Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | Tales From The Tailgate: Cornhole & A Big Drunk Guy
Uploaded: 2020-10-16T11:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Tales From The Tailgate: Cornhole & A Big Drunk Guy' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Tales From The Tailgate: Cornhole & A Big Drunk Guy' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-16. Transcript available.

like the whole weekend was it just was one non-stop fucking laugh then we get
to the tailgate
my buddies are on this golf course and i have the uber drop us off on the other
side of the
golf course we had to walk like 10 fairways and you know the ball breaking
started by the second
hole and i'm like i think it's over the next hill yeah bill it's over the next
hill like
where the fuck are we you know uh i believe there was a magellan reference i
can't even remember and
we're just fucking laughing right and we finally end up finding um finding the
tailgate we're throwing
the football around we're playing that beanbag toss game or whatever that one
of the guys there
he made his own he built it from hand and then he had in the hole he had it lit
he had like lights
around the hole on the inside it was just like to a whole other level and it
got really fucking
competitive and verzi and this dude al that we go with they would like the two
best i'm like you guys
are the dream team you got to take down the dentist because this kid who was a
dentist was the guy who
fucking built the thing himself um cornhole i believe is what the fucking game's
called
and it got to the point everyone was just so fucking into it right
and uh i sucked at it like i just kept going for the hole i never got one to
just i didn't you
gotta have like that robert parish foul shot arc to your shit so anyways um
we're standing there we're playing and all of a sudden this fucking guy you
know people kept walking
between us throwing it you know we were taking our time letting people pass and
one guy i swear to god
look like the dude from fucking radio head he just comes walking up and he's
fucking hammered real
slowly and then i tried to grab one of the bags out of my buddy's hands and you
know he's sort of a
midwest guy so they think you know those guys they got like a long fuse midwest
people but you know when
they snap forget about it because they like had to pick up tractors when they
were kids so they
fucking squeeze you to death so he kind of chills out and i got the east coast
short fuse so i just
didn't like it because he wasn't saying anything and he was just staring that
kid down so i just
looked at him as a 50 year old man at a tailgate i looked at him and i said the
is your problem
like like i'm gonna roll around on the grass with this guy with my up shoulder
my
50 year old body right not even not even thinking oh i've been p90x and have
you bill you're half a
century old keep your mouth shut and drink your rolling rock but i didn't so
what the
is your problem so he's walking away and he's staring at me and i'm staring at
him
and i'm like going uh i'm about ready to get into a fight
why uh i got a kid like what am i doing but like i'm not gonna look away from
this guy because
as much as i'm thinking that i hate this kid right so he's staring at me he's
staring at me
and then all of a sudden he won't stop staring as he's kind of walking away and
he's just as he's
getting into a distance of like all right i think he's just gonna bluff his way
out of this
he walks into an empty chair of somebody else's tailgate and when i tell you it
took like
nine seconds for this guy to slowly it was like somebody chopped down a redwood
how long it took
for him to fall and all the tailgates because they were kind of watching it the
whole thing transpire
uh the like three tailgates as this guy falls everyone were like oh
he hit the ground and everybody's dying laughing and then he stands up he's
still staring at me
like you ever see a drunk guy fall down but he doesn't spill any part of his
beverage that's what
he was doing but with like a stare down he had a cigarette that's what he had
and he hits the ground
and he's still staring at me that radio head with one eye more open than the
other one
and then he puts a cigarette in his mouth and as he's getting up he's still
staring at me
and he grabs the chair and for half a second i'm like this lunatic is going to
throw this chair at me
and he just stood the thing up and then looked at everybody and did a
giant wave like it was the end of the performance and i want to say he got an
applause break and he
walked away so now we're all once again crying laughing
fucking crying laughing just having the best time ever