Name: Bill Burr - Mayweather / McGregor Fight Is A Ripoff
Uploaded: 2017-08-25T02:54:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Mayweather / McGregor Fight Is A Ripoff' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Mayweather / McGregor Fight Is A Ripoff' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-25. Transcript available.

I have been saying, you know, I would fucking, I'm telling you right now, this
fucking Mayweather
McGregor fight, if you ever wanted to solve the population problem, the amount
of mouth breathers
that are showing up, okay, you send a fucking signal through the fucking bar,
whoever orders
the fight, that's it, you're done. Something happens, you know, when they used
to play,
you know, those old spy movies where they would play that really high-pitched
fucking noise and
people would just grab their ears like, yeah, and then they would die. Yeah, do
some Star Trek shit.
That's going to go down is one of the biggest fucking rip-offs of all fucking
time, Mayweather
McGregor. That's my prediction. And if it doesn't, I'll just say I was wrong
and then I'll order the
fight. But there is no fucking way I'm going to sit there on Saturday night and
watch a guy who used to
fucking box 15, 20 fucking years ago, fight a guy who fucking retired two years
ago, who's in his
forties and everybody's asking, acting like, oh, is this going to be his first
fucking law? The guy's in
his forties. He's been retired for two years. You remember when Jordan came
back on the fucking
wizards taking two, three fucking years off? You know, that was basketball.
Forget about boxing.
This is like the dumbest thing ever. You know what it really is? It's a bunch
of fucking losers
that want, you know, that aren't happy with their own lives, that want to see a
guy that's been
shooting his mouth off, saying his life is fucking great. And they want to see
him get knocked on his
ass. And I'm so sick of people going, it's a spectacle. It's a spectacle. I'm
just, I'm tuning
in for this spectacle. Why are you using that word spectacle? You fucking moron.
Because everybody
on, on, in sports has been saying this. So I, the amount of fucking mouth
breathing dopes that I've
known, you know, and I'm one of them. I've never heard him use the, the, the
expression spectacle in
my life. Now it's like, yeah, I'm just watching, I'm watching it for this
spectacle. It's a spectacle,
a sport. What does that mean? Exactly. A spectacle. You mean, is that like a
fancy word for,
it's a fucking ripoff? These are the same people that would have paid fucking $60,
you know,
the equivalent of $60 30 fucking years ago, 40 years ago to watch Lyle Alzado
fight fucking Muhammad
Ali, which actually happened if you never looked it up. All right. Spectacle.
Let's look up the
definition of spectacle. Spectacle. Number one, uh, something to stare at.
Number two, a pay-per-view
ripoff. No, a visually striking performance or display an event or scene
regarded in terms of its
visual impact. I don't know. I don't know what's going on with sports right now
or that fucking league
where they just take three people who used to be superstars and played three
other people that used
to be superstars. And, uh, what do you get out of watching that half court of
basketball confirmation
that yes, we are all going to die a slow death. I'm sorry. I'm really just
being a scrooge. Enjoy
your fucking fight. I will not be watching it. I'm going to get out on the
highway and drive like 80 miles
an hour out here in LA, you know, and enjoy this city at the population that
should be during that
fucking fight. There's so many more constructive things that I can fucking do.
And, um, this, you know,
what it is, is that just doing this clearly for the fucking money and, uh, that's
it. So, you know,
in a way it's, I'm actually happy for them. Cause they're both getting their
brains knocked out in
every fucking fight and God knows what's what their quality of life will be in
their fifties.
So good for them. Go out and get your fucking money. But I've given Mayweather
at least,
I don't know, but his last seven fights times 60, 420 bucks that he should
return at least a portion
of it. He hasn't knocked anybody out since that was a Ricky Hatton. He fights
fucking Packy out 10 years
after he should have, the guy shows up with the fucking injured shoulder. He,
his singing voice
is gone and he just fucking, and it's just, I don't know. All right. I've, I've
said my piece.
You guys enjoy the fucking fight. And, uh, you, you text me your, oh shits and
whatnot. Um, afterwards
Verzi was saying that bill, it's a spectacle. It's a spectacle. It's like, dude,
I've known you for 10 years. You've never said that word. Um, like they're
above it. Like they're
above it. I'm just watching it. Ah, you know, I know it's bullshit. I know it's
like, no, dude,
you can't look away. That's what your fucking problem is. People who are
getting it just because,
oh, it's going to be so fucking ridiculous. Are the same fucking cunts in front
of you causing a
traffic jam because somebody's changing their tire on the side of the fucking
road because they can't
look away. And they were right behind all those other cunts screaming at him
going, go, go, go drive.
And then the second they come up to it, they're sitting there fucking rubbernecking
right there.
I'm telling you, oh man, that's going to be fucking exciting. I'm going to
actually get to experience
what people experience who don't give a shit about sports on the super bowl.
You get to
fucking cruise around the city, get a bunch of errands done, you know, ride a
bicycle right down
the middle of the street. You know, what's funny is what I should really be
doing. I should really
be rooting for this McGregor Mayweather fight to be a great thing. Cause then I
can, I can rent it.
And then, and I'll get to watch something interesting, but I'm S I so want to
be right about this.
You know, you're not going to get me right. I'm the guy walking, you know,
driving by who wants to
look, but I'm not going to look to prove some sort of point that nobody in
front of me,
behind me or next to me is going to give a shit about. That's basically what I'm
doing with this.
Um, anyways, prediction on the fight. Yes. Uh, I'm going to say McGregor is not
going to be,
you know, I don't know. It's two years ago. If he's anything like he used to be,
McGregor is not gonna be able to lay a fucking hand on him.
Why anybody would think that McGregor could lay a fucking glove on Mayweather
is
fucking beyond me. Unless these, unless he got really old in the last two years,
unless it's Jordan from the bulls to the wizards. If it's that type of leap,
yes,
McGregor has a fucking shot, but then who gives a shit? He beats up a fucking
guy, you know,
two years after he retired, you know, imagine not going to the gym for two
years. Okay. And then
fucking chasing, you know, racing somebody down the street for a fucking mile.
Now it's time to talk about my real feelings about the Mayweather McGregor
fight. I am curious.
I do want to watch, but I've just been burned too many fucking times.
So what I'm doing is I'm letting you guys take the beach. All right. And if you
tweet at me,
oh my God, that was fucking amazing. Well, now you're not, now you're just
gonna lie to me. I'll,
I'll go on the internet. And if everybody said that was amazing and it was
worth the fucking money,
I will then rent the fight. That's what I'm doing from now on. Cause I've just,
I've just been burned too many fucking times. Um, I think it will be
devastating for boxing.
If Mayweather loses, even though he's been retired for two fucking years. Um,
basically it's all about the first couple of rounds. If McGregor is going to do
it,
if he doesn't do it within fucking three rounds, he's fucked. That's it. Okay.
There's my brilliant
insight. I know what everybody else knows. I've watched too many of McGregor's
fights and he,
and when he, when he would fight Nate Diaz, he'd get into the fourth round and
he would be winded.
So they fight five minute rounds. So I don't, I don't know. I think even though
they only fight,
what, how many rounds, how many minutes or there's a three minute rounds, right?
So logically you'd be like, well, five minutes in, then, then that's the
equivalent to going five rounds.
I mean, three rounds, five minute rounds in the fucking UFC, Jesus Christ bill.
But here's the thing. He's going to be using different muscles. You know,
he's going to waste a lot of fucking energy trying to hit somebody that nobody
could fucking hit.
And, um, I don't know. I don't know what it is, but they're both brilliant
fucking fighters.
They're both amazing. And, uh, they're also, you know, they're as good at
selling a fight,
which is why everybody's showing up in all of that shit, because two big shit
talkers,
you know, there's nothing people like better than seeing a shit talker lose.
And one of them's going to lose. So I guess that's why everybody's going to
watch, but I cannot
fucking resist
the, uh, the euphoria of not doing what everybody else is doing and getting to
do other shit.
It's something I learned when I would watch the super bowl and I would just
tape the fucking thing
and just do other shit for the first 90 minutes of the game. So I can fast
forward
through all of the commercials and the absolutely fucking horrific halftime
show and the opening
ceremonies and all of that other bullshit. I can just watch the goddamn game. I
remember when I would
drive around, I go, you know,
get something to eat or some shit and then just be nobody on the fucking road
and you just get to
experience what your city was like back before there were automobiles, except
you're in a car
and there's paved roads. I don't know. There's this sort of a, uh, I kind of
understand
a little bit like why people don't watch sports. I actually get it now. Like
the amount of free
time and if you like, but the thing is you got to fill that free time up with
like some healthy
shit. Enjoy your goddamn fight. Don't listen to a crabby freckled bald cunt
like me telling you
that's a fucking rip off. You go enjoy your goddamn spectacle. Yeah, you
deserve it. It's a spectacle.
Donald Trump isn't enough of a fucking spectacle.
That's not enough for you. So why don't I try to end this thing on something
positive? If you guys enjoy
your fight, your sports spectacle this, uh, this weekend, I hope you don't get
fucked over and I'm,
I'm being honest, you know something, I'm going to be a bigger man here rather
than being the guy that
said, I told you. So I hope on Monday you guys can all come back and I can read
a bunch of fucking
letters of like, bill, you negative cunt. You've never been wrong, more wrong
in your freckled, pathetic
life. And, uh, I really hope that you guys are able to send those to me. I hope
you make it. I hope you get your money's worth.
Um, like I said, I will not be watching the fucking thing. Um, I'm too goddamn
stubborn. All right. I,
I, you know something I'm actually, this is, this is actually for me, this pay-per-view
is about being
able to walk away because I have jumped on the fucking, you know, the UFC's
done that to me.
UFC, I've ordered the fucking shit and then find out somebody tested positive
for steroids.
You know, UFC is also doing that shit. Now, now that they got bought out by
other fucking people,
you know, and Dana White's like the figurehead now, however, how the fuck it
works. They're doing that
shit now where like every three pounds is a new weight class. So now they have
all these air quote
champions. So then everything's a fucking championship fight. That's like what
fucking killed boxing.
Aside from the fact that they had like 50 different goddamn leagues or whatever,
the WBA, the WBC, the IBF, there was like three heavyweight champions all at
the same time.
And then somebody had to try to come in and unify the titles. Um,
yeah. And like, then like every like eight pounds became like a fucking weight
class or whatever.
All I know is everything was like a title fight and they, they, they, they
weren't as good.
So I hope the UFC doesn't go that route because, um, what was great when they
had the monopoly
was, uh, the best fought the best. So I hope that continues. Um,
I apologize for this podcast, everybody. I don't know why I'm shitting on
everything. That's just fun,
simple. Goddamn fun in this miserable world. Why would I do that? All right,
come on, Bill,
pull it out of the mud. This fight is going to be the greatest spectacle of all
time. If you do not
put $60 down on that, you are going to miss out, right? There you go. That was
positive.
Ah, what do you want from me? I tried.

Bill Burr - Mayweather / McGregor Fight Is A Ripoff

I have been saying, you know, I would fucking, I'm telling you right now, this
fucking Mayweather
McGregor fight, if you ever wanted to solve the population problem, the amount
of mouth breathers
that are showing up, okay, you send a fucking signal through the fucking bar,
whoever orders
the fight, that's it, you're done. Something happens, you know, when they used
to play,
you know, those old spy movies where they would play that really high-pitched
fucking noise and
people would just grab their ears like, yeah, and then they would die. Yeah, do
some Star Trek shit.
That's going to go down is one of the biggest fucking rip-offs of all fucking
time, Mayweather
McGregor. That's my prediction. And if it doesn't, I'll just say I was wrong
and then I'll order the
fight. But there is no fucking way I'm going to sit there on Saturday night and
watch a guy who used to
fucking box 15, 20 fucking years ago, fight a guy who fucking retired two years
ago, who's in his
forties and everybody's asking, acting like, oh, is this going to be his first
fucking law? The guy's in
his forties. He's been retired for two years. You remember when Jordan came
back on the fucking
wizards taking two, three fucking years off? You know, that was basketball.
Forget about boxing.
This is like the dumbest thing ever. You know what it really is? It's a bunch
of fucking losers
that want, you know, that aren't happy with their own lives, that want to see a
guy that's been
shooting his mouth off, saying his life is fucking great. And they want to see
him get knocked on his
ass. And I'm so sick of people going, it's a spectacle. It's a spectacle. I'm
just, I'm tuning
in for this spectacle. Why are you using that word spectacle? You fucking moron.
Because everybody
on, on, in sports has been saying this. So I, the amount of fucking mouth
breathing dopes that I've
known, you know, and I'm one of them. I've never heard him use the, the, the
expression spectacle in
my life. Now it's like, yeah, I'm just watching, I'm watching it for this
spectacle. It's a spectacle,
a sport. What does that mean? Exactly. A spectacle. You mean, is that like a
fancy word for,
it's a fucking ripoff? These are the same people that would have paid fucking $60,
you know,
the equivalent of $60 30 fucking years ago, 40 years ago to watch Lyle Alzado
fight fucking Muhammad
Ali, which actually happened if you never looked it up. All right. Spectacle.
Let's look up the
definition of spectacle. Spectacle. Number one, uh, something to stare at.
Number two, a pay-per-view
ripoff. No, a visually striking performance or display an event or scene
regarded in terms of its
visual impact. I don't know. I don't know what's going on with sports right now
or that fucking league
where they just take three people who used to be superstars and played three
other people that used
to be superstars. And, uh, what do you get out of watching that half court of
basketball confirmation
that yes, we are all going to die a slow death. I'm sorry. I'm really just
being a scrooge. Enjoy
your fucking fight. I will not be watching it. I'm going to get out on the
highway and drive like 80 miles
an hour out here in LA, you know, and enjoy this city at the population that
should be during that
fucking fight. There's so many more constructive things that I can fucking do.
And, um, this, you know,
what it is, is that just doing this clearly for the fucking money and, uh, that's
it. So, you know,
in a way it's, I'm actually happy for them. Cause they're both getting their
brains knocked out in
every fucking fight and God knows what's what their quality of life will be in
their fifties.
So good for them. Go out and get your fucking money. But I've given Mayweather
at least,
I don't know, but his last seven fights times 60, 420 bucks that he should
return at least a portion
of it. He hasn't knocked anybody out since that was a Ricky Hatton. He fights
fucking Packy out 10 years
after he should have, the guy shows up with the fucking injured shoulder. He,
his singing voice
is gone and he just fucking, and it's just, I don't know. All right. I've, I've
said my piece.
You guys enjoy the fucking fight. And, uh, you, you text me your, oh shits and
whatnot. Um, afterwards
Verzi was saying that bill, it's a spectacle. It's a spectacle. It's like, dude,
I've known you for 10 years. You've never said that word. Um, like they're
above it. Like they're
above it. I'm just watching it. Ah, you know, I know it's bullshit. I know it's
like, no, dude,
you can't look away. That's what your fucking problem is. People who are
getting it just because,
oh, it's going to be so fucking ridiculous. Are the same fucking cunts in front
of you causing a
traffic jam because somebody's changing their tire on the side of the fucking
road because they can't
look away. And they were right behind all those other cunts screaming at him
going, go, go, go drive.
And then the second they come up to it, they're sitting there fucking rubbernecking
right there.
I'm telling you, oh man, that's going to be fucking exciting. I'm going to
actually get to experience
what people experience who don't give a shit about sports on the super bowl.
You get to
fucking cruise around the city, get a bunch of errands done, you know, ride a
bicycle right down
the middle of the street. You know, what's funny is what I should really be
doing. I should really
be rooting for this McGregor Mayweather fight to be a great thing. Cause then I
can, I can rent it.
And then, and I'll get to watch something interesting, but I'm S I so want to
be right about this.
You know, you're not going to get me right. I'm the guy walking, you know,
driving by who wants to
look, but I'm not going to look to prove some sort of point that nobody in
front of me,
behind me or next to me is going to give a shit about. That's basically what I'm
doing with this.
Um, anyways, prediction on the fight. Yes. Uh, I'm going to say McGregor is not
going to be,
you know, I don't know. It's two years ago. If he's anything like he used to be,
McGregor is not gonna be able to lay a fucking hand on him.
Why anybody would think that McGregor could lay a fucking glove on Mayweather
is
fucking beyond me. Unless these, unless he got really old in the last two years,
unless it's Jordan from the bulls to the wizards. If it's that type of leap,
yes,
McGregor has a fucking shot, but then who gives a shit? He beats up a fucking
guy, you know,
two years after he retired, you know, imagine not going to the gym for two
years. Okay. And then
fucking chasing, you know, racing somebody down the street for a fucking mile.
Now it's time to talk about my real feelings about the Mayweather McGregor
fight. I am curious.
I do want to watch, but I've just been burned too many fucking times.
So what I'm doing is I'm letting you guys take the beach. All right. And if you
tweet at me,
oh my God, that was fucking amazing. Well, now you're not, now you're just
gonna lie to me. I'll,
I'll go on the internet. And if everybody said that was amazing and it was
worth the fucking money,
I will then rent the fight. That's what I'm doing from now on. Cause I've just,
I've just been burned too many fucking times. Um, I think it will be
devastating for boxing.
If Mayweather loses, even though he's been retired for two fucking years. Um,
basically it's all about the first couple of rounds. If McGregor is going to do
it,
if he doesn't do it within fucking three rounds, he's fucked. That's it. Okay.
There's my brilliant
insight. I know what everybody else knows. I've watched too many of McGregor's
fights and he,
and when he, when he would fight Nate Diaz, he'd get into the fourth round and
he would be winded.
So they fight five minute rounds. So I don't, I don't know. I think even though
they only fight,
what, how many rounds, how many minutes or there's a three minute rounds, right?
So logically you'd be like, well, five minutes in, then, then that's the
equivalent to going five rounds.
I mean, three rounds, five minute rounds in the fucking UFC, Jesus Christ bill.
But here's the thing. He's going to be using different muscles. You know,
he's going to waste a lot of fucking energy trying to hit somebody that nobody
could fucking hit.
And, um, I don't know. I don't know what it is, but they're both brilliant
fucking fighters.
They're both amazing. And, uh, they're also, you know, they're as good at
selling a fight,
which is why everybody's showing up in all of that shit, because two big shit
talkers,
you know, there's nothing people like better than seeing a shit talker lose.
And one of them's going to lose. So I guess that's why everybody's going to
watch, but I cannot
fucking resist
the, uh, the euphoria of not doing what everybody else is doing and getting to
do other shit.
It's something I learned when I would watch the super bowl and I would just
tape the fucking thing
and just do other shit for the first 90 minutes of the game. So I can fast
forward
through all of the commercials and the absolutely fucking horrific halftime
show and the opening
ceremonies and all of that other bullshit. I can just watch the goddamn game. I
remember when I would
drive around, I go, you know,
get something to eat or some shit and then just be nobody on the fucking road
and you just get to
experience what your city was like back before there were automobiles, except
you're in a car
and there's paved roads. I don't know. There's this sort of a, uh, I kind of
understand
a little bit like why people don't watch sports. I actually get it now. Like
the amount of free
time and if you like, but the thing is you got to fill that free time up with
like some healthy
shit. Enjoy your goddamn fight. Don't listen to a crabby freckled bald cunt
like me telling you
that's a fucking rip off. You go enjoy your goddamn spectacle. Yeah, you
deserve it. It's a spectacle.
Donald Trump isn't enough of a fucking spectacle.
That's not enough for you. So why don't I try to end this thing on something
positive? If you guys enjoy
your fight, your sports spectacle this, uh, this weekend, I hope you don't get
fucked over and I'm,
I'm being honest, you know something, I'm going to be a bigger man here rather
than being the guy that
said, I told you. So I hope on Monday you guys can all come back and I can read
a bunch of fucking
letters of like, bill, you negative cunt. You've never been wrong, more wrong
in your freckled, pathetic
life. And, uh, I really hope that you guys are able to send those to me. I hope
you make it. I hope you get your money's worth.
Um, like I said, I will not be watching the fucking thing. Um, I'm too goddamn
stubborn. All right. I,
I, you know something I'm actually, this is, this is actually for me, this pay-per-view
is about being
able to walk away because I have jumped on the fucking, you know, the UFC's
done that to me.
UFC, I've ordered the fucking shit and then find out somebody tested positive
for steroids.
You know, UFC is also doing that shit. Now, now that they got bought out by
other fucking people,
you know, and Dana White's like the figurehead now, however, how the fuck it
works. They're doing that
shit now where like every three pounds is a new weight class. So now they have
all these air quote
champions. So then everything's a fucking championship fight. That's like what
fucking killed boxing.
Aside from the fact that they had like 50 different goddamn leagues or whatever,
the WBA, the WBC, the IBF, there was like three heavyweight champions all at
the same time.
And then somebody had to try to come in and unify the titles. Um,
yeah. And like, then like every like eight pounds became like a fucking weight
class or whatever.
All I know is everything was like a title fight and they, they, they, they
weren't as good.
So I hope the UFC doesn't go that route because, um, what was great when they
had the monopoly
was, uh, the best fought the best. So I hope that continues. Um,
I apologize for this podcast, everybody. I d