Name: Bill Burr | Acetate
Uploaded: 2018-04-04T14:47:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Acetate' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Acetate' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-04. Transcript available.

All right, MVMT, movement.
Here's my problem with sunglasses.
I didn't know I had a problem with sunglasses.
Why are you putting words in my mouth?
I got all these cheap pairs that look terrible.
No, I don't. I have nice pairs.
But every time I buy a $200 pair, I feel like I get ripped off.
That's not what I feel.
Here's my problem with sunglasses.
Okay, if you buy a fucking cheap pair, they don't do anything.
You're still squinting behind them.
Now your face is all mushed up, wearing sunglasses.
You look like a fucking asshole, and they're digging into the right above your
ear and your scalp.
But then if you buy a nice expensive pair, then you got to sit there going like,
Oh my God, oh my God, what if I lose it?
What if I sit on them?
And inevitably, that fucking happens.
Okay, movement.
That's what I feel about fucking sunglasses.
How dare you put words in my mouth?
And I don't feel like I got ripped off if I paid $200.
I feel like a fucking asshole when I lose them.
All right, well, our friends at Movement, yeah, the watch guys, they kind of
felt the same way.
Oh, I didn't know if they agreed with me.
So they thought, screw it.
I think they thought, fuck it.
How about we make quality, trendy glasses at a fair price?
These things aren't plastic.
They acetate?
You can get them polarized?
Is that a word?
Ass tape?
Ace tape?
I got to add that word.
I'm going to fuck it.
It's a goal of mine today to throw that word in with my wife.
See, what the fuck?
What the fuck does that mean?
Dude, do you ever look up a fucking word on Wikipedia?
What is that writing when you're trying to figure out how to spell it?
It looks like it's in Russian.
It's a salt formed by a combination of acetic acid with an alkaline, earthy,
metallic base.
Fuck this.
I don't give up.
I don't need to know what it means.
I just know how to say it.
Nobody knows what this fucking word means.
You just say it.
People are like, wow, that guy's smart.
Look at his custom lining on his suit.
All right, here we go.
Ready, everybody?
It's this thing, okay?
If you're a supporter of this podcast, you have to work this word in into your
day with somebody that you know very well,
who's going to know that you have no idea what this fucking word means.
And your goal is to try and fucking play it off like you've always had this in
your arsenal.
Like this was part of your fucking pitching rotation.
Here we go.
Come on, say it.
Acetate.
Acetate.
Acetate.
You fucking.
Acetate.
There you go.
Kind of sounds like an asshole, doesn't it?
You fucking acetate.
Acetate.
Acetate.
Acetate.
How creepy is this?
This is like it's the end of the world and that's like some warning in the
future.
You know, everybody get the fuck out of here.
You can't go down when it's been blocked off.
I'm telling you right now, what's this coming out of here?
Acetate.
I think we just lost Mike.
All right.
Sorry about that.
That was my version of like alien.
All you need in the background, that acetate.
Acetate is that.
Ahoga.
Ahoga.
What's going on here?
Acetate effects.
Well, I like learning stuff when they when they have music that makes you not
think.
Look, look at this.
Listen to this shit.
Hi, stampers.
Welcome to.
That has got to be the worst fucking fade down ever of anything.
Listen to this.
Oh, wow.
I'm going to learn something.
Hi, stampers.
Welcome to my craft.
Jesus Christ.
How about a nice little fade down?
Hey, stampers.
Today, I'm going to teach you about how acetate.
Acetate.
In the future, someday, when you're dumb enough to buy a fucking robot, one day
when it has
a glitch and you come walking in there and it has an even weirder robot
expression on
its face and you're like, hey, what's up there?
Fucking R2D2.
And it's just looking at you going acetate.
Acetate.
Acetate.
Why are you saying that, man?
Slowly walking towards you.
Acetate.
Anyways, what the fuck was I talking about?
So, sunglasses.
They have lots of styles to choose from.
Wait.
These things aren't plastic.
They acetate.
Acetate.
Acetate.
You can get them polarized and they start at just $70.
They are seriously my go-to shades.
I don't even have a fucking pair yet.
Send them to me.
I want these things.
Hey, Bill, where'd you get those sunglasses?
I'm just going to stare at them like the fucking Terminator.
Acetate.
Acetate.
They are high quality, premium acetate.
Acetate.
Acetate frames.
No cheap plastic here.
You got to see these.
They have lots of styles to choose from.
Classic.
Trendy, round, aviator.
Mirrored.
Polarized.
I love guns.
Fuck it.
That's polarized.
For him and for her.
You're sure to find the perfect pair.
Get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com
slash burr.
You know about movement for how they've revolutionized the watch industry.
They've already done that.
This is like a fighter that's moving up in weight class.
They already got that belt.
Now they're going to go for the next one.
Now's the time to check out their sunglasses.
Go to mvmt.com slash burr.
That's mv as in victor.
M-T as in toodaloo.com slash burr.
Join the movement.
Acetate.
Acetate.
Do you hear somebody screaming?
Oh, she's got the cartoons on.
I saw some weird lady came in the fucking room.
In the house.
I mean, hang on a second.
I've got to turn that down a little bit.
A little bit, a little bit, a little bit.
Hey, ladies.
Can you guys just turn that down just a little bit?
I'm trying to acetate my podcast.
You're having a nice black person with a few laughs.
I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to acetate this thing here to get it done.
All right?
I don't know what that means.
What's that?
I don't know what that word means.
You don't know what acetate means?
I don't care.
I don't know if you could hear that.
I used acetate like two or three times.
And she just looks up.
She goes, I don't know what that word means.
And I don't care to.
So there you go.
That's right.
You know?
That's a good one to use on your lady.
She'll think that you're fucking moving on.
You know?
Is he getting smart?
Acetate.
Get the fuck off me!
See, right there.
That's what I want to work on.
My temper.
I was just literally trying to bring the cord around my foot.
And I couldn't do it because I'm not flexible enough.
And I just said, get the fuck off me like it was a person.
There's something wrong about that.
Amen.