Name: Bill Burr - Opening For Wynonna Judd
Uploaded: 2018-02-02T16:24:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Opening For Wynonna Judd' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Opening For Wynonna Judd' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-02. Transcript available.

laughlin nevada let me tell you that time i did that gig i opened for winona
judd
in a parking lot she was so you know it was she was such a big act
and she was playing love from nevada that they didn't have a venue big enough
for a show
so they just set up seats out in the parking lot like behind the crowd was the
parking garage like i could literally see my rental car while while i was on on
stage bombing
fucking bombing oh was that the time i bought i might have a good set
no the time i was bombing was i opened for winona judd outside again at a race
track like a horse
race track or some i just remember the sun was on it was like an afternoon gig
it's one of those things before you go on say she was great she always treated
me great and everything
like that but people can listen to music during the day but you can't listen to
stand up like outside
when the sun is up stand up it's a nighttime thing it's an indoor thing it's an
evil thing it's it's
an after fucking even eight o'clock feels too early to do my act to be honest
with you um
so i don't know what the time it was it must have been the summer because the
sun was still out and
i'm standing there doing my outside you know you know you're doing your acting
and you're thinking
like oh man i should have put on sunscreen
so i'm on stage and there's lesbians in the crowd right um or the only heterosexual
woman ever with that
haircut was in the crowd she's dressed like gi jane if she stopped working out
right and she the whole
time i'm on stage she's going why no no why no no and she's turning around
trying to get the rest of
the crowd to do it you know you know now thinking right now i realize what a
sexist she was because
i swear to god if i was a female comic she wouldn't have said she would have
given me a chance
the whole set i'm up there trying to do my right what's up with bill clinton
can you believe this cigar you know whatever the i was talking about back then
and she's going why no
no why no no and i finally just stopped and i go hey lady i deliberately said
hey lady because i knew
that would piss her off i go do you think i don't realize why everybody's here
do you think i think that
you know 5 000 people showed up to a race track at three o'clock in the
afternoon
to see me with no tv credits listen why don't a judd is coming out in 15
minutes no matter what
okay i'm not going to forget that and keep doing going and just doing my act
and i kept just went
off on her and people were all you know because it's a country crowd you know
family values everybody's
all polite right dating within their own rice you know and i didn't get the
crowd i didn't turn them
around until i made fun of her haircut and then i did that and then all the
conservative homophobes
actually got outside on my side i actually used homophobia in that desperate
moment
you know i still stand by it i don't feel bad ah well maybe i feel a little bit
bad about it but you
know her she's sexist there you go here's some ugliness right back at you i
still remember her
face you know what she looked like remember that did you see um the was that
show
what's that american horror story do you remember that season when they were in
the insane asylum and then
there was that mutant looking human being with the there was a woman she had
like giant these giant
ears she's actually gorgeous in real life i don't know what the they did cgi'd
some she looked like
i don't know what like like something out of a fairy tale that lived under a
bridge
yet was sort of adorable i don't know that's what this woman looked like with
glasses dressed like gi jane
there you go the monday morning photoshop could not be any easier i just i just
gave you a road map
and she was going wow no no i want to say she had a little rat tail too braided
coming down
i don't know that was one of those gigs where i was just i remember i got off
stage and i just
remember after i'd gone off when i was thinking like oh i'm probably gonna get
fired after this gig
but i don't think anybody really heard it in my mind that moment lasted 20
minutes it probably lasted
all of eight seconds or 10 seconds how long does it take to just decimate
somebody i i don't know
i don't pretend to know