Name: Bill Burr - Ex-Girlfriend Hooks Up With Stranger
Uploaded: 2018-01-08T23:24:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ex-Girlfriend Hooks Up With Stranger' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-01-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ex-Girlfriend Hooks Up With Stranger' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-01-08. Transcript available.

all right ex-girlfriend hooks up with stranger at party we both attended
okay hey billy on the back nine of life that's true my girlfriend and i broke
up about four
months ago after an 11 year relationship wow sorry to hear that we share a lot
of the same
friends and i knew we would see each other at a friend's new year's party two
days before the
party my ex hit me up and asked to get a drink and clear the air before seeing
each other for the
first time since the breakup we had an awesome time and we ended up going out
again uh the next
night and at an even better time she then asked if i wanted to share a cab to
and from the new year's
party i agreed well at the party she met a guy and they were all over each
other the entire night oh
god she ended up ditching me and going home with him at the end of the night i
have hooked up with
a few people since the breakup but never in front of my ex and after the
previous two nights i was
absolutely devastated by what she did i would love any advice or insight thanks
and go fuck yourself
well that it really seemed like unless she was completely shit-faced that
really seemed a little
calculated and that right there sir your story right there is why i avoided
staying in contact
with ex-girlfriends um not saying they were all bad but i had a girlfriend like
that an ex
and uh they have like this sixth sense as right as you're starting to get past
and over them
they just feel it they call you up and they just fuck your life your head up
all over again
um here's one for you dude what kind of a person would do that
huh the kind of person that you don't want to put your seed in just know that
that could have been the
you dodged a bullet congratulations sir congratulations okay and i'm willing to
bet
that unless she completely fucks up her life you will not hear from her again
or you will hear from her because she is a sadistic person and wants to hear
your reaction she wants to hear
the pain and get off on it while she goes like well i didn't think there'd be a
problem because we were
broken up so i don't know why you're putting this on me okay i thought we both
had we have nice time
we were adults and the whole time she's just getting off on the fact that you
still give a fuck
so uh dude you dodged a major bull i mean i i would never do that to somebody i
would never
i i wouldn't do that like if uh
you know i i wouldn't do that now i've been with nia forever i if i saw an ex-girl
i would never
fucking i would just whisper nia let's get out of here let's get out of here
you know
let's go someplace a little more quieter i would never do that to somebody that's
just a
fucking asshole male or female to do that to somebody is a really fucking
asshole thing i'm
sorry that happened to you but you know what you know what's great dude she's
out of your life
she's out of your life and you know you know what those people about they're
like those what about
bob people you know remember the beginning of what about bob the therapist gets
bill murray's character away from him dumps him in fucking dreyfus's lap that's
what she's she's the
fucking female version those what about bob people if you can ever dump them
off on other people it's
fucking tremendous and she did it to herself and this is what you do anytime
you ever see her after
that just big smile on your face big smile on your face hey how you doing are
you mad nah no we broken up
good for you you know have the time of your life all right nice seeing you
leave all right and uh now's
a great time dude to expand your horizon find new friends indulge in a fucking
hobby travel get yourself
in great shape go to the gym it's time to you work on you and that person you
is is in the rear view
mirror you know what all she did was give you a great story to tell the love of
your life because that that chick ain't it all right enjoy your 2018 you're a
free man