Name: Bill Burr - Regret Dumping Girlfriend
Uploaded: 2017-08-16T00:33:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Regret Dumping Girlfriend' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Regret Dumping Girlfriend' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-16. Transcript available.

all right i dumped my girlfriend and now i regret it is this the follow-up song
to i kissed a girl
and i liked it um hi bill i started watching your podcast watching my podcast i
don't know how you're
doing that you mean listening to my podcast oh this person's not from this
country or doesn't
speak english anyways i'm gonna read this right is the same way this person
wrote it i started
watching your podcast since few months because the best romanian stand-up comedians
always said
that they listened to yours in their podcast get the fuck out of here romanian
comics listen to this
podcast shout out to romania huh isn't that where all the gypsies come the richard
priors and george
collins are fucking pickpocketers i gotta tell you man they're fucking amazing
their pains in the asses
but jesus christ can those fucking people pick your pocket you almost like when
they leave you can't
find your passport you almost fucking applaud them i don't know where you are
but that was good i had
no idea god bless you um i don't know if they come from romania the gypsies
transylvania they're gypsies
they move around now about the story uh me and this girls we had a complicated
dude you got a threesome
you broke up with two girls i had a complicated story and i tried six months to
be with her until i finally
succeeded so after one year and a half a very nice relationship he was giving
it to her of course with
ups and downs before i leaved to germany to study i decided alone that will be
better for her if we split
up so i dumped her and said to her that we should remain friends my decision
was because i got scared of her love
she would leave all of her dreams and stuff only to come with me and be with me
and to to hear that
at 19 years old is scared it's scary as shit uh now after nine months when the
moving out euphoria has
vanished i now know that i made a big mistake and i realized how cunt i was to
her i think you mean
cunty uh in the past month so she moved on but we still kind of talked but i
cannot sleep anymore
i developed a little problem with drinking alone and trying not to feel
something a little advice
would be nice thank you and all good for you and your family first of all
fucking you did great with
your english i knew exactly what the fuck you were talking about i could never
do that well i don't even
know what you guys what do you speak over there is it is it called romanian tepansy
um
dude you're 19 you're gonna meet somebody else i mean um
on your way to finding the person you're gonna you're gonna be with you fuck up
like anything any
success story you make mistakes and you learn from them along the way all right
if you really love her
i mean this is what you could do call her up one time and just say listen i
just want you to know
that breaking up with you was the biggest mistake i've ever made i've had a
problem sleeping i've been
i've developed i've been drinking trying to forget and just tell her why you
did it and just totally
communicate with her and see what see what she says all right and you know if
she doesn't take you back
you can live with that okay the bottom line dude you're fucking 19 years old
okay don't start drinking
don't do don't make the mistakes i made all right you're in the prime of your
fucking life turn it
around wake up every morning have some positive thing that you say to yourself
all right as simple as today's gonna be a great day or i fucked up that
relationship with so and so
but i forgive myself and i'm gonna go out that door and i'm gonna be a fucking
real life you know and
you're gonna attract somebody else to you go out there have a good time and
when you meet a woman
all right that you like and just just fucking be straight up honest how you
doing me i'm trying
to be positive trying to be positive i went through some shit i'm trying to get
over it and i'm trying
to be positive what's going on with you there cutie pie start doing that don't
fucking start drinking
and being a sad sack you know drinking again oh baby i'm drinking again all
right that's it but this
is a good this is gonna be a good experience for you you can learn how to
fucking open up as a guy
communicate your feelings and learn how to fucking get closure with the woman
that you broke up with
or who knows it opens back up who knows right and then also you learn how to
not make self
you learn how to pick yourself up off the fucking mat because i'm gonna tell
you right now you're 19
years old if you think this is the first time you're gonna get knocked on your
ass in life
um you're you're sadly mistaken all right you gotta learn how to get back up
again so this is a great
opportunity no matter what all right so there you go grasshopper take those
positive words and go
help yourself a great fucking day