Name: Bill Burr | Boyfriend Doesn't Like Armpit Hair
Uploaded: 2020-08-12T11:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Boyfriend Doesn't Like Armpit Hair' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Boyfriend Doesn't Like Armpit Hair' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-12. Transcript available.

all right boyfriend hates my armpit hair well yeah all right hi bill
love would you like it if he started to have tits i mean that's just how it is
in the west
you're not supposed to have on that not having armpit hair was something that
is just it's it's
not mainstream you're going a little punk rock here i remember when they did
the german version
of 99 luft balloons when she put her hands when she put her fucking arms up we
all went
all right hi bill love your podcast my boyfriend and i listened to it together
and i'm sure
he'll be thrilled if this makes it on uh despite the topic he doesn't like that
i don't shave my
armpit hair constant and constantly comments on it to clear a couple things up
i'm not doing it
because i identify as a hippie or i'm taking a counterculture stance i just
never like shaving
in general oh so you're like a bum at least if you were fucking attached to
some ideology i would
get it how come guys don't have to do it but we have to i get that you just
some how would you like
if you just sat around fucking all unshaven looking like fucking bluto on on
popeye listen this is what
i think all right i think if like you know the person you're banging is turned
off by something
you should make a fucking effort all right obviously if they go your tits too
small you know you tell
them to go fuck themselves okay you need a nose job tell them to go fuck
themselves but like you know
if if i was doing something or you know whatever the fuck i was doing the
person i was with saying
hey that kind of turns me off i'd be like i i got it i got it shaving my armpit
hair whatever the fuck i
gotta do anyway he says it's weird and he notices it often when i wear a sleeveless
shirt and we're
around people yeah
yeah you're wearing a sleeveless shirt you're being a douche you know he doesn't
like it and
then you're flaunting it you're fucking a man yeah you're like fucking making
him look like a jerk
i don't see why it matters most guys have hair there why can't i you passive
aggressive little
so-and-so there's your ideology right there just come out and say it
i have good hygiene i don't smell
well listen first of all you you're you're applying you're saying all of this
all right good hygiene and you don't smell that's not you don't make that
decision the people around
you tell you that how the fuck would you know if you don't smell you're in the
eye of the hurricane
anyways and it doesn't affect anyone other than their supposedly emotional
recreations uh reactions sorry doesn't affect anyone other than their
supposedly emotional reactions to
body hair to me it seems to bother him because it goes against what he saw
growing up since
most women in the u.s chose to shave listen you are 100 percent doing the
feminist thing here
most guys have hair there why can't i and you're just reacting this way because
western society has
told you this so don't say that you're not you're you're you're doing this for
feminist
fucking reasons i'm not saying you're a hardcore feminist i'm not saying you're
a douche i'm not
saying you're wrong but you are doing this for a fucking reason um my question
is is why do most men
find this to be weird or even repulsive thanks for reading if you read it that's
it go fuck yourself
i would say the same reason why most women find man tits repulsive it's like
why can't i have tits
you have tits there's just certain things that are um
you know this is what this is what i'll try to do this as nicely as possible
the error in progressive
thought is they they had this thing is like what is normal there is no normal
it's like yeah there is
there is there is a normal and all of these super progressive people also have
a normal
or else you would walk around and you would never be uncomfortable
if i walk down this my driveway and i see a fucking bear in my driveway
that's not normal but i could argue it is normal i'm outside bears live outside
i'm not used to seeing
a bear in my fucking driveway now if i get uncomfortable does that mean i
fucking hate bears
sweetheart you got a goddamn den of bears under your fucking armpits you're
freaking them out
listen it's it's all how you grew up okay if you grew up and women had hair
under their arms no it
wouldn't bug you but but we didn't so it becomes weird there's societies in the
like there's like
things where guys walk down the street holding their hands we don't do that
here i could never do
that to my with my another one of my guy friends i didn't know what the i don't
even know what would
happen to our friendship we can never talk to each other again all right but
here's the deal
as much as you're probably judging me now if it was reversed and it was another
country of doing it
progressive people be like well you have to respect their culture um so here's
the thing you can have
hair under your fucking arms you have every right to have hair under your arms
and he has every right
to be fucking grossed out by it and i think he's being a great fucking guy
tolerating it yes tolerating
it he's putting up with this thing and that's what you do in a relationship you
tolerate if you really
like somebody is you put up with their bullshit and your bullshit is you know
you got fucking you
got kevin mckayle's fucking arm hip armpit hair um i don't there is nothing
wrong for a guy to be
repulsed by arm by armpit hair any more than uh if a woman is repulsed by
something that a guy does you
can't help how you're fucking wired and this whole fucking thing you know they've
been doing this thing
we're like well what is beauty what is what is you know it's like i if madison
avenue has been the
the people telling us what beauty is shut the fuck up you know you know what a
good looking person
looks like and you know what a fucking fucked up looking person looks like okay
because that whole
fucking shit that that feminists argue about beauty notice they don't really
argue it for men
they only argue it for women okay they want to eat cookies and be on billboards
that's what they
want to do they they want they want to they want to be just in the express lane
their whole life and
not have to do anything um and then meanwhile we have to continue to do all of
our
shit you know what i mean i mean did you ever see like uh i don't know is there
any sort of
male movement out there to be like going like what is with all of these fucking
things on tv
about you know what's wrong with an older man not being able to get his dick
hard anymore i mean
everything on there is you got to have abs your dick's got to be fucking saluting
the flag and you
got to have a fucking lion's mane of hair every fucking thing in on there has
it who gives a
shit it is what it is so here's the deal uh your boyfriend hates your armpit
hair um
you know i gotta be honest with you if if my wife had a problem with something
that i could correct
physically without any sort of major surgery i would do it for i wouldn't have
a problem with it i mean
i don't think it's that big of a deal i don't even think you have to be a jerk
about it i don't think
you even have to shave your fucking armpits you don't have to be but two things
you need to do you
need to own up to the fact that you're doing it for a reason um if you're
honest with him that then
he could have an honest conversation with you because you're trying to act like
i'm just you know
i'm not being like a hippie or a counterculture person you you you are which is
totally fine um
i'll be honest with you i it's i will say this it's not as gross to me as it
used to be
it's a little more uh mainstream i would say but like uh i'll tell you
something that i never
fucking the completely shaved fucking beaver it's just like i'm trying to be
with a woman here
fucking that that that that that that that has always creeped me out just creeps
me out all right um
fucking creeps me out so i i you know i don't know and i did i ever say i don't
think i ever said
anything uh i i passive aggressive what do you think it'd be like yeah it's
pretty intense
so like yeah i mean i you know
i like being in the crowd i don't need to be that far backstage
anyway that is the uh the podcast everybody uh you and your armpit hair or your
lack of armpit hair
have a great fucking time what a fucking i i i hate passive aggressive shit
okay what i'm not doing it
because of this and then you say why you're doing it and then you're wearing
tank tops off in front of
his friends okay you know what you're doing you're putting your statement out
there and then you're
trying to get well what if i didn't what if i don't shave my armpits which you
have a problem with that
you're just starting shit you know what you're doing all right you're just not
as good at it as
you think you are um i haven't said that um
you know i would not kick any woman out of bed that had armpit hair i would not
do that
if they were fucking nice enough to want to fuck me there i said it okay there
you go god bless
everybody go fuck yourselves and i'll check in on you on thursday