Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | "News is Bad For You" Article
Uploaded: 2020-08-07T11:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | "News is Bad For You" Article' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | "News is Bad For You" Article' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-07. Transcript available.

i actually came across this good thing it says news is bad for you
okay this is from something theguardian.com says news is bad for you and giving
up reading it will
make you happier all right now i'll tell you right now i didn't need this
fucking article
to tell me this i just realized it i figured it out after i went down a rabbit
hole of fucking
you know conspiracy theory you guys remember that people listen to the podcast
10 years ago i mean
i was fucking i was you know i was mr you know chemtrail guy you know i was
that guy saying you
got to shut down the federal reserve and i had no solution to do like what
would what you would do
after that you know i'm sure people that are well read on it had the solution
but i didn't so i was
just walking around freaking people out i was a cunt basically um so anyways it
says news is bad for
your house so i just stopped watching the shit all right i'm just banking on
the fact that there's
going to be some smart people with a good heart that that are going to lead us
out of this fucking
mess because i don't have any solutions all right i go on stage i jump around
like a monkey
and i make you laugh okay that's my lane and as the rock used to say know your
role and shut your
mouth so i'm staying over there i try to watch the news i i try i can't you
know it's the weirdest
thing going from obama to trump going from obama where all they did was lick
his balls for eight years
and then they go to trump and and it's just like all they do is shit on the guy
the entire fucking time
and they're both kind of doing you know with the foreign policy the same
fucking shit although i don't
trump is like a fucking lunatic you know what i mean i you know i heard i was
listening to the
howard stern show and he went on this fucking rant about russia it was just not
talking about the
fucking people just talking about you know uh old vladdy daddy over there he
goes i'm sick of people
fucking talking about russia you know like like they're not that bad he's like
they fucking you
know they kill gay people they they kill reporters just for having a difference
of opinion and he's
right he's fucking right um i don't know i i once that his his his fucking wife
wore that coat when he
was going to go visit those kids that that she was going to go visit those kids
that they had stuck in
cages and she wore a jacket that said i don't really care to you and then try
oh that had to do with fake
news it's just like it's literally like listening to a toddler lie and i god
bless you if you can still
watch that and try and stay politically active because i don't know it's it's
just too fucking
depressing i can't fucking deal with it so i choose not to watch and the last
presidency you know i just
i just it was i i couldn't fucking you know i had hope and then i was just like
oh oh this is gonna
be more of the same oh bankers don't go to jail oh yeah yeah insurance
companies could do whatever
whatever they fucking want and uh yeah we're not going to constructively
criticize our foreign policy
and we're just going to stay the fucking course and shut down the government
every fucking august for
a week and our solution is always going to be the same well what if we raise
the debt
right you know and then meanwhile everything that his wife did was just
considered like angelic it's
just the whole fucking thing was annoying that was like when he was in office
was like watching a
fucking award show everybody's just walking around blowing each other talking
about how fucking
brilliant they are and then this we went from an award show to a fucking train
wreck i honestly don't
know how people have this stomach to pay attention like you're you're a whole
other level tough mentally
than i am so anyways here's here's this whole fucking article here it says news
is bad for you and giving
up reading it will make you happier all right in the past few decades the
fortune fortunate among us
have recognized the hazards of living with an overabundance of food parentheses
obesity and diabetes
and having started to change and have started to change our diets but most of
us do not yet understand
that news is to the mind what sugar is to the body news is easy to digest the
media feeds us small
bites of trivial matter tidbits that don't really concern our lives and don't
require thinking
that's why we experience almost no saturation unlike reading a book or long
magazine articles which
require thinking we can swallow limitless quantities of news flashes which are
bright colored candies for
the mind today we have reached the same point in relation to the to information
that we faced 20
years ago in regard to food we're beginning to recognize how toxic news can be
and i agree with all of this
but everybody can't stop paying attention or else you know somebody has to pay
attention right
somebody's got to be like you can't put it on cruise control so i don't know if
i 100 agree with this i just
know i'm not going to be the gandhi that leads us out of this
you know so as long as i know that
i mean i will just can be content
to listen to howard in the morning and then i listen to fucking baseball at
night
that's what the fuck i do
i don't pretend to know things all right news misleads oh my god what
take the following event
a car drives over a bridge and the bridge collapses
what is what is the news media focus on the car the person in the car where he
came from
where he planned to go how he was he transitioning how they didn't say that
how he experienced the crash parentheses if he survived but that is all
irrelevant
what's relevant the structural stability of the bridge
that's the underlying risk that has been lurking
and could lurk in other bridges oh they get to that
after they go painstakingly through
the horror of the end of that man's life or life-altering injuries
and then they get to his family and they're all crying and all of that shit
um
you know as much as a moron as as i am i always turn that shit off
you know like out here we had a hostage situation at a trader joe's
and um the people i was with were just watching it and watching and watching it's
like
like just out of curiosity what are you going to do if this guy just
runs out and starts shooting people in the fucking head like you want to watch
this
these people in the store are fucking terrified this is the worst fucking
moment of their life
all right the news eventually is going to tell you what happened
and they're going to give you an edited version so you don't have to see people's
brains getting blown out
you know and why you know they literally had like the employees were crying and
a lot of shit
and then i found on the end you know some poor woman died
it was it was it's fucking terrible i'm just going to sit at home
watching it for hours ordering food
you know going online are they tweeting from there what's going on
and then all these fucking assholes on youtube not youtube on twitter
one of these social media people are going to go on and say the obvious
oh my god this is so sad i'm like freaking out right now i love that
oh is that what you're doing are you freaking out in the safety of your own
home
why don't you make this about yourself you fuck oh jesus
social media i bet is people there's a lot of shit that says that's depressing
too
but you know what podcasts actually feed the soul
i believe i'm part of the problem news misleads bill burr misleads
uh anyways plowing ahead we are not rational enough to be exposed to the press
see this guy saying we're all dumb watching an airplane crash on television is
going to change
your attitude toward that risk regardless of its real probability
if you think you can compensate with the strength of your own inner contemplation
you are wrong
i think the subtext of this is you dumb fuck
bankers and economists who have powerful incentives
to compensate for news borne hazards have shown that they cannot
the only solution cut yourself off from the news consumption entirely
news is irrelevant
out of the approximately 10 000 news stories you have read in the last 12
months
name one that because you consumed it allowed you to make a better decision
about a serious matter affecting your life
your career and your business
well i would say anything about the environment
you know
jeez this guy this guy's chip off the old block here
paint with a broad brush
the point is
the consumption of news is irrelevant to you
but people find it very difficult to recognize what's relevant
it's much easier to recognize what's new
all right i think we get the point here news has no
explanatory power
news items are bubbles popping on the surface of a deeper world
oh that's deep
that sounds like a fucking progressive rock band
like a line in the song
um in seven four i imagine
will accumulate facts
that help you understand the world
uh sadly no
the relationship is inverted
the important stories are non-stories
i would agree with that
slow powerful movement
that develop below journalists radar
but have a transforming effect
the more news factoids you digest
the less of the big picture you will understand
maybe this is why everybody's yelling at each other
news is toxic to your body
this i'll just read the headlines here
news increases cognitive errors
news inhibits thinking
news works like a drug
news wastes time
news makes us passive
well that worked with me
news kills creativity
uh well there you go
jesus christ that's pretty fucking negative huh
you