Name: Bill Burr | Wife Believes In Ghosts
Uploaded: 2018-04-04T14:17:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Wife Believes In Ghosts' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Wife Believes In Ghosts' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-04. Transcript available.

um wife believes in ghosts oh jesus dare billy burger basket um i love my wife
dearly and on
most topics we are in agreement but recently something has come between us she
believes in
ghosts and i do not uh dude fucking let it go who gives a shit okay as long as
she's not trying to
talk to him and acting like whoopi goldberg and saying that they're entering
her body
but even then if she does that you just dedicate one of your rooms to that and
just have her
fucking make money off of other dopes that believe what she's doing is real
anyways i'm not so bothered by her belief sure it's a bit kooky but she's free
to do it and so
it's not hurting anyone all right there you go the problem is is that she's
offended that i don't
believe in ghosts as well oh gee look at that i gave you a lecture and you were
already fucking
you were already where i was telling you to go it's like okay you believe in
ghosts good for you but i
don't fine oh gross is there anything worse than cold tea sorry i just started
coughing i had to
take a little swig there um i stopped believing in ghosts around the same time
i stopped believing
in santa claus and the easter bunny back when i was a kid so when a full-grown
adult tells me they see
spirits i can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with them mentally
she is afraid to go to the
restroom at a certain restaurant in our town because there's a story about it
being haunted
she says the last time she went in there she felt an eerie chill but it's a
drafty bathroom in a 90
year old building for christ's sake she also has this old photograph she took
through a window
at an abandoned mental hospital that she claims shows a ghost face when i look
at it i only saw blurry
bullshit i tried to be nice about it but i think she felt like i was calling
her stupid or crazy when i
didn't see it when i didn't see it too i didn't want to lie about it besides
she would know if i was
lying anyways i don't know how to approach this topic without upsetting her do
you have any advice
for me yours truly um this guy left his fucking name i don't know if this is a
reference to somebody
uh a movie uh a movie let me see
yes this has got to be somebody uh this has to be a movie joke
oh dr peter venkman oh okay this is bill murray's character in ghostbusters
okay hilarious all right
um i don't know how to approach this topic without upsetting her do you have
any advice for me yours
yes truly dr peter venkman uh yeah don't bring up the topic
don't bring up the topic and uh
you know i i would just
i would just be like look i get it you believe in ghosts and i don't
uh don't say it like that just be like i respect the fact that you believe in
ghosts
and um i don't and if the tables were turned and there was something that i
believed in and you
didn't i would respect the fact that you didn't and uh rather than you know
getting upset with you
okay you see ghosts evidently you are born with a power that i was not giving
so you should feel
thankful for that that you're able to see these things i am a mere mortal oh
don't say that because
then that's passive aggressive i'm the worst something along those lines and
just say listen
i love everything about you and we get along great but i i just feel like there's
this tension
about this that that you're trying to force me to feel something that i don't
feel and i don't
think that that's what you do to somebody you love and i wouldn't do that to
you okay so come on over here
and if there's not a ghost between us could you give me a hug
and if there's not a ghost between us could you give me a hug
and if there's not a ghost between us could you give me a hug
and if there's not a ghost between us could you give me a hug
and if there's not a ghost between us could you give me a hug
something along those lines