Name: Bill Burr - Teaching Guitar To A Cute Girl
Uploaded: 2017-08-01T13:45:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Teaching Guitar To A Cute Girl' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Teaching Guitar To A Cute Girl' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-01. Transcript available.

Teaching guitar to a cute girl. Oh, Jesus. Please tell me she's of age. I don't
like
the sound of this already. All right. Hi, Bill. I've been listening to your
podcast for a while now. Just picturing this old guy applying Ben Gaze. He
listens to this. And I now know you tend to give some
solid romantic relationship advice. So I was wondering if you and maybe the
lovely Nia too, if she's around, could help me out with this one. About two
years
back, I met this girl in my last year of university. We had a lot of the same
classes together, so we started talking. We have a lot of the same interests.
She's
really smart. She's funny and nice and just all around my type. But it turns
out
she had a boyfriend, so I backed off pretty quickly. To this day, we're friends
and we try to meet up every couple of weeks. Is this when Harry met Sally or is
this actually your life? So about two months ago, she messaged me saying she
always wanted to learn how to play guitar and that she finally bought one. She's
into you, dude. I've been playing guitar for years, so I told her I'd be happy
to meet
up with her and show her some easy stuff to get her started. It slowly morphed
into this
thing where every week we meet up after work for a couple of hours. I'll teach
her chords
and stuff and we'll talk about life in general. Anyway, I noticed lately that a
good chunk of the
conversation has been about how she's been fighting with her boyfriend, the
same guy as when we first
met. Yet, how many more fucking signals do you need? Jesus Christ, is she going
to put Christmas
lights around her fucking vagina there? She also keeps telling me how amazing I'm
being for teaching
her guitar and how I'm such a great guy. Plus, the last few weeks, if ever a
boyfriend calls and
we're together, she's been sending it straight to voicemail. Okay. All right.
All right. What does
she have to do? Grab you by the back of your neck and fucking push your face
towards her? I mean,
come on. I'm starting, this guy goes, I'm starting to get the feeling she might
be interested.
Call me crazy. But this is where I need your advice. I tend to overthink things.
Uh, yeah, I would say because I tend to overthink things a lot in general and I've
actually had
issues with anxiety slash depression in the past. I was wondering if you and Nia
could help me out
here. And I'm reading, am I reading too much into things? Or does it seem like
she's actually showing
some interest? I'll take any help on what I should do here. Congrats on your
lovely daughter and getting
the show picked up for season three. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Um, yes, sir.
Jesus Christ,
your low self-esteem jackass. Yeah, she's into you. So what do you mean what
you should you do here?
Just, I would tell her how you feel. I would just say, listen, I hope I'm not
out of line here.
I know you have a boyfriend. I would just ask her, say, so what's going on with
your boyfriend? You
don't seem happy. You know, you're always sending it to saying you're always
fighting. You're sending
it to the voicemail. You know, you don't seem happy. Are you happy? And there's
a 40% chance there,
she might cry when she finally says no. Um, and just say, listen, I really like
you. And I don't,
I don't like seeing you unhappy. All right. And not for nothing. If you ever
broke up with that guy,
I'd love to take you out sometime. Now, would you like to learn how to do an F
chord?
That's it. How about that? F as in, fuck me. Um, yeah, that's what I would do.
I just ask her
about a relationship and she's going to say, it's not going well. And then just
say, well, you know,
just say what the fuck I just said. Put it in your own words. All right. What
am I, Cyrano de Bergerac
over here? Is that the right guy? Is that the guy? Tell her you're the man.
Tell her you're bad.
Remember that? What was that? Uh, that was that Bronnie Dangerfield movie.