Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Eagle's Fans | Making Cupcakes | First Nude Appearance
Uploaded: 2018-02-11T14:29:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Eagle's Fans | Making Cupcakes | First Nude Appearance' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Eagle's Fans | Making Cupcakes | First Nude Appearance' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-11. Transcript available.

Bill Burr & Nia - Eagle's Fans | Making Cupcakes | First Nude Appearance

hey what's going on it's bill burn it's time for the thursday afternoon just
before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you seeing how your week's
going i know
your week's going great in philly right unless you're not a sports fan then you're
probably
all upset that everybody's all excited running around tearing up the street
signs you know
eating horse shit i felt bad for that philly fan that had to eat horse shit you
know what i mean
it's just all the shit that their fans have gotten you know attention for like
the bar has just been
set so high that this poor bastard that was he was like out of ideas you know
you know where it is as
far as bad behavior you know where philly fans are right now it's kind of like
remember when they did
the dunking contest every year in the all-star game and at first it was amazing
you know somebody just
like takes off in the foul line it's like holy shit you know the next thing you
know you got to have
like some fucking quivering fucking woman standing there you got to jump and
your balls have to just
scrape the top of her fucking head while you covered your eyes like d brown you
know that's kind of like
where eagles fans and flyers fans all philly fans are as far as like how the
fuck are we going to get
on espn this time what are we going to do throw up on a kid i already did that
what are we going to do
punch an old lady in the cunt ah we've been doing that since the 70s what the
fuck oh my god there's a
pilot horse shit ah turn on your fucking video camera
that didn't even make sense i'm not going to put that on eagles fans i'm not
going to put that on
philly i'm that is an individual act that guy wanted to do that shit for the
longest time he just needed
an excuse you know what i mean
it's like all of us most of us have never eaten another human being right but
put in the right
situation you'd fucking do it right what was that movie alive plane crashes in
the rocky mountains
you know they're right next to aspen but they're all rich
so they're not going to help out they wouldn't give them a sandwich and next
thing you know
they're eating each other does this have to do with eating why the fuck did
this have to do with
eating horse shit i was trying to think where they actually landed where was it
they didn't land they
crashed i would actually be upset if i survived that you know like you're like
oh fuck i'm gonna die
right and then you fucking survive me on top of that mountain freezing your
fucking ass off then you
wish you did um anyways anyways um i actually was finally able to look at some
of the highlights
because i really wanted to see eagles fans celebrating i just couldn't handle
it because
they beat my team and um i believe i said you know on the podcast and towards
the end of december
that if the patriots get bounced out of the playoffs i was gonna root for the
fucking eagles
just because you know they had won one like i said i really don't have anything
i wanted to say
i forgot to say that on conan because so many people fucking reached out you
know twitter and
all of this crap because of my philly rant thinking i really didn't want the eagles
to
ever win one and all of it it's just i got booed in philly i made fun of philly
if i got booed
in texas i would have made fun of pickup trucks and women who wear too much
makeup you know when
you're dumb fucking boots huh walking around all right if you got a flat screen
tv you're not
a fucking cowboy all right you look like you're on your way to a gay bar i
would have said
something like that in texas that's what i would have done oh look who's here
the lovely knee uh
the are you eating what are those things called panoramas all right take it
down a bit take it down
a bit hey that's when you know your wife's here hey what are you having a good
time take it down
a bit i'm eating pomegranate seeds i'm eating pomegranate seeds i heard they're
good for my ovaries
they're my lady parts they do i heard i read that they're supposed to shine up
your vag lips over there
oh baby you know what's weird that's a weird segue you know a year ago or so
when i didn't have a kid
oh we'll go back a year and a half when you didn't get yourself knocked up
right um i would just be
walking around the house i would be singing whatever contemporary that you know
you
were listening to you know this is that white gold and michelle fiver that's
something right i'll be
singing that right okay but now that we have a kid i'm down there brushing my
teeth going whoa
vampirina i may be blue with pointy teeth whoa vampirina but i'm not so
different underneath
yeah what happened what happened to me uh pop pop pop puppy dog
what's when they're going when they go on the adventure how does the song go
going on a mission going on a mission that's it going on a mission going on a
mission that's true
all about oh what oh i was that's why i brought you on yeah yeah those are me
undies me undies sent
matching matching underwears i love it these are so cute what's what's on this
a taco with hot sauce
you get it do you need me explain that we're wearing these on valentine's day
are they making
me fun of fun of me for being a redhead are they making me fun well they're
making me fun of me for
being a redhead with the with the hot sauce did you see the text that i sent
you that now they're
going to have redhead emojis in june uh yeah which i just think is going to
lead to more redheaded
hate the thing about being a redhead is what you want to do is not stand next
to another redhead
you want to sort of like fade into the background but you know what you don't
really you're not going
to use those but they also have um bald bald emojis do they have a bald with a
red beard i don't know
if the baldy has facial hair when am i ever going to fit in my whole life when
oh when are you ever
going to be represented no you realize how difficult it is to be a redheaded
white male it's so close to
the brass ring but those blue-blooded what they won't let me in oh jesus i am
like the i'm like
the runt of the litter the one that the mother rejects yeah you're the real
underdog um i hate
when you do you yeah you're the real uh underdog why don't you just do a giant
eye roll with that
there it is a meme level it looks beautiful outside so why don't you put on
your underwear nini i want
to see you in those i want to wear it on valentine's day we have to both wear
on valentine's day no we
don't why that's why they gave me because i'm gonna i'm an adult and i can make
my own choices despite
the fact that you know something what's killing me can you just wear your taco
underwear can you just
have a little fun and not be so uptight did you just say uptight like we're in
a black and white
comedy movie here he's white and she's black she teaches up to loosen up huh
you're really uptight
you're uh i'm not uptight i'm a control freak i don't like people telling me
what to do that means
you're uptight if you're a control freak that means you're uptight no it doesn't
yeah it does are black
people uptight because they're sick of white people running and what does that
have to
do with anything control didn't janet jackson do a whole album about that
why am i here because i want you to see the matching underwear i thought you'd
have fun
with it rather than put demands on isn't it enough that i have to pay for the
whole evening we're
celebrating our relationship where is your contribution oh yeah but you're
supposed to
do that you're supposed to do that valentine's day blowy yeah but you're
supposed to want to do that
that's that cost you no money and you're burning calories ridiculous burning
calories what do you
what that's an aerobic exercise if done correctly oh i guess whoa getting a
blowy don't we are wearing
matching underwears don't don't fuse those two worlds together i will and i
just did
it's because of that world that you now have a new world
okay there you go okay hey by the way a lovely little one um
she uh she took her first steps this week oh it was awesome i'm gonna start
crying yeah she did
it's funny you're gonna start crying i wanted to film it and then put aerosmith's
walk this way
underneath it every time she falls that dead and when you hit the snares when
she falls down on her
ass so cute she was so proud of herself too and i didn't realize babies get
like proud of themselves
yeah like when she learns how to do stuff she looks over and smiles like huh
yeah look at me
you're seeing this you're checking this out so cute um anyways well let's get
down to what everybody's
talking about the scandalous interview by uh quincy jones nia oh jesus christ
iconic interview
i didn't like it of course you didn't
what do you like bill what what is popular that you actually enjoy what do you
mean there's a bunch of
shit that i like little chocolate cupcakes i don't like it oh look a basket
full of puppies i hate it
no that's true i like cupcakes i actually know how to make them and i've made
you some
and i love dogs you've never made me a cupcake you put that microphone that's
exactly what i just said
excuse me there's no need for that i drove all over the la basin trying to find
you a yellow cupcake with
chocolate frosting and it didn't exist and i went out and i made them for you
you don't remember that
you have never in your life made me cupcakes this is in los angeles or in new york
this is here like
when the last within the last two years
give me that microphone you're off the podcast no wait you're off the podcast i
don't remember
unbelievable you made it you went out and bought me cupcakes like late at night
when i'd have like
cupcake cravings but you've never made because that would mean you'd make like
a dozen cupcakes because
that's how many were in the pan yeah and you frosted them and everything yeah i
don't remember this
are you with me right no go into the cupboard and go look there's a cupcake
tray why would i have one
of those that's right there it is guys and what i've said for years you know
what you're only as good
as the last act it doesn't mean to them you know the patriots are always just
pushing all pros out
the door liners are in there too yeah yeah that's right wow well guess who's
not making cupcakes
anymore or maybe i should film it will you make some for valentine's day no why
because you're not
going to remember and then you come on the podcast you never made red velvet
ones and meanwhile i'm wearing
matching underwear i'm playing the game i'm playing the game right and then i
make you cupcakes you
don't even remember how dare you you look gorgeous though by the way oh nini's
been hitting the gym
and i've been noticing i'm trying to keep it together keep together keep
together you know my issue is that
was all positive right there i made you cupcakes i said you're looking good all
of that this is what i
didn't like about quincy jones he was talking about people who were dead and
then everybody took
everything he said is fact and it's like you didn't notice halfway through he's
going i know who killed
kennedy oh well you should have told oliver stone he wouldn't have wasted all
that
time making that movie when he could have just called you up um i just like
when he said when
you go for the money god walks out the room that's what like as far as all that
gossip about everybody
else it's like dude once you grow up huh well who goes around doing that who
used to steal songs you
didn't say that when you were making records with them if you're still alive
tell all the stories this
is what i'm telling you reminds me of so many people in my family old people in
my family they just they
don't give a they're just telling stories about everybody this person did this
and this person did
this and back in the day it was that because what do they have to lose they're
not you know fearful of
being politically correct let me get this straight you're not supposed to be
you're supposed to you're
not supposed to be a snitc