Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Bill Getting Trashed By Nia
Uploaded: 2018-01-26T14:53:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Bill Getting Trashed By Nia' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Bill Getting Trashed By Nia' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-01-26. Transcript available.

shout out to Sam Rockwell getting nominated for an Oscar yay yeah that's your
family I love when
he was sitting there and that one scene the moon where he just looks over he
goes who's that guy
yeah that's oh yeah I don't ruin it I want to yeah do you got you got to see
moon if you haven't
seen moon yeah all you people lined up to see Star Wars you're making a major
error you want
to go see moon they can see both huh yeah I don't know why I shouldn't start
you know what it's just
it's fun to do it's why I trash feminists because anything that's like taken so
seriously you have
to shit on just you are a fun you have a classic comedian brain you can't just
like be nice about
something like good for them you know standing up for what they believe and I
think that's great
you just have to shit on it like you and positivity are just like something
that I don't know I don't
you're gonna take it all the way to positivity you guys just don't mesh like
you just refuse to allow
positivity into your life you just don't think it's funny and no it's just you
have to break
the tension of somebody telling a story what's someone sharing their story why
is it tense for
you you just can't deal if the attention is not on you so you have to turn it
around and make a joke
and like make fun I agree with everything up until then okay I'll put till then
near attention on me
when I'm on stage off stage I'm not a fucking lampshade on my head guy am I no
you're not I don't
try to take over fucking conversations at parties I usually I'm standing at the
wall and you're like
is everything okay are you having a good time with your resting bitch face yeah
and I'm I'm like
you do have resting bitch face though it's handsome all right but it's bitchy
I know I'm not good at parties okay did he like the dip is he having fun like I
don't know like
yeah like heightened energy heightened energy happiness bothers you yeah I know
celebratory vibes relax people getting along with each other no no not relax
not relaxed not relaxed
it's like the heightened like when people's like oh my god when they're doing
that or when they're clapping
applauding somebody saying what they did was brave and there was no guns
involved there was no life or
death situation but you know it's just sort of your only definition of bravery
yeah like I think it has to
be like you know look they used to be a good for you slap on the back that is
now brave mm-hmm hey this kid
I fucking you know he punched me in the face so I punched him back oh good for
you now it's all that
I was so brave the way you stuck up to that bully no no what would happen now
is he gets punched in the
face and then he makes the video that goes viral about that but you know and
then the bully makes
one and cries and then they delve into that fucking thing and meanwhile there's
a swirl of trash two
miles deep twice two and a half times the size of fucking Texas out there out
in the Pacific Ocean remember
the first toothbrush you ever fucking used it's in there swirling around did
you see that story about I forget
where this fish was Costa Rica maybe but they caught a fish you know they were
fishing and I guess this
guy saw one fish and he thought it looked sick and just weird so he cut it open
and there was all this
garbage inside of the fish yeah it's pretty depressing it's horrifying yeah
yeah and everybody's walking
around calling everybody smiling and enjoying life and bill birds here to let
you know it ain't all
rainbows and sunshine sweetheart what that smile off your face I'm gonna bring
you back down to earth
because that's what I do bill bird truth speaker that's not what I'm saying
killer buzz killer life
ruin her Jesus Christ do you really think I'm that bad you and your dark cloud
can just get off my rainbow
no I'm just kidding good lord um I don't know how the fuck can you see
something like that and then watch
some fucking actor being called brave because they didn't wear makeup in a
movie yeah no of course the
perspective is like yeah hey we're all gonna wear all black tonight and like
nobody thinks about hey
who sewed that shit together there's some fucking little kid in like El
Salvador oh yeah he was all
black right they're fucking beating him with the other yarn
and everybody's all high-fiving about what great people they are wow it's just
funny that's all I'm
doing here okay that's all it is I I look at tv and I shit on everything that I
see it makes me laugh
that's how I do it I it's probably dysfunctional I've been doing really well
this year like you've watched
reality tv and I don't shit on it right I just sit there oddly quiet and I feel
you looking out of the
corner of your eye like why isn't he saying anything well I appreciate you
being able to let me enjoy my
life in peace I know it's hard for you but uh because nothing is more important
than the laugh
um you're really just feeling yourself right now I am I'm now I'm on now I'm
awake now I'm gonna roll
okay let's do this let's do two more hours of this bucket I have to get the
fuck out of here but I
also also I have to go first
yes no this is one of these classic things if I was younger I would bring up
all the shit that you do
and what it's like to live with you but I'm I am an older wiser man and I know
that there there is no
fucking real estate to be gained in that so I'm just gonna sit here in the
pocket and just be like
okay yeah I am impossible to live with I have a question would you like to go
to Paris again you
spoiled brat all right this has been bill getting trashed by his lovely wife oh
it's great you enjoyed
it didn't you I did oh look at peanut well I like to say that I was a good
sport about it just because
it was uh the microphones are on but in about three seconds these things are
gonna be shut off
and if you think I was a tyrant tyrant before