Name: Bill Burr | Dumped by Aggressively Woke Girlfriend
Uploaded: 2020-07-10T11:00:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Dumped by Aggressively Woke Girlfriend' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Dumped by Aggressively Woke Girlfriend' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-10. Transcript available.

aggressively woke girlfriend dumped me all right dear billy the i hate when you
guys give me
nicknames that i don't understand bella because i feel like it's a good joke
and i'm ruining it
bella cosco binging bitch now i gotta look up bella cosco the fuck is that is
this something
that i should know is there something i should know all right b-e-l-i-c-o-s-o
battle of cosco oh traditionally a short pyramid shaped cigar with a shorter
more rounded taper
at the head uh is that what i call a torpedo oh i like it oh there you go there
you go i get it
well torpedo i think is the other ones that are tapered at both ends all right
why are you bringing
up cigars you make me fucking go smoke here right uh i thought they said my tits
it says my title
is a bit of a is a bit of clickbait but i got you this far so no regrets um
oh it's a bit of clickbait
well andrew reed sees so i mean if this is just a long boring one because i
usually find that that's
what clickbait is it's just fucking boring all right my girlfriend or i guess
my ex-girlfriend
now is a very good person and absolutely beautiful brilliant and caring
ah fuck i'm sorry i can't stop yawning here we are in medical school together
and we're dating for two years everything was great initially we had oh my god
can you imagine
the combined student loan debt you guys would have we had deep conversations
and were each other's
best friends so when it came time to pick a hospital for rotations we chose one
in her hometown
and decided to move in together what could go wrong this sounds great so far
she was actually the stronger
voice in asking for the move for the move in i was down to do it but i didn't
want
to upset her old school catholic parents because i figured that i should be
on their good side if i proposed in a year or two that said for the past few
months she has gotten more
more progressive to an intense degree we started having political fights and i
really didn't
feel heard i'm left wing but not as far as her oh for example my dad's mentally
handicapped cousin
he had a virus when he was little that messed up his brain runs a liquor store
in this state that i'm not
going to say i just don't like getting people in trouble here uh it got burned
down on the second night
of protesting writing after the george floyd after george floyd got murdered
our classmates were talking
about police violence on our school message board so i posted that i'm all for
black lives matter
and the message um systematic racism is awful and needs to be stopped but this
violence has gotten out
of hand and needs to end i just asked for things to be done peacefully yeah
well you're kind of confusing
the rioters with the black lives matter people that were protesting you know
and you're always going to
have morons all right there's people on the right politically that you can have
a conversation with
and then there's fucking morons running around with their dick out in their
four-wheeler talking about
freedom right and then you got on the left you got fucking people that you can
intelligent people you
can have a fucking conversation with and then you get these fucking uh i don't
know what the
fuck you want to call them these people like you know you should dress your son
in pink and give
him a fucking flower just like i don't know what the fuck they're talking about
all right she then
comes over to me in our bedroom and launches into this thing about how saying
that i'm
diminishing the movement and i need to not say these things to other people
yeah see this is where it gets
that you what you shouldn't say what you feel um how i need to understand the
pain of black people
the pain black people are going through and offer support how it's not time for
my comments because
i'm white and have never had never felt systematic oppression uh on on my side
i'm pissed my dad and
uncle are now taking care of their cousin who has had very little income due to
covid and now doesn't
even have a shop plus there's some issues with insurance because being covered
for fire and theft
is different from being covered for a riot i don't really get the financial
details but i do know
that my dad has had to postpone his retirement because of all of this he's 70
years old and is still
working to provide for my family of seven i told her i have a right to be angry
and voice my opinions too
i also pointed out that calling for peace is not disagreeing with pro the
protesters message
uh i'm jewish and have experienced my fair share of anti-semitism the anger i
feel towards anti-semites
would never be an excuse to commit a violent act against someone um
okay but in fairness like the level of violence towards black i don't think
that jewish people
just get pulled over for being jewish you know i mean historically obviously
you've been through
some but you know as far as your existence in this country you know what i mean
if you're gonna if
you're gonna if you're gonna look at like march madness you know what are you
ranked in the brackets
all right i would say you're about an 11 seat
um anyways we've had other fights over things like feminism
uh 16th seed um oh jesus i'm gonna get for this i'm all for equally uh equality
between sexes and
want to do my part like taking on more child rearing responsibility when i have
kids hey be careful with
that buddy be careful with this because these smart ass women have basically
downloaded a bunch of
shit that they don't want to do anymore and have not uploaded any of our jobs
so the guys kept all of
their jobs and now are picking up their shifts also and then they're sitting
over there they won't
even make you a sandwich anymore um anyways but i refuse to label myself as a
feminist because i think
there's a lot of negative man-hating ideologies associated with that group it
absolutely is
they're guilty of a lot of the things that they're against not cool feminists
ones you can actually
talk to they're very rare like a cool sports fan that could admit that his team
uh you know got beat
by a better team it's very rare you know i'm a bit of a cunt when it comes to
being a sports fan um
i'm just a bit of a cunt in general anyways uh she is firm that if i support
women i need to label
myself as a feminist this fucking chick dude fuck this chick fuck this chick
otherwise i'm denigrating
her beliefs i responded that i am a firm supporter of israel's right to exist
but i would never label
myself as a zionist because i think the treatment of the palestinians has been
horrendous all right
dude you're really coming off like a level-headed person here um granted i
haven't been able to hear
what your uh your hormone says here your property kidding uh this all came to a
head the other day
when after another one of these political fights she dumped me and went back to
her parents place
now i'm paying the full rent on an apartment that's way out of my price range
because she insisted on a
two-bedroom in a city where i don't know anybody i'm thousands of miles from my
friends and family
and as a kicker her dad is a chief is a chief attending at the hospital we're
going to be rotating at
and either he or one of his colleagues he will be directly in control of my
first clerkship grade
he's a very nice guy and has always been kind to me but i still feel like i'm
fucked i have no idea
how he interpreted our breakup and obviously had no control and obviously have
no control over his
response the worst part is i miss her a lot and i'm more sad than angry uh
underneath all of this
i think the wealth stuff is an excuse to be mad at me yeah i was kind of saying
this is sort of a weird
thing to break up with somebody over so she either wanted to do it or just went
off the deep end which
happens to people i went off the deep end in the late 2000s early to go back
and listen to those podcasts
and i was just talking about the federal reserve and all of this crazy
shit still don't think i'm wrong but i mean that's that's not a place you want
to be mentally and it
just wears people out around you um anyways she has been upset about my lack of
effort in our
relationship for a few months she constantly comments on how i don't take her
on dates anymore
which has been hard to do with covid but honestly i have no excuse dude yes you
do you're in
fucking medical school you're in a two-bedroom expensive fucking goddamn thing
you guys are
both buried in fucking student loans the fuck is wrong with this person i i don't
know dude i i think
you know once you get past this bullshit you listen if if you have a shot in
hell at making a relationship
work you got to find a sweetheart all right yeah this this is uh this is the
way you've written this
this is nuts um anyways i could have done more and i could have been more
invested i
fucked up in that regard also her parents are very religious so i think moving
in with me was a culture
shock and although she was the only one really pushing for the move-in i think
it got scary because
that leap is a huge separation from her parents and her childhood culture
anyways any advice you or nia
could lend would be much appreciated i have no idea what i'm going to do for
the next year i'm going to
tell you exactly what the fuck you're going to do all right you're going to go
down to that hospital
and regardless of how her fucking dad treats you you're going to absolutely
crush it that's what you're
going to do okay and what you're going to prove to that man is that her
daughter was out of her
fucking mind to break up with you now i'm not saying brown nose i'm just saying
go in there
and fucking kick the shit out of the job i would even maybe i don't know
address what happened
just be like hey sorry things didn't work i mean she dumped you though so i don't
know i would just go
in there it's a year of your life kick ass at the fucking job no matter what
mind game if the guy
decides to play a mind game which would be really fucking childish all right
but you never know a
dad with his daughter who the fuck knows right he might even been behind the
breakup you have no
fucking idea or or there's a whole other way he might know that she's out of
her fucking mind who knows
all right but i wouldn't bring any fucking baggage call the guy doctor so-and-so
whatever you know
something if he wants to fucking bring it up let him fucking bring it up and uh
i would like i said
i would just absolutely fucking crush it there you know you can always break a
lease
you can always get a fucking roommate i'm sure you're gonna meet somebody get a
fucking roommate do
not fucking get another girlfriend this quick and get him in there i wouldn't
do that either i would
just get another fucking roommate you know i don't know do the prison workout
keep yourself in shape
and uh i don't know if you still really like this chick maybe keep like a
fucking open mind but i
you know you definitely got to draw some lines and get some boundaries if you're
going to get back
together all right just tell us straight up like listen you were a sweetheart
and i wanted to spend
the rest of my life with you and i definitely dropped the ball in some areas
which i believe we've
covered you know because god knows she read you the riot act but you can
reiterate them so she can feel
validated and then you can delve into her and just be like yeah listen you know
this world
according to garb fucking lunatic that you've gone on to i don't she's not
gonna understand that
reference whatever the references okay you know i haven't arrived i am a human
being and i have all
emotions and i have access to all of them and i have a right to feel them okay
and if i extend that
courtesy to you you need to extend it to me and that's it and if i can be adult
enough to listen to
your opinion that i do not agree with okay but i'll be mature enough to
understand that you're allowed
to have that opinion then you need to do that to me and if you can't do that i'm
not starting this over
again and i'll tell you this right now buddy that's the best you're going to do
with that one
all right because this happens with people as they they get into and they go
off the fucking deep end god knows i've done it um and it's not fair to the
people in your life
so sorry that happened to you good luck but here's the thing dude at the end of
all of this
fucking shit you're going to be a doctor okay and it's always sad right after
somebody breaks up with
you but you never know you might get back together or you might not get back
together and one day you're
going to sit back and be like what the was i doing in that thing putting up
with that level of
bullshit telling me what i can and can't think i mean that chick is out of her
mind the way you wrote it
you know although you're not allowed to say that nowadays you're supposed to
say that she's really
strong you know what it was you weren't a strong enough man to handle her
telling you what your
fucking opinion should be jesus christ what kind of world are we living in what
kind of world are we
living in that gets taken away from people you know some of this bull like i
don't know i try
to dance around this shit because i don't want to get involved in this stuff
but you know
i i don't get this i i just i don't understand what the goes on with these uh
i don't we'll just leave it that with this whole woke thing this whole woke
thing remember that that
was like uh like black people came up with that and somehow white people hijacked
it it's just a way to
to fucking you know it's just this way to just show what a great person they
are with without really
doing anything
you

Bill Burr | Dumped by Aggressively Woke Girlfriend

aggressively woke girlfriend dumped me all right dear billy the i hate when you
guys give me
nicknames that i don't understand bella because i feel like it's a good joke
and i'm ruining it
bella cosco binging bitch now i gotta look up bella cosco the fuck is that is
this something
that i should know is there something i should know all right b-e-l-i-c-o-s-o
battle of cosco oh traditionally a short pyramid shaped cigar with a shorter
more rounded taper
at the head uh is that what i call a torpedo oh i like it oh there you go there
you go i get it
well torpedo i think is the other ones that are tapered at both ends all right
why are you bringing
up cigars you make me fucking go smoke here right uh i thought they said my tits
it says my title
is a bit of a is a bit of clickbait but i got you this far so no regrets um
oh it's a bit of clickbait
well andrew reed sees so i mean if this is just a long boring one because i
usually find that that's
what clickbait is it's just fucking boring all right my girlfriend or i guess
my ex-girlfriend
now is a very good person and absolutely beautiful brilliant and caring
ah fuck i'm sorry i can't stop yawning here we are in medical school together
and we're dating for two years everything was great initially we had oh my god
can you imagine
the combined student loan debt you guys would have we had deep conversations
and were each other's
best friends so when it came time to pick a hospital for rotations we chose one
in her hometown
and decided to move in together what could go wrong this sounds great so far
she was actually the stronger
voice in asking for the move for the move in i was down to do it but i didn't
want
to upset her old school catholic parents because i figured that i should be
on their good side if i proposed in a year or two that said for the past few
months she has gotten more
more progressive to an intense degree we started having political fights and i
really didn't
feel heard i'm left wing but not as far as her oh for example my dad's mentally
handicapped cousin
he had a virus when he was little that messed up his brain runs a liquor store
in this state that i'm not
going to say i just don't like getting people in trouble here uh it got burned
down on the second night
of protesting writing after the george floyd after george floyd got murdered
our classmates were talking
about police violence on our school message board so i posted that i'm all for
black lives matter
and the message um systematic racism is awful and needs to be stopped but this
violence has gotten out
of hand and needs to end i just asked for things to be done peacefully yeah
well you're kind of confusing
the rioters with the black lives matter people that were protesting you know
and you're always going to
have morons all right there's people on the right politically that you can have
a conversation with
and then there's fucking morons running around with their dick out in their
four-wheeler talking about
freedom right and then you got on the left you got fucking people that you can
intelligent people you
can have a fucking conversation with and then you get these fucking uh i don't
know what the
fuck you want to call them these people like you know you should dress your son
in pink and give
him a fucking flower just like i don't know what the fuck they're talking about
all right she then
comes over to me in our bedroom and launches into this thing about how saying
that i'm
diminishing the movement and i need to not say these things to other people
yeah see this is where it gets
that you what you shouldn't say what you feel um how i need to understand the
pain of black people
the pain black people are going through and offer support how it's not time for
my comments because
i'm white and have never had never felt systematic oppression uh on on my side
i'm pissed my dad and
uncle are now taking care of their cousin who has had very little income due to
covid and now doesn't
even have a shop plus there's some issues with insurance because being covered
for fire and theft
is different from being covered for a riot i don't really get the financial
details but i do know
that my dad has had to postpone his retirement because of all of this he's 70
years old and is still
working to provide for my family of seven i told her i have a right to be angry
and voice my opinions too
i also pointed out that calling for peace is not disagreeing with pro the
protesters message
uh i'm jewish and have experienced my fair share of anti-semitism the anger i
feel towards anti-semites
would never be an excuse to commit a violent act against someone um
okay but in fairness like the level of violence towards black i don't think
that jewish people
just get pulled over for being jewish you know i mean historically obviously
you've been through
some but you know as far as your existence in this country you know what i mean
if you're gonna if
you're gonna if you're gonna look at like march madness you know what are you
ranked in the brackets
all right i would say you're about an 11 seat
um anyways we've had other fights over things like feminism
uh 16th seed um oh jesus i'm gonna get for this i'm all for equally uh equality
between sexes and
want to do my part like taking on more child rearing responsibility when i have
kids hey be careful with
that buddy be careful with this because these smart ass women have basically
downloaded a bunch of
shit that they don't want to do anymore and have not uploaded any of our jobs
so the guys kept all of
their jobs and now are picking up their shifts also and then they're sitting
over there they won't
even make you a sandwich anymore um anyways but i refuse to label myself as a
feminist because i think
there's a lot of negative man-hating ideologies associated with that group it
absolutely is
they're guilty of a lot of the things that they're against not cool feminists
ones you can actually
talk to they're very rare like a cool sports fan that could admit that his team
uh you know got beat
by a better team it's very rare you know i'm a bit of a cunt when it comes to
being a sports fan um
i'm just a bit of a cunt in general anyways uh she is firm that if i support
women i need to label
myself as a feminist this fucking chick dude fuck this chick fuck this chick
otherwise i'm denigrating
her beliefs i responded that i am a firm supporter of israel's right to exist
but i would never label
myself as a zionist because i think the treatment of the palestinians has been
horrendous all right
dude you're really coming off like a level-headed person here um granted i
haven't been able to hear
what your uh your hormone says here your property kidding uh this all came to a
head the other day
when after another one of these political fights she dumped me and went back to
her parents place
now i'm paying the full rent on an apartment that's way out of my price range
because she insisted on a
two-bedroom in a city where i don't know anybody i'm thousands of miles from my
friends and family
and as a kicker her dad is a chief is a chief attending at the hospital we're
going to be rotating at
and either he or one of his colleagues he will be directly in control of my
first clerkship grade
he's a very nice guy and has always been kind to me but i still feel like i'm
fucked i have no idea
how he interpreted our breakup and obviously had no control and obviously have
no control over his
response the worst part is i miss her a lot and i'm more sad than angry uh
underneath all of this
i think the wealth stuff is an excuse to be mad at me yeah i was kind of saying
this is sort of a weird
thing to break up with somebody over so she either wanted to do it or just went
off the deep end which
happens to people i went off the deep end in the late 2000s early to go back
and listen to those podcasts
and i was just talking about the federal reserve and all of this crazy
shit still don't think i'm wrong but i mean that's that's not a place you want
to be mentally and it
just wears people out around you um anyways she has been upset about my lack of
effort in our
relationship for a few months she constantly comments on how i don't take her
on dates anymore
which has been hard to do with covid but honestly i have no excuse dude yes you
do you're in
fucking medical school you're in a two-bedroom expensive fucking goddamn thing
you guys are
both buried in fucking student loans the fuck is wrong with this person i i don't
know dude i i think
you know once you get past this bullshit you listen if if you have a shot in
hell at making a relationship
work you got to find a sweetheart all right yeah this this is uh this is the
way you've written this
this is nuts um anyways i could have done more and i could have been more
invested i
fucked up in that regard also her parents are very religious so i think moving
in with me was a culture
shock and although she was the only one really pushing for the move-in i think
it got scary because
that leap is a huge separation from her parents and her childhood culture
anyways any advice you or nia
could lend would be much appreciated i have no idea what i'm going to do for
the next year i'm going to
tell you exactly what the fuck you're going to do all right you're going to go
down to that hospital
and regardless of how her fucking dad treats you you're going to absolutely
crush it that's what you're
going to do okay and what you're going to prove to that man is that her
daughter was out of her
fucking mind to break up with you now i'm not saying brown nose i'm just saying
go in there
and fucking kick the shit out of the job i would even maybe i don't know
address what happened
just be like hey sorry things didn't work i mean she dumped you though so i don't
know i would just go
in there it's a year of your life kick ass at the fucking job no matter what
mind game if the guy
decides to play a mind game which would be really fucking childish all right
but you never know a
dad with his daughter who the fuck knows right he might even been behind the
breakup you have no
fucking idea or or there's a whole other way he might know that she's out of
her fucking mind who knows
all right but i wouldn't bring any fucking baggage call the guy doctor so-and-so
whatever you know
something if he wants to fucking bring it up let him fucking bring it up and uh
i would like i said
i would just absolutely fucking crush it there you know you can always break a
lease
you can always get a fucking roommate i'm sure you're gonna meet somebody get a
fucking roommate do
not fucking get another girlfriend this quick and get him in there i wouldn't
do that either i would
just get another fucking roommate you know i don't know do the prison workout
keep yourself in shape
and uh i don't know if you still really like this chick maybe keep like a
fucking open mind but i
you know you definitely got to draw some lines and get some boundaries if you're
going to get back
together all right just tell us straight up like listen you were a sweetheart
and i wanted to spend
the rest of my life with you and i definitely dropped the ball in some areas
which i believe we've
covered you know because god knows she read you the riot act but you can
reiterate them so she can feel
validated and then you can delve into her and just be like yeah listen you know
this world
according to garb fucking lunatic that you've gone on to i don't she's not
gonna understand that
reference whatever the references okay you know i haven't arrived i am a human
being and i have all
emotions and i have access to all of them and i have a right to feel them okay
and if i extend that
courtesy to you you need to extend it to me and that's it and if i can be adult
enough to listen to
your opinion that i do not agree with okay but i'll be mature enough to
understand that you're allowed
to have that opinion then you need to do that to me and if you can't do that i'm
not starting this over
again and i'll tell you this ri