Name: Bill Burr - Microchipping In The Bible | Giving Your Fingerprints
Uploaded: 2017-08-01T14:19:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Microchipping In The Bible | Giving Your Fingerprints' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Microchipping In The Bible | Giving Your Fingerprints' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-01. Transcript available.

Microchipping says Revelation 1317. It's called Mark of the Beast. Now, sorry
for this click here.
This is going to be loud. Block your ears. Three, two, one, click.
Where the fuck is it? I know I looked it up.
Here we go. Revelation. This is the exact reason why I don't read the Bible.
Library. Revelation 317. Let's see if I can get this here.
The temple of God was opened in heaven, and there was seen in his temple the
ark of his testament.
The ark of God's testament is the holy of holies, the second apartment of the
sanctuary.
You already lost me. Evidently, you can rent a room out in his church.
Yeah, or he has one other tenet.
In the ministration of the early tabernacle, which served unto the example and
shadow of heavenly things,
this apartment was opened only by the great day of atonement for the cleansing
of the sanctuary.
Therefore, the announcement that the temple of God was opened.
Oh, okay. Well, there you go. So I guess that explains microchipping.
Thank you, Bible. That really is the good book.
I mean, I would, I think I, I, I think I understand like computers more than I
get the Bible.
I just, why can't they just write it in fucking today's English?
They do that with every other book of lies. No kidding.
Alright, I work for the microchip company in Wisconsin.
Okay.
Some stick fuck offered my boss a TV show.
What the fuck are they going to call it?
How to shed your employees' rights?
Thanks, asshole. Sorry, just venting.
Love your stuff.
Thank God for your gifts.
You don't plunge a clock for Satan.
Well, neither do you.
You just work for a company in Wisconsin.
Quit the fucking job.
Man, what do I do?
I don't know.
Collect unemployment and not be microchipped?
Come on, people.
Don't give Delta Airlines your fingerprints.
Alright, please don't do this, people.
Please don't give in to this.
Don't go to Tiger Stadium and give them your fingerprints so you don't have to
stand in line for a fucking pretzel.
You fucking dope.
And please don't be dumb enough to think,
Well, dude, my credit's fucked.
Good luck if somebody steals my identity.
Dummy.
They're going to create a false credit report.
All they need is the Lee Harvey Oswald to pin it on,
which will be you and your fingerprints, you fucking dope.
Yeah.
You know, in the future, there's going to be a knock on the door,
and they're going to question why you killed a hooker in the Ukraine.
And you'll be like, I've never been there in my life.
Oh, yeah?
Your fingerprints were.
Here's the story of a person who didn't kill a hooker.
Now he's getting banged in the ass in the Ukraine
because he left his fingerprints at the ballpark
because he wanted a Coors Light.
Alright.
Um, sorry.