Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | To Kill A Mockingbird
Uploaded: 2020-07-31T11:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | To Kill A Mockingbird' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | To Kill A Mockingbird' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-31. Transcript available.

so my parents went down i took him to go see the uh to kill a mockingbird my
buddy actually got
the tickets it was hilarious he got the tickets and i thought he bought them
for us because i
thought he knew the star of the play and he was hooking us up so i'm going to
my parents hey be
sure you say thanks for the tickets so they said hey thanks for the tickets and
i should have known
when he fucking in his text message he he had the price of the tickets i was
sitting there going
that's kind of tacky i get it you know you're doing you're doing us a favor
well i didn't need
to know the exact numerical amount so i went in there i was like hey dude i go
thanks again for
the tickets and i saw that look on his face that i fucking knew and i just
started laughing i said
oh fuck was i supposed to give you some money and then he was able to joke his
way out of it and uh
and he goes nah fuck it whatever he goes i'll buy him i'll buy him i go no no
no no i brought my
parents that's three fucking tickets you don't have to pay for tickets i was
like as much as i would
like to stick you for all this money just so you could bring it up for the rest
of your life uh
so i ended up paying him so anyway we saw to kill a mockingbird starring jeff
daniels he highly
underrated jeff daniels you know people just think he does comedy because i
think the first time
mainstream people learned about him was dumb and dumber absolutely crushed the
role it was fucking
amazing if you're in new york you get a chance to see it one of the most
incredible things about it was
how many actors there were and how they had to like move the sets on and off
stage themselves
and there would be all of this movement going on but the way they lit it and
the way people came out
you were always looking at the person you were supposed to be looking at and
then all of a sudden
you'd be like oh fuck when did when did the star of the play get out that i
didn't even see him come
out there it's it's incredible um so anyway we're at the play and sitting there
enjoying it it's like
two hours and 40 minutes long which i was like oh fuck man this is gonna be
brutal and it wasn't it
flew by it fucking flew by um obviously it's an intense story so in the
dialogue you know no wasted words so
you're you're in it just in case you're not a fan of the theater this is
something you should definitely
check out so we're watching we're having a good time now are you familiar with
the movie to kill a
mockingbird you know came out a long time ago robert duvall a young robert duvall
was in it
spoiler alert i don't want to ruin this but in order to tell the story i have
to tell you what this
fucking asshole did a couple rows back and he did it twice
all right now you have plenty of time i'm going to tell this story for about
two minutes you have
plenty of time to hit stop all right mel maybe what if you're getting on an
airplane right now and
you're struggling with your bags and you put it in the overhead compartment i
gotta i gotta you know
i gotta wait a second do you put your bag down huh you fold it up suits i for
the life of me i don't
get how that that piece of luggage works you know the the garment bag and you
fold it up and then you
put the strap over and somehow you take it out in your suit shouldn't it just
have one big wrinkle
right across it one big one rather than a bunch of little ones it shouldn't
have one big one evidently
it works i don't know if you bend it over at the waist but the coat hangs down
half of it past it
i mean i don't know all right that was enough bullshit 80s comedy there to get
me past that uh
so we're sitting there watching the play all right and there's one guy in the
play who everybody thinks
says the town drunk so at a pivotal part of the play he comes walking out and
you're like oh here's the
town drunk and he's got he's got in his bag a bottle of booze drinking out of a
paper bag and
some kid on uh you know kid he's just a kid is hyperventilating in the play and
he goes here have a
sip and you're thinking oh my god he's giving him booze and when the kid takes
the sip he finds out that
it's coca-cola and the whole time the whole town thought that he was a drunk he
wasn't he was actually
stone sober i don't know if he didn't like society or whatever he was just i
don't know it's a long
story so as he sips it as he's giving it to the kid some some some some by like
two rows
behind me just goes it's soda pop and there was no clue that it was soda pop he
clearly saw the movie
scene the play and he was like how fucking insecure do you have to be as a
person
to fucking say that loud enough that i'm two rows up and diagonally away from
this guy like
five fucking people away that we all have to heal like in his world we were all
like wow
how did that guy figure that out is he a gumshoe is he some sort of a sleuth i
have to turn around
and see if he's holding a big magnifying glass up to one of his eyeballs oh oh
my it took everything
in me the play was too good and i i respected the fact that everybody else didn't
he just
it's soda pop and then the kid just goes like oh it's coca-cola
i wish i wish i had more patrice in me because i would have said something
but you know what no one else heard it but i so just want to turn around when
he just goes it's
soda pop and then oh oh coca-cola i don't want to just turn around just be like
wow how'd you figure
that out right this fucking thing
and that has been in my head for like i saw it last night i can't stop thinking
i just keep walking
around laughing in my apartment it's soda pop soda pop how would you know it's
soda pop you've obviously
seen it before you obviously now want us to think that you're fucking smart and
you and you're so you
so need that you so need that that you're going to spoil this part of the play
you're going to make
that about you all right and then and then he did it again he did it again the
asshole did it again
all right spoiler alert coming again i'm letting you guys know this is a
podcast you can fast forward
so there's another part okay where there's the guy who they also think is you
know uh you know deaf and
dumb or whatever like there's a mute or some there's like something wrong with
them right it's sort of
the theme of the play as far as people looking at somebody and judging them by
how they look and
getting it totally wrong um so the end of the play the mute hasn't talked the
entire time
and he's standing there this girl asks him a question you're expecting him not
to talk and in that moment
you're going to learn that this guy is not a mute and can actually speak
so in that pregnant pause where you're really paying attention to the woman
there
and her anguish you know and then he's going to shock you by then talking
that fucking asshole two rows back five fucking people over just goes say
something
oh my god oh the douche chills and this is what killed me i was the only person
who
reacted i was the only one who turned around trying to find the douche
everybody else just sat there and
and then it made me feel like am i fucking hearing things like am i such an
angry redheaded cunt
former redhead red mustachioed cunt
all right with an acceptable level of chest hair am i that am i that fucking
bad
that fucking angry a fucking that this only bugs me
you know i was with my buddy he fucking writes for a living writes and directs
and all that
shit it didn't bug him he didn't even hear it and i'm like how did you not how
did you not hear it
uh anyway