Name: Bill Burr - Trump | Jessica Simpson | Coyotes | Gorillas
Uploaded: 2017-08-25T02:34:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Trump | Jessica Simpson | Coyotes | Gorillas' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Trump | Jessica Simpson | Coyotes | Gorillas' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-25. Transcript available.

um the fact that our president tweets and reads his his twitter account
is just i don't i don't even know like it's like dude you're above that
you're above it fucking respond i don't you know i mean people shit on me i don't
even i i feel i
don't even need to respond to people shitting on me i first of all i feel it's
par for the course
not everybody's gonna like you the fact that this fucking guy's got to go on
and respond it's like
what are you doing but then again he did win it he won he won the whole fucking
i love people who
think he's dumb it's like if he's that fucking stupid how did all those smart
people lose to him
that was like back in the day when that that woman uh jessica simpson when she
would be like
chicken of the sea is that like chicken or is it tuna which to be honest
looking back was a legit
question i mean it is a food and he wrote chicken on it that's like chicken
fried steak
for years i was like is it chicken is it steak what the fuck is it
hey take a ride in my truck car
what the fuck is it why would you call it something else what is this over here
um everybody thought she was dumb it's like yeah yeah she's a fucking moron
with with hit albums in
her own tv shows like i would love to be that stupid you know she married nick
lachey he's a
good-looking fella right guys guys in a boy band he plays golf on the fucking
weekend she was crushing
it dating tony romo romo romo romo did she marry him
i don't know i felt bad for her one day like i think it was her her little dog
you know
like last scene in the mouth of a coyote it's like yeah it's fucking dead
um
what do you think the coyotes have like some sort of terrorist group and they're
gonna fucking you know
abduct your dog and change its fucking mindset it's gonna be like the patty
hearse the fucking chihuahuas
no it's it's it's dead
um that's why you gotta get a big dog out here you gotta have a big dog that
like the other coyotes are
like you know what it's not fucking worth it you know what i mean like for dogs
out here this is
like going to fucking rikers island all right well you need a big you need to
be a big fucking
muscular goddamn dog you need to be more of a fucking problem than these little
fellas out
here these little dogs like i don't know what people do like they fucking leave
them in their
backyards and shit and they just they just they're gone they're gone it's like
it's like literally
like one of those creepy fucking movies you know where they would you know the
people would go to
an island and they were just living with some sort of dragon or some sort of
gorilla and they would
just sacrifice somebody like king kong and that type of shit so this fucking
thing would leave them
alone that's such a weird beginning huh to the king kong movie that poor woman's
like tied up with those
fucking vines and i just don't get like okay you got a 60 foot goddamn gorilla
he's gonna eat that
fucking one one person and then be like filled up that's gonna be like doritos
right well not doritos
because we're mostly fucking you know protein and shit we're kind of a protein
snack aren't we
right so that's like him having like a cliff bar
a goddamn 60 foot gorilla is gonna eat one cliff bar every couple of months and
then be fine
first of all i didn't think gorillas i thought they were vegetarians
right i thought they sat around just fucking eating i don't know what the hell
they eat
there's always some fucking person got to go try and live with them and get a
little closer and a
little closer and then eventually get this shit kicked out of them
by the goddamn gorilla i gotta tell you man the amount of shit that a gorilla
will put up with
and because it's as big as it is
i wonder if a gorilla has ever fought like a tiger
and for that we need to go to asia
you know you want to talk about spectacles
where you have a boxer against an mma guy
like asians i'm telling you if you want to go see any time you start looking at
like
this versus this this versus that you will find black and white footage
where they put a fucking bear and a tiger
in the same cage to see what or a lion against the tiger just to see what the
fuck would happen
um they did it
that's their thing
where we experimented with human beings they experimented with animals it seems
i don't
fuck what what am i even talking about you know this is one of these podcasts
where it just started
off on the wrong foot and now i'm just desperately trying to fill the last 18
seconds of this thing