Name: Bill Burr - Anthony Scaramucci | The Outcast Network
Uploaded: 2017-08-04T13:16:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Anthony Scaramucci | The Outcast Network' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Anthony Scaramucci | The Outcast Network' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-04. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burn it's time for the thursday afternoon just
before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in i'm just checking in on you
just checking
in on you what's going on oh it's been a sad week you know for stand-up comedians
it's been
a sad week joe de rosa has decided to retire no i'm kidding um why didn't i
pick why did
i pick joe de rosa because his birthday's coming up everybody wish joe de rosa
a happy birthday on
sunday all right on twitter you call him twinkle toes you call him whatever you
want but just just
just wishing my happy birthday anyways um what am i talking about here uh it's
a sad day in stand-up
comedy because uh that fucking scaramucci guy got fired i know what happened a
few days ago but i
don't do a podcast every couple of days what do you want from me huh well bill
you know we'd like
if uh you know you know some douchebag sent me something on twitter he goes hey
bill please read
the news before you do your podcast um north korea shot off a nuclear warhead
or a missile or something
and i'm taking my head it wasn't nuclear with some sort of ballistic whatever
the fuck that means
it's a giant m80 that could make it to chicago that's the way i heard it and i
looked it up and
it wasn't nuclear so i wrote him back i said i go it wasn't nuclear you fucking
dope stop acting like
you're too smart to listen to my dumb podcast i don't know and then whenever i
call people out on
that they go oh she's looking for a reaction oh where are you yeah yeah yeah
take your comment and
fucking go home right you're not in the sandbox anymore you're gonna run away
huh you're gonna go
down there and hide under the skirt of your mother huh um scaramucci got fired
fucking sucks
everybody says they want somebody honest and this guy goes in and he literally
just says what he's
thinking that i don't even know how to say that guy rencie reince r-e-i-n-c-e-e
tell me what it means
to me um rents he says is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic a paranoiac whatever
the hell that
means and he goes i'm not like steve bannon i'm not trying to suck my own cock
i'm not trying to build
my own brand i'm here to serve the country i mean jesus christ
what more do you want from somebody in the white house is it because he said
cock is it because he
said fucking like these people who go in there like obama who speak eloquently
and and just fucking you
know hit a jump shot every fucking once in a while and oh my god he's so cool i
don't i really don't
i've fucking given up on people you know that's how people are remember when
when fucking uh when
george carlin died and what's his face uh the guy there who fucking was always
grabbing uh or whatever
the hell he was doing kept settling out of court you know like led zeppelin
yeah he does his tribute to george carlin it's him sitting there shitting on
him for fucking
cursing too much i don't know
that's a fucking shame man that is a that is a real fucking shame that that guy
is gone you know
so what are we gonna we're gonna have somebody who we're gonna have a clean
comic go in there
who still lies his ass off but wears the sweater
i mean if you can get past cock and fucking he basically said i'm not here for
my own
needs i'm not here to to advance myself
actually you know that's a lie all right he's a liar too but he was a fun liar
come on people he's fun
the guy was fun
he goes i'm not a backstabber i'm more of a front stabber i mean this this was
like it's
like what if what if fucking somebody who watched goodfellas too much got to be
in the office right
and he never took a debating class and no one ever told him not to curse into
the microphone i mean
isn't this what i mean isn't that what the internet's all about isn't that why
the internet
blew up at the end of the day isn't that why it blew up it's not because you
wanted to go on there
and research how seagulls fly from one side of the beach to the other and all
those other fun-filled
facts you can find on a website you went on because you wanted to see titties
you wanted to see some
and you wanted some uncensored language isn't that what you wanted and look how
much better society is
uh you know something if i was ever on the debating team there wouldn't need to
be another person there
okay first of all because i'm not good at debating and second of all uh i end
up undoing all of my
points during my argument you know like if you ever debated me like the worst
the most apprehensive
you'd get is you bring your eyebrows up like half like oh oh okay they come
back then okay he just
fucked the whole thing up he just it all up like scaramooch he did every once
in a while a nice
fucking layup comes in you needed that guy you needed scaramooch to balance out
trump because
everybody's doing trump jokes enough with the fucking trump jokes jesus christ
oh my god what's gonna
happen the same thing that happened when obama was in office you morons the
exact same thing watch
just watch watch how much our foreign policies watch how much in corporations
have to pay attention to
the environment watch how much bankers go to jail it's gonna be the exact same
thing and i'm not
talking about minorities i'm not talking about illegal aliens it's white people
stop acting like your
fucking life is gonna change like somebody's gonna come in and take your
fucking suv your little
fucking bran muffin or whatever the else you got at starbucks all of these
fucking assholes freaking the
out which i understand but where was this for the last eight years and the
eight years before that
the apv8 all the way back to jimmy carter jimmy carter was the last real man
that was in the
goddamn office look at him out there he's not out there doing patents waiting
for his library to be built he's
out there building houses like a goddamn man
he's putting his hammer where his mouth is these other guys just sitting around
waiting for their
library to begin you know there's a room in all those presidential libraries
that you go in there
for the rest of your life and there's a groupie just standing there right and
she just blows you the
second you walk in and the whole time she does you know it's true all right if
you don't think that's
true then you need to get on the goddamn internet um anyways plowing ahead here
but he had a blue tie he was
the good guy um anyways people i don't i don't pay attention to politics i don't
i just do all of this
so then people can air quote correct me on the on twitter with their own
misinformation
it's a little game i like to call i don't have a name for it um anyway scaramoochie
god damn it
that guy should have his own podcast i would listen to that every week
isn't that what you do now i love how everybody when they get when they totally
ruin their career their first option is what i do
they dig they start doing stand-up remember charlie sheeny two guys a girl in a
pizza place he was on that whatever the his thing was
hey there's two guys and there's a kid there's no chick what are we gonna do
i don't you know exactly what you're gonna do 200 episodes and make it to syndication
let me guess do you got two dates in the same night now what are you gonna do
but up but up up
here's the story no wonder he ended up doing all those drugs so would i how
many times can you just
sit there doing another episode those poor people on those sitcoms man once you
get up to like episode
80 90 and just like and you know that you don't care anymore you know it's bad
enough when you don't
care and just the cruise there i just can't imagine walking out in front of
that studio audience
you know you guys missed it i was actually i was in hollywood during the heyday
of that and uh used to always hear these stories about all of these shows these
they would be in like the uh they're in the seventh season and they'd be like
dude they all i heard they don't come in until thursday
you know most of them don't even show up to the table read then they would blow
off rehearsal tuesday
and wednesday they wouldn't even come in thursday they just do the blocking
because they have it so
down you know i know i go sit on it richie and then i jump in the air across my
legs and sit in
howard cuttingham's chair i got it how many of these episodes do we got to do
right they'd show up for
the camera blocking which is basically so you know where you stand so you're
going to be on camera you
won't block anybody else and then the next day they do the taping and then that
was it
um anyways these motherfuckers he's i bet he does a podcast you know they
should start a podcast
network just the outcasts right and it should be like paula dean um uh who's
that who's like that
fucking really weird guy glenn beck that that guy jesus christ you know i used
to watch him just to
feel emotionally stable he he was like a character out of wrestling like kind
of like a a i don't
know like one of those high-pitched uh who's that high-pitched guy who had the
megaphone
it was like bret hart except he was built like that guy from gladiator it's a
gladiator
i forget what that movie was called um anyways they should have them bill o'reilly
should just stick
them all in the same network and they just sell them like you know the
mainstream couldn't handle us
it couldn't handle our truth we went out there or said it like it was when it
was what it is
that's what i do you know how american people can't handle me because i tell it
like it is
that's the male version of when a woman goes like guys are like intimidated by
me no you're a and you
sir are a racist moron okay you're not telling it how it is okay you're telling
it how your
racist parents told you how it is and then you never left your town and then
somehow you got on
television and then you started saying the that you heard at the local diner
right and then
everybody else with dirty boots are like right that's how it was it's how it
was people i don't know what
i'm talking about right now you know i have no idea