm just picturing someone with one of those.
What's that white mask that those fucking hackers wear when they want to shut
down the corporations?
All right, here we go.
Bank of America customers were shut out from their accounts.
Oh, an advertisement.
Oh, Ralph's.
Jesus, you know what?
I will buy a honey of the ham.
All right, we're back.
Bank of America customers were shut out from their accounts for several hours
Wednesday in a system outage.
You know, somebody's fucking, you know, didn't get dialysis so their heart
stops.
You wouldn't.
You were such.
We're so at the feet of these fucking cunts.
Coral Springs resident Eric Sleeper.
Oh, he's a sleeper.
You never think he could run that fast in those work boots.
And there he goes down the street.
Said we got what looked like a phishing email from the bank Wednesday and
immediately started calling customer service to see if something was wrong.
A message on his online account said he could not pull up his information.
When we called his local branch, a manager said that local managers were
calling each other trying to figure out what caused what appeared to be a
national outage and why they were unable to provide certain services.
Like what provide you with the money that you need on down detector dot com, a
website that tracks reports of system outages.
Reports started spiking after 1130 a.m.
And the website was inundated with comments from Bank of American customers.
Dude, what the fuck?
Send around the country saying they couldn't access online banking computer
transit.
By 1 p.m.
They had received nearly 1,000 reports of problems.
But by Wednesday evening, although some customers were still reporting problems,
the number of reports had gone down considerably to about 200.
And then this is their comment.
I know that the team is working quickly to bring everything back up.
As time progresses, they should be able to go back online.
I would really love to see what really happened.
Bank of America, system wide, system wide outage on the day I'm closing on my
closing on my house and there's nothing I can do about it.
Bank of America, you close my bank account with no notice.
How can I deposit my check when I no longer have an account stuck in Thailand?
What is up with not being able to transfer?
System has been down for three hours.
Oh, Jesus, Jenny, that's nothing compared to the guy stuck in Thailand.
The clerk at Bank of America just said, I can't make a deposit because of
nationwide disruption.
Anyone know what's up?
All right.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Well, let's just hope that was a one-time thing.
Nothing to see here.
That's fucking scary.
That's why you got to have your money in like three different banks.
I don't care if you got 40 bucks.
Put 15 in one, 10 in another.
What do we got left there?
What's that?
25?
You got 15 in the last one, right?
15, 15, and 10.
It's a fucking shell game out there, man.
And when you got to pay your rent, you write three different checks.
Why don't you just write it for the full of mouth?
Because I'm not going to get stuck in Thailand, you cunt.
What do you care?
As long as it all works.