Name: Bill Burr - Bill Trying To Get A Loan
Uploaded: 2017-08-18T14:26:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bill Trying To Get A Loan' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bill Trying To Get A Loan' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-18. Transcript available.

so anyways i'm all freckles is trying to uh invest his fucking money because
the government's taken
all of it and i'm sitting here trying to buy the smallest of small little
properties here
so someday when i'm in my fucking 70s and 80s and i don't feel like going out
on the road unless i
want to i don't have to you know what i mean i don't want to fuck you know what
i mean because
you know you what goes up comes back down again and if i'd start the gentle
slide back down to
the fucking comedy vault at remington's in boston when i'm in my 80s which
unfortunately that room
finally passed away like a year or two ago about a year and a half ago the
comedy vault legendary room
started in 1993 dick doherty host spike tobin i was on one of the first nights
there put together my
first five minutes right down there right next to the fucking bank vault why am
i thinking of that
shit because right now i'm trying to get a loan all right and i have i should
have perfect fucking
credit but i don't because i pay off my credit cards every fucking month so and
they don't like that
i paid off my loans early they don't like that dings your credit they look at
that like a loss like hey we
were gonna make five grand off this loan you paid it off twice as fast we only
made 2500 bucks we lost
2500 bucks in this guy so i've given these guys every fucking goddamn piece of
information they need
i have the credit i have the fucking money it's a fucking joke and then today
they come at me they
want two years of my my fucking cell phone bill now i gotta dig through all of
my shit to try and find
that and i just want to say to them can you just tell me why you need all this
oh these are the new
regulations but yes yes and why why are these new regular why do these new york
regulations exist
well i mean that's just something that no
they exist because you guys were irresponsible with your own countrymen's money
10 years ago
and you nuked the economy i didn't do it i'm a responsible guy i live within my
means my checkbook
is balanced and now i have to jump through all these extra hoops why because
you guys are greasy
greedy pieces of that gave every mouth breathing dope 500 thousand dollars came
walking through your bank
doors for a good seven eight years in the last decade
now i gotta sit here digging through shoe boxes of phone bills
you know because you're on double secret probation because you're a up i love
how because
they're a up all of a sudden it reverts back to me like now i have to pay for
their sins
well actually bill this the fact that they're holding their feet to the fire
like this you know
that's a good thing for you and your money because your money's tied into the
system i realize that
i just wish that when you say hey why do i have to do this they don't hide
behind uh regulations
they should say well because we got so greedy 10 years ago
the culmination of our greed ended up with the the the cooking
the cooking of the economy and old people thought they could retire then had to
continue working
right into their grave that's what the we did with your money hence we need to
see the last
two years of your goddamn phone bill oh we're taking callers