Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | How To Deal With Your First Breakup
Uploaded: 2020-10-09T11:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | How To Deal With Your First Breakup' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | How To Deal With Your First Breakup' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-09. Transcript available.

first breakup um hey you freckled fuck oh this person the fucking relationship
goes down the
tubes and they come at me all hostile i'll make this quick i just wanted to
tell someone and
honestly and honestly before i talk my to my parents i know you're dyslexic
like me so i'll
use basic words well i appreciate that i'm a senior in high school i'm on the
varsity wrestling
and run disc and run distance track my free time has only consisted of homework
and netflix
parentheses f is for family is my favorite show nice did you guys see how we
announced that the
great vince vaughn will be on the uh will be on season uh three right no season
two no season three
yeah season three i'm getting fucking confused myself anyways he said uh
what the hell is it i'm a senior in high school blah blah blah well that was
like 10 months ago
i had never dated a girl ever but i had a crush on this girl for like a full
year she runs cross
country and is way smarter than i will ever be all right great put her up on a
pedestal see how that
works she's a year younger than me but we eventually started talking because
when the boys and girls
varsity teams would hang out we both would be there eventually she became all
that i thought about i
literally could not focus on school running etc we talked almost every night
over text and were together
every time i went out with the team we went to homecoming my first time
together a few weeks ago
and i had my first kiss there jesus christ this sounds like a fucking perfect
story after that
night we really didn't talk over text that much we don't have any classes
together and practice is not
a good time to hang out well anyway about a week ago she texted me and said she
didn't see a future
of us being more than friends i told her what i felt i just said that's fair
and all i want is for her
to be happy which is true but i thought i would be able to brush that shit off
like it was nothing
but i'm writing this email for no reason so that obviously didn't happen uh
should i have fought
harder to keep us together just move on i've never been in a relationship and i
don't know what to do
anymore would appreciate your advice as always go fuck yourself uh you sound
like a funny kid man i think
you can get yourself you know i think you'll be fine just keep using humor cry
it out of you yeah
you're fucking you fell hard for this person and then they sent you packing and
then you're like
what is there something wrong with me and it's like no there isn't you're just
not right
it's not like she broke up with you for a specific thing you know you're torturing
animals and i just
don't like that about you she just said we're not right she didn't feel the
spark the way you did
that's what happens and she did you a favor so uh the best thing is you didn't
yell at her and you're
still kind of friendly with her so what i would do is i would just fucking yeah
but don't brush it off
um if you have to like brush something off that means you you're trying to
trick yourself that you
don't give a shit you do give a shit and just sort of exist in giving a shit
about it talk it out with
people um but i would leave her alone but be friendly with her say hey what's
up and blah blah blah
and um you know and you're young you're still in high school you gotta you
gotta you got a zillion at
bats that was your first fucking at bat you know what are you gonna do so i
wouldn't i wouldn't take
it that hard um but it's normal that if you like somebody and they break up
with you for you to feel
bad all right if you could have just brushed it off like it was no big deal
then that would mean that
you didn't like her or that you were like a sociopath and then what that would
lead you to torturing
animals and eventually work your way up to uh the ultimate prey being a human
being walking out of a
7-eleven unsuspectingly uh so that's it