Name: Bill Burr - Sleeping In On Saturday | Fatty Cakes In North Korea
Uploaded: 2017-09-15T13:57:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Sleeping In On Saturday | Fatty Cakes In North Korea' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Sleeping In On Saturday | Fatty Cakes In North Korea' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-15. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you oh i almost passed out
doing that
i'm just checking in on just seeing how your week's going how's it going man
you're almost
there you're almost there you're almost to the weekend it's gonna be your world
again
you're gonna get to do side decide when you wake up do side no decide
that's the greatest fucking thing about saturday morning you decide
all right and i don't care if you got kids i don't care if you got a wife you
got a husband
and they're standing i need you to shut the fuck up you're not the boss of me
it's saturday i'm staying
in this fucking bed i hear the kids crying sweetheart i hear them crying what
are they crying
they didn't what the fuck they're crying about huh they downstairs you know
what are they doing right
now what are they crying about what toy does somebody want that somebody else
hey that's that's not
a life or death situation i am going to lay in this fucking bed and i want to
get up when i decide
that's what saturday is all about saturday that feeling you have on saturday
morning
when you can basically do whatever the fuck it is you want provided the woman
in your life is afraid of you
i'm joking you can do whatever it is the
what the fuck you want to do all right that feeling right there that's the
feeling that you should be working towards
okay that misery that monday through friday waking i gotta wake why i gotta
wake up because i have
because i fucking i got an agreement with these people down the street that i
have to be there
and they have to be able to see my face at this particular fucking time
and i gotta trudge in here and do this fucking job however
on today you get to feel what it's like to be living your dream
and granted you got to be thinking well bill i can't fucking lay in a bed a
whole fucking
you know monday through sunday how would i eat how would i eat that right there
is what handouts are for
it's what 7-elevens are for you want to sleep in every day this is what you do
you sit outside
of 7-eleven you make a little sign all right you don't write it on a nice piece
of notebook paper
you got to write it on like a piece of trash so people know that you're
struggling
right now i'm with you somehow you got you got to become self-employed you got
to work
for yourself if you want that saturday morning granted you're going to still be
working you're not
only you're going to work monday through friday when you're self-employed you
work monday
through sunday but you'll get up when you want to get up all right and you'll
at least have
that feeling of a little bit of control and freedom then you can take it too
far like the
ultimate saturday i'll get up whenever the fuck i want to is that fatty cakes
there in north korea
okay and you can tell by his build that guy sleeps till at least 11 every day
you know i bet he has like kid pajamas does he look like he would you know
giant speed racer bed or some something about him he seems very childish you
know
i don't know you know what it is i bet he just because he was the the dictator's
son nobody ever
picked on him but he looked in the mirror and he was like the only reason why
they're not picking on
me right now is because
if they did my dad would feed them naked to two wild dogs that's the only thing
stopping him
look how fat i am look at me just standing there looking at his hair hair hairless
fucking torso right i bet he's got an innie right some manhole fucking level innie
there's some hole in him he's trying to fill um anyways i don't know what the
fuck i'm talking
about how about those cleveland goddamn indians 21 victories in a row you're
never gonna see this
again i mean that's fucking amazing that is really amazing um and how great
would it be to see them
end there what was it 1948 they ended it this year i don't know about my red sox
i don't know
i'm gonna keep saying that hoping i jinxed them into coming together i kind of
fell out of love with
this team i've said it before when they yelled at eckersley i was like come on
there was no discipline
about that's a hall of famer you know what you do when a hall of famer walks in
a room you shut the
fuck up that's what you do and if he criticizes you you say okay fair enough i'll
try a little
better there sport maybe ask for his audit no no you don't ask for his
autograph you want to be
a professional you want to you want to act like you're you're you're in the
same business
you never ask for an autograph within the same industry okay don't ever forget
that i've seen
people do it it's an ugly ugly scene i know a guy that played golf
in a celebrity tournament right why can't i ever type in my password and talk
at the same
time it's unbelievable he played in a celebrity golf tournament and one of the
guys in his foursome
was actually a fan of his and they're hanging out they're palling around
everything's going
great and then when they were done at the end of the round he asked for a
picture
and the guy's face just dropped and that was it it was over he went from
hanging out with that guy to
be in back in the crowd throwing his panties at him what is my point my point
is i like sleeping in on
um all right let's see what's i don't have anything to talk about today because
i'm just
stuck in a writer's room we just we're doing the table read this morning for
episode uh 307.
well i can't be screaming my daughter's still sleeping my wife's probably gonna
kill me right now on say