Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Super Bowl Talk
Uploaded: 2018-02-02T16:16:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Super Bowl Talk' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Super Bowl Talk' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-02. Transcript available.

but you know what people you know what it is this sunday do you have any idea
what it is this sunday
it's super bowl sunday super bowl sunday and the new england patriots and they're
unprecedented 10th super bowl are going for their sixth ring do you realize if
tom brady wins
the patriots win i should say right tom brady gets his sixth ring he will have
more
super bowl championships than every franchise in the nfl except for the pittsburgh
steelers
than the entire franchise right now he has more than every franchise that's
what i say to giant
fans when they break my balls hey we beat you twice yeah you did but you know
what tom has more rings
than your franchise in its entire history so i will take those two losses and
you know what if you could
turn the tables and eli could be sitting here with five rings and two losses to
the patriots you'd
take that too why wouldn't you you know everybody takes that deal those
terrorists take that deal
that's the same deal they take with the virgins right what would you rather
have my friend one here
or 80 in the afterlife i'll take the loss i'll take the loss um anyways uh i'll
tell you i'll tell you sunday
oh it's gonna be a rough one everybody i don't know you know every time the
patriots go everybody
oh it's the patriots they're gonna win and they give no i mean the the sports
media does and the
in the average mouth breathing moron gives no respect to the other team as if
they didn't walk through a
whole wall of fire to get where the hell they're at i'll tell you what scares
me the most
about the uh the eagles other than their defense is their running game that's
what scares me and i am
deathly afraid of that in the second half if they sort of established it and
they start chewing up the
clock and start wearing down our front four like darren sproles has like video
game speed
i mean he is literally like a game changer level back and then they got lagarrette
blount which you
know you don't need to tell a patriots fan about how you know clutch that guy
is and nick foals
is not a is not a backup quarterback he's a starting quarterback that lost his
job
and then stepped back in and made it look like why the did you ever put me on
the bench
um i think it's gonna be a uh a really really close game and you know what's
funny people are just like
dude what's it like you know your team's in it almost every year it must be
like no big deal to
you it it's always a big deal and anybody whose team has been in the super bowl
you die a thousand
fucking deaths even if your team wins if your team loses you just have to
fucking
you just can't watch espn or any any sports talk for a week because it's gonna
kill you if you really
care and you're a fan so this is the funny thing i'm doing conan o'brien the
day after the super bowl
so that's either gonna be you know me being elated or our fucking just sitting
there devastated
you know yeah super bowl losses are fucking devastating and you know it's funny
i've gone
to two super bowls i went to the when the patriots lost to brett farve
i was there when brett farve to that first touchdown pass and took his helmet
off and ran down the
field going you know as his agent rubbed his greedy hands together now brett
when you score a
touchdown take your helmet off so the whole world can see what an all-american
guy you are will get
you the wheaties box right that was the game within the game um and i remember
walking out of the superdome
you know having spent all that money you know going back to your hotel room
you're in new orleans everybody's having a good time and you're walking away
like charlie brown
especially me with my big head right and then you got to go to the airport the
next day and just fly
back quietly with all fans from your team you know and you just see another
person also wearing the
same team hat as yours that just lost you just kind of look at each other you
know put your eyebrows
up i mean you had a good season brutal and then i also went to the patriots
versus st louis rams the
greatest show on turf um and when we won and i got to feel that feeling like
floating out of the stadium
hugging complete strangers with the same you know it's it's unreal like the
level of emotion
on that day is going to be crazy so um
i you know what my feeling is for the game i'm just nervous i'm just nervous
like this is going to be i
think it's going to be another classic this is another thing too all these
fucking assholes
you know going oh the patriots it's like the patriots have probably been in
arguably
seven of the top 10 super bowls of all time every one of them has been like a
heart stopper
right other than okay the bears one stunk the um green bay packers one was was
great until
the opening kickoff i believe of the second half when that dude from michigan
ran it back
um but the patriots ramp versus the rams when that game happened they were like
that was the
most exciting super bowl of all time then when we played the panthers with jake
delone you know
that that game was unbelievable the eagles game wasn't that good donovan puked
that kind of ruined
that one right and then the undefeated patriots spy gate all of that and then
the giants with the
greatest run on the road is a wild card team wins the helmet catch all of that
even though we lost
unbelievable game then we played the giants again all right brady to welker
they dropped it heartbreaking
and then eli once again makes an incredible pass you can no longer say that he's
got a horseshoe up his ass
because he did it twice right another great one then the uh the uh the seahawks
wrong bird
are right down on the goal line marshall lynch you know they're gonna give it
to him how the
are the patriots gonna stop again they run a pick route malcolm butler jumps
the route and out of
nowhere game over and then last year the greatest comeback in super bowl
history so if you hate the
patriots because they're in the super bowl again you just basically hate the
patriots because they
they've won so many but there's no way you hate those games what are better
games before all of this
went down the best one i ever saw and still one of my favorite ones of all time
was the cowboys
versus the steelers super bowl 14. um and i actually wonder if that had that
that game has the that game
has to have the most hall of famers in it let's go through it all right franco
harris terry bradshaw
lynn swan john stalworth mike webster lc greenwood this is just the steelers
mean joe green jack ham jack lambert mel blunt that's 10. there's no fucking
this is probably
i bet you'd be hard-pressed to find that 10 on two teams um then the cowboys roger
starback tony dorsett
randy white is drew pearson in i gotta look up the cowboys that are in
who else do they have oh billy's getting old he's getting old did harvey martin
or ed too tall jones
make it in i they must have one other guy five and then the two coaches chuck
knoll and tom landry um
um other than that drop in the end zone which may well that's the only thing
that sucked about that
game bless his heart he's got to be the sickest man in the building uh i
actually lost money on that
game i was in the fourth grade and i bet with this girl that i had a crush on i
bet her a quarter or
something like that like 50 cents or 75 cents i can't remember but it was a big
deal to me 75
cents was a big deal back then that was like three packs of football cards
so anyways i think it's going to be a great game and um
i don't know hopefully we win so i don't have to go undress like a sad clown on
conan but uh
you know and i'm also doing something that i never do i'm going to a super bowl
party but
it's only because i'm a dad now we got this other great couple that you know
they got the cutest kid
ever um so we're going to go over there and watch the game chase our kids
around and all that type
of but uh you know i'm also going to record the game because if we win it i'm
going to want to come
home after uh my daughter goes to sleep and i'm going to want to watch it again
oh it's 37 minutes in you're coming in right at the end mia who do you like in
the in the super
bowl the new england patriots obviously the philadelphia eagles the patriots
well it's going
to be it's going to be an unbelievable game boston gotta root for the patriots
you gotta root for
the patriots yeah tom's going for number six the sixth super bowl ring yep
great that's great yeah
really looking forward to what do you feel like what do you feel like some of
the keys really looking
forward to what are some of the keys to the game well i think what we need is a
strong defense
and you know on the other end we need a good offense as well and you know we
just gotta catch
that ball and just get it into the end zone you know what i mean and when it it's
time to kick that
field goal you just gotta kick it over the goal over the goal i mean that's
what you gotta do right
you know what i mean you gotta be real aggressive you know what i mean you
gotta keep the team
from tackling the guy with the ball running to try to score a touchdown right
and stop those guys who
are trying to stop your guy is what i mean you gotta stop those guys from
stopping your guy and what
do you think the patriots game plan is going to be against the eagles running
game oh my god it's gonna
be really focused it's gonna be like like get in there just get in there and
you know don't take any
you know don't let them score on you man oh god you know what's funny that's
what a lot of super
bowl analysis sounds like after those poor bastards after two weeks that's like
all they got like
yeah i mean they just you gotta score more points i got nothing how much longer
do we gotta sit here
um all right well one of one of the uh people came out to the show last night
was nice enough to get
me a box of cuban cigars wow a box actual cuban cigars actual i mean yeah from
cuba from cuba um
you're gonna smoke them no nia i'm gonna stare at them i'm gonna let them get
all dried out oh you
know what chop them up and put them in my quinoa we should bring one to uh on
sunday to the games i
absolutely am and i hope i'm gonna be able to light it up like red aurebeck in
the fourth quarter
absolutely light it up light it up make it happen just you know and don't take
any all right
that's the podcast everybody enjoy the super bowl uh congratulations to base
both franchises
for getting there yeah okay and i you know it's gonna break my heart if the
patriots lose but i
will tell you this i will actually be happy on another level because the eagles
have never won
one and those you know did you there's a eagles fan crying when carson wentz
went down literally
called a sports talk show got on the phone and started crying when their
starting quarterback went
down he's like you know i mean when's it ever gonna work out for us and the
dude was all weirded
out going you're crying you're crying and then sports fans are very but you
guys are super
passionate like you're crazy like you're a little scary it's all we have for
the most part we're not
good looking our personal lives are not where we want them to be we don't have
the job that we want
it's all we have oh god and and nothing what makes your fucking year is to
predict something and it
actually happens and then you just want people to remember and you just you
just walking around the
sports bar i said it remember i said it it happened and you know you look like
remember that dude who
gets stabbed in the beginning of uh scarface walking around that tent city that
that's what you look
like you just holding your gut doesn't anybody don't i matter anybody um all
right that's it uh that's the
podcast have a great weekend enjoy the super bowl and uh hopefully the patriots
get a win um
i don't know we'll see i am definitely i think there's going to be a really
close gut-wrenching
game all right that's my prediction and then i'll be like i said it all right
see ya